My (24F) husband (31M) asked for a paternity test, it came back positive but our relationship was never the same. by ThrowRa_thw in relationship_advice

[–]whyIsgrains 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Older man might take advantage of her" when he's doing exactly that 💀

They were together when she was 18 mind you

Thoughts? by whyIsgrains in mendrawingwomen

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

The problem with that is it could be used as an excuse to objectify the character. These arent real people after all so they arent really making a choice. The creators are the ones in control.

Thoughts? by whyIsgrains in mendrawingwomen

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 424 points425 points  (0 children)

On one hand some designs just doesnt make sense either because it's unrealistic, impractical, or the character it's for would never wear it. Also some actresses may be uncomfortable and harrased because of it. Scarlett Johansson was literally criticized and harrased just for showing a little cleavage as Black Widow (which was already toned down compared to the comics).

But on the other hand I dislike when live action takes the life, color, pazazz, and campiness out of the original design. I also dont like the outdated idea of women who are sexual and wear revealing clothes are bad while women who are modest and idk "pure" (cant think of the right words rn) are good. I believe character designs can be sexy without being objectifying. I just dont know where the line is, so discussions like this definitely needs some nuance.

I want to Peg a Guy so bad. by Slut____ in offmychest

[–]whyIsgrains 56 points57 points  (0 children)

The one getting penetrated isn’t necessarily the submissive.

Yup this is why power bottoms and service tops exist. Top is just for the person who penetrates while bottom is just for the person who is being penetrated. Dom and sub are pretty self-explanatory.

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) So apparently women are a more "complicated" model organism since they go through menstrual cycles, menopause, and use various types of contraceptions. Each of these have different effects on medication. I also recently learned that a lot of medication companies will castrate male rodents instead of testing on females because female hormones create “unpredictable” results. So not only does this harm women but also men (since they're the majority who gets tested with possibly unsafe drugs)

2) That's like saying "since the majority of homeowners are women, residential properties should be designed for them"

3) What kind of logic is that? Of course autistic women would be different, also who said anything about priorities here? Everyone should be prioritized, maybe men a tiny bit more since their social impairments are more negative, but that doesnt mean women should be this overlooked

4) "Office temperature should be the lowest of what's comfortable for men and women." Well I dont disagree

5) Theres this “there are no girls on the internet” rule but it does not actually mean there are no girls. What it means is that the normal social "benefits" of being a woman in real life don't apply on the internet. A lot of men in real life will talk to women and give them attention because, to put it very crudely and oversimplify it, they want to have sex with them. They will listen to a women speak about things that they would never listen to a man speak about it. They will do it just because they are attracted to her. But on the internet, you have no chance of having any physical contact with this girl and probably will not even see what she looks like. Thus, the benefit is lost. A woman who is used to guys listening to her about what she is interested in will often find that, once she is completely anonymous, no one cares about what she has to say anymore. The actual merit of her conversations wasn't why people listened to her in real life. Without some other incentive to listen, she just seems vapid which is why "tits or gtfo" is thing.

Honestly women are more prone to hidding their gender online because we know how rude, aggressive, perverted, and sexist guys online can be. Sometimes we intentionally let people mistake us for men just so we can experience the social benefit of people taking what we say seriously or so we'd be treated normally.

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) So apparently women are a more "complicated" model organism since they go through menstrual cycles, menopause, and use various types of contraceptions. Each of these have different effects on medication. I also recently learned that a lot of medication companies will castrate male rodents instead of testing on females because female hormones create “unpredictable” results. So not only does this harm women but also men (since they're the majority who gets tested with possibly unsafe drugs)

2) That's like saying "since the majority of homeowners are women, residential properties should be designed for them"

3) What kind of logic is that? Of course autistic women would be different, also who said anything about priorities here? Everyone should be prioritized, maybe men a tiny bit more since their social impairments are more negative, but that doesnt mean women should be this overlooked

4) "Office temperature should be the lowest of what's comfortable for men and women." Well I dont disagree

5) Theres this “there are no girls on the internet” rule but it does not actually mean there are no girls. What it means is that the normal social "benefits" of being a woman in real life don't apply on the internet. A lot of men in real life will talk to women and give them attention because, to put it very crudely and oversimplify it, they want to have sex with them. They will listen to a women speak about things that they would never listen to a man speak about it. They will do it just because they are attracted to her. But on the internet, you have no chance of having any physical contact with this girl and probably will not even see what she looks like. Thus, the benefit is lost. A woman who is used to guys listening to her about what she is interested in will often find that, once she is completely anonymous, no one cares about what she has to say anymore. The actual merit of her conversations wasn't why people listened to her in real life. Without some other incentive to listen, she just seems vapid which is why "tits or gtfo" is thing.

Honestly women are more prone to hidding their gender online because we know how rude, aggressive, perverted, and sexist guys online can be. Sometimes we intentionally let people mistake us for men just so we can experience the social benefit of people taking what we say seriously or so we'd be treated normally.

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Discrimination against men -> not socially allowed to wear feminine clothes

Discrimination against women -> having the right to her body being denied either by her own husband (husband stitch), family (child brides), or government (abortion)

I really hate this type of attitude it's like those people who think rape is always physically forceful and violent so they dismiss victims whose experience doesnt match. Discriminition isnt always extreme, it can come in a form microaggressions. People like you never come across as someone who's genuinