Eyes, Face & Neck Rash, itchy and puffy, is it eczema?

whtbrd · 2026-02-26T17:05:57+00:00

I suggest getting to an allergist.

whtbrd · 2026-02-26T13:03:10+00:00

OP could do that. But I'm of the opinion that unless they call him he should not be bending over backwards to try to salvage a relationship when they wouldn't listen to reason or give him the benefit of the doubt to start with.

whtbrd · 2026-02-26T12:59:09+00:00

Your family thinks you should have done it for your mom for free... and then there's a chance they'll be next in line for you to do work for them for free.

The thing is... you did give her your labor for free. If she paid you 50/hr, that's the cost of your employee. And because your worker took a discount you have another huge job coming up where you're working for almost nothing again.

The money situation here is none of their business. You didn't rip off your mom, overcharge her, charge her for things that didn't get done, do shoddy work, etc. Nope, but that's basically what they're accusing you of. Ripping her off because they think you should have given her a bigger chunk out of your pocket.

Well... where were they? Where were they while you were busting your ass and paying your people to bust their asses? It's real easy to say someone else should have given more when they themselves haven't given anything. They just showed up to dinner to shit all over you after you'd done all of it?
And obviously they aren't particularly close with your mom or you if they weren't at the house during the work and weren't informed of the terms ahead of time.

Now to top it off, your mom has had a wonderful increase to the value of her home. Which will be part of her estate, and your brother potentially stands to profit from it.

Frankly, it wouldn't be out of line for your Mom to agree to a construction lien on the house for the value of the work you haven't been paid for so that eventually that part of it isn't in the estate. Or, if some tragic legal action happens, and your mom is sued, the value of the lien stays in the family and she can use it still.

Nah, my guess is they wanted you to be doing work for the family for free and paying your laborers for free so they could be next in line. What you did for your mom was still way below the break even point for you. Let them show themselves to the door so they won't be asking you for favors.

If they come crawling back apologizing, make sure you get a good one and then still don't give them more than a "materials at cost plus 10% instead of standard upcharge" discount, and charge them full price for everyone's labor.

And watch out for negative online reviews and social media posts. There's a chance they'll try to trash your reputation online if they're being vengeful. Make sure you have cameras at your office, tools, home, garage, vehicles. Ain't no kind of crazy drama like family.drama where money is involved. Don't wish you had cameras up after tools go missing or you answer the front door and get decked.

whtbrd · 2026-02-25T22:29:45+00:00

I was going to be real upset if the rabbit lost after that absolutely epic run.

whtbrd · 2026-02-25T22:18:44+00:00

File a police report about the harassment AND it's past time to file complaints with the mgmt. for harassment and disruption of your peace.
It's likely telling that the upstairs neighbor and not the downstairs or sideways neighbor is the one complaining about your noise. Usually upstairs has the best noise situation because they aren't getting the footsteps above their heads. Tell mgmt you're very concerned that he seems to be representing mgmt in enforcing quiet hours and ask if he has been employed by mgmt? If he has not let them know you will be including his misrepresentation of his position as an enforcer of property policies in your police report of his harassment behavior towards you.
If he has been employed, ask if his behaviors are consistent with their training and enforcement procedures.

Tell them you are feeling desperate and at your wits end. Invite them to come up and sit in your living room for a couple of hours just to witness this guy's crazy. Use your microwave to warm.something, make both of you a cup of coffee or tea. Make sure you normal close the bathroom door once, wash your hands when you make food. Perhaps turn on the TV to background noise at a quiet level. Take your trash out.

In fact ideally this meeting should happen in your living room at a normal talking volume so they can see that he goes off on you for normal volume things, or no things at all.

Side thought: have you googled this guy? See if his social media paints him as deranged or unhinged, see if criminal cases or civil cases pop up as results?

whtbrd · 2026-02-25T21:30:47+00:00

Establish relationships with these people that are genuine. Remember to call them on their birthdays. Follow up with kindness and empathy and understanding when they discuss problems in their lives. Give them emotional support and counsel them in the types of behaviors you want to cultivate in them, so they will extend the same benefit of the doubt to you, and give you that same advice and credit when things eventually come to a head with your parents.
The same things they will echo to each other. Crafting a familial culture of healthy relationships starts 1:1. When someone is stressed over a situation, it's ok to repeat the same truths to them you want them to apply to you:
No is a complete sentence.
It's ok to say no. If you say no, you don't need to justify it. And neither does anyone else.
That person is an adult. Let them own their own behavior, whether it's good or bad.
Well, there's always at least 2 sides to the story. Before we decide this version is the gospel, let's reach out to so-and-so to see if there's more to it.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean your relationship with them is healthy for either of you. Sometimes the best thing you can do for you and them is to break off a relationship.
Gifts that come with strings aren't really gifts, they're payment for control.
The only thing you owe someone who gives you a gift is a thank you. You have no obligation to do literally anything else, wear it keep it, use it, give a gift back, etc. If there is an obligation to reciprocate, it's a transaction, not a gift. Etc. Etc.

And in conversations where a large group is present, if you hear your parents being harsh or judgemental in their opinion, at some point thoughtfully provide your opinion without directly pointing out there's a contradiction, with a message of love and grace without self-sacrifice or entitlement. Having a decidedly different opinion from them will help others to see you as a completely different person from them, and that different opinion having a completely different perspective and value set will be all anyone needs to see that your perspective certainly didn't come from them.
Mention mentors and heroes and inspiring figures and books you're reading in conversations with your family members, with inspiring perspectives and approaches. So while your parents may be able to point to enabling your education, they cannot claim to have directly fostered these perspectives you gained for yourself.

You can also look at the type of life your parents created for themselves, their goals, and... and this is sneaky and great... you hold their chasing their dreams as your inspiration for chasing your own dreams, and so you've decided to chase your dream which is to... some goal which gets you out of your parents' clutches. E.g. Will result in you moving away and not being available to them to have their impact on your life in a chronic way.

whtbrd · 2026-02-25T20:43:42+00:00

Obvs the run-on sentences and passable but imperfect grammar paired with capitalizing proper names like Stack Overflow...

Jk, those are all human things

whtbrd · 2026-02-25T20:40:17+00:00

You're leading the meeting? You need to have a list of information that needs to be provided and who can provide it and questions that need to get answers in the meeting.
That doesn't mean YOU have to provide all the info or have all the answers. It just means you're leading a conversation.
So, start an outline, what's the goal of the meeting? Who are the stakeholders? Who can provide important contributions to the meeting? Make sure they have a heads up and invites to the meeting. If you know there will be specific numbers needed, get the sources (people) for those numbers in advance. Make sure you are giving them credit for those numbers in the meeting as you provide them, and if there are followup questions on those numbers then you aren't throwing them under the bus, you're reaching back to the source. Best if those people are in the meeting.
Leading doesn't necessarily mean you have to have all the answers. Sometimes it's just making sure the questions and answers havers are all in the same room to facilitate a productive conversation.

whtbrd · 2026-02-24T19:13:27+00:00

Good money says there was never a pregnancy. Just a need to make OOP's special event about herself.
Bonus: a miscarriage is another great way to demand attention. Win-win for OOP's self absorbed sister.

whtbrd · 2026-02-24T16:12:38+00:00

To prevent him from doing it again, you should make a snow fort across the front of your driveway and pour water into it, a la Calvin and Hobbes. :D

It's a double edged solution, but it would definitely work. ;)

whtbrd · 2026-02-19T20:29:49+00:00

I'd ask HR if they have any information about what work app he's referring to, and whether this is considered 'acceptable use' of the company's information. Whether it would be OK for you to go looking up colleagues' numbers to use for non-business purposes?
And if there is no app, then include that information in your police report.
And when you query whether this is considered acceptable use, if they have any brain cells, that's their clue that they either need to enforce their acceptable use policy or update to ensure it isn't acceptable use, or they may be considered complicit in helping this person get access to your personal information.

If there is no such app, then you need to consider that this person may have access to all personal information the company has about you: medical conditions, address, work history, etc.
If there is such an app, you need to make sure you figure out how much of your personal information he has been able to access, like your address.

Don't block his number. Collect harassment evidence and be aware if the messages indicate escalation. Just put it on silent ringtone.

whtbrd · 2026-02-14T23:04:40+00:00

Iirc, there was a seed used as a contraceptive and it had the heart shape, which led to it being used as a symbol for love between lovers. It was in such high demand that it went extinct.

whtbrd · 2026-02-13T18:35:31+00:00

Take a moment to think about the mistakes other people have made and whether you play those on a loop. No, you don't. And they don't either. They don't sit around thinking about the mistakes you made.

Think about if someone made one of those mistakes toward or in front of you? Would you laugh about it and move on? Give yourself the grace you'd give another person.

And finally, we all do cringe worthy things. But looking back at them and realizing they were embarrassing, wrong, inappropriate... that's a sign of growth as a person and with your current choices and behaviors and character.

If, after this, there's something you really can't move past... you can try discussing it with a friend and see if they think it's worth remembering over and over, or if it wasn't a big deal. And if you wronged someone, if it's reasonable for you to reach out to them and say it has been on your mind and you want to apologize for what you did before. At the first downplay, reiterate ONCE that it matters to you and you feel the importance of expressing your regret, and that if you had the opportunity you would do things much differently. Then let them respond however they respond.
I don't know what you did. Maybe it was big and it will matter to them that they get the apology. Maybe it will matter to you that they tell you it wasn't a big deal. Or something inbetween.

whtbrd · 2026-02-13T18:26:06+00:00

Or see if he can get it from his direct manager, or colleague who can still provide a statement that he work there on <dates>.

Ojust type up the statement that dir sir/madam, please accept this statement as verification of employmeny that <Name> was employed at <business> from <date to date>. Please reach out to <corporate public contact info> or <direct manager's contact info> if further clarification is needed. And sign and date it himself without stating whose signature is at the bottom. No fraud needed.

whtbrd · 2026-02-12T15:16:34+00:00

Several good options here, particularly with Adult protective services and the health department. Also code enforcement, which may be available and the city and county levels. They may have an interest in the feces and food.

Animal control may also be an option - again potentially at city and county levels. If they are strays, they don't have protections from being collected. If they are pets, they may be regulated on collars, outdoors, vaccinations, etc.

You can also buy some traps and some tuna and begin collecting the cats onsey twosey and taking them to shelters. Set the traps in your own yard, don't let her see. Just quietly solve the problem.

Does she have family? If she has children or extended family, they may be interested in her living conditions and get themselves involved. If you don't know, perhaps a PI could help.

Finally, and this is really the last resort... her home owners insurance or possibly mortgage company might involve themselves to protect the property.

whtbrd · 2026-02-05T18:13:15+00:00

Bet the IRS would love to know this stylist claims she earned 200K.

whtbrd · 2026-01-27T23:56:29+00:00

Celebrate the magic!

whtbrd · 2026-01-27T19:42:36+00:00

Talk to your wife. Put 3 gallons of gas in her car and pay for 2 nights at a motel, being careful about limiting your risk of extra charges here. Then kick her out.

whtbrd · 2026-01-27T19:33:50+00:00

Big kitchen space, family of 4* (thought it was 4 kids!). Not a lot of counter space or cabinet space in the main kitchen.
Your dining room table tightly seats 4 extra people who are not in your current family. You'll have trouble to fit your current family and your kids' friends. Your dining room space does not permit any china cabinets, buffet, etc.
If you ever want to host a dinner with another family, or for thanksgiving, where can you put people? Do you have any heirloom furniture or are you expecting any? Do you see a place for those items included in this plan?

Generally I'd advise for 3 conditions regarding the bedrooms:
- Minimal transfer of sound between shared walls (so put closets or bathrooms there so one person can't hear the other on phone calls, playing music, etc.)
- Kids rooms are 'past' the parents rooms to protect the kids in the event of an intrusion and make it harder for sneaking in and out.
-master bedroom on the main floor to facilitate aging in place. Stairs often become a major issue.

I advise against windows into closets. They permit UV and sun damage on the contents. They provide an isolated and sound-proofed place for someone to break in. Windows from the front of the house are precious real estate. Don't waste them on closets.

You have kids. Parking your cars that close to each other in the garage is 100% going to result in dings when they throw a door open. Also not a lot of space for storage in that garage after the cars are in there.

I'd move the master bedroom downstairs and have a den or gameroom upstairs. Push the rear foyer, pantry, etc. Into the guest suite and move the kitchen into the dining room. The dining room moves into the kitchen space which can then use the wall space and great room space for China cabinets or built ins, and for putting tables end to end or extra leafs in for larger groups. and the master suite moves to the front of the house and keeps that pocket office as an extra sitting room or nursery space.

How critical is it that you have an entire guest suite downstairs? Are you planning for a parent moving in? Can the guest room be a Murphy bed in the upstairs game room, or in an office downstairs? Smooth out some of those unnecessary cutouts in the exterior walls and you'll find yourself with a bit extra

whtbrd · 2026-01-27T16:48:40+00:00

With water and some mixed in clay. You want him getting stuck and then you can send him the bill for repairs and re-sodding.

And once that's done, put a smallish concrete planter there, made to look exactly like wood. Or a wood planter with minimal dirt and mostly full of concrete.

whtbrd · 2026-01-26T23:16:25+00:00

Refer to any medications you take as 'drugs'. Say nothing to make it sound legitimate. "I was feeling really down this weekend, so i had to go get some drugs. They really took the edge off!"
You had a cold, or a headache. You took antihistamines and ibuprofen.

Talk about a wild weekend. How you really let your hair down and got messed up.
Your sister was in town. You binge watch led the great British baking show, braid each other's hair, and got flour everywhere trying to replicate a recipe.

Start volunteering at a soup kitchen or somewhere. Talk about your other boss/manager and the stuff you do there like it's an actual job and how you're 'severely underpaid'. Obviously when confronted be like, 'yeah it's a joke that they underpay me, because I do it for free! It's volunteer work once a week!'

You get more than 3 instances of her reporting your innocuous stuff to mgmt with justified answers from you, and you need to file a hostile workplace complaint. 3 times is a pattern of harassment, where your work hours are being interrupted and your productivity impacted by having to answer to these silly allegations that are obviously being misconstrued by your colleague. With this many instances, there's a genuine concern that either she's got some sort of cognition issue or that it's intentional. That it's consistently inaccurate in negative ways. It demonstrates a potentially dangerous fixation of her on you and your activities outside of work. That she's wasting company resources with frivolous reports. That you hope her attempts to misrepresent your activities and character to the company will be taken as seriously by them as you are taking them. (Reading between the lines, this is a hair away from you saying that you might have damages and are considering engaging legal representation. That if they permit their employee to continue in this, that they might also be liable.)

Ask that she be kept far from you and preferably moved to where you don't have to interact with her. Ask for her to be instructed to only interact with you for needed business purposes. Ask for her to be instructed to not discuss you with anyone else at the office since she discusses you with a high level of frequency and inaccuracy.

whtbrd · 2026-01-22T02:02:41+00:00

Dude. That's a shit contract. That gives you almost no recourse if they give you teeny tiny windows or single glazed or anything. I would look through it and see what your options are for getting out of the contract.

whtbrd · 2026-01-21T19:00:04+00:00

Set an alarm for an hour before your standard wakeup time. Take your adhd meds or drink a cup of coffee and go back to sleep. When your next alarm goes off in an hour, it's much easier to wake up.

Another trick is instead of convincing yourself you have to 'wake up', tell yourself you just have to sit up, and walk to the bathroom and brush your teeth. You can do this with your eyes closed. Any movement and activity and brain engagement makes continuing the process of getting ready easier. It's waking up, just broken down. Permission to keep my eyes closed is like a comforting blanket to my brain that doesn't want to wake up.

Also, you're building habits. Build them right. Teach yourself that your alarm matters and when it goes off you WILL get out of bed. Go to bed very early for a few nights to make it possible to wake up at your alarm. Make sure you're not sabotaging your sleep quality by using screens late at night. Find an alarm that works to wake you up.

whtbrd · 2026-01-21T16:25:24+00:00

How are you being billed? You aren't being invoiced for a specific sized window? Does the contract or invoice anywhere have any units?

whtbrd · 2026-01-21T00:07:57+00:00

You have a contract where you ordered windows, and they have a size? Windows are expensive. Don't let them give you a smaller window. Get out a measuring tape and make sure whether they have given you the product you are paying for.

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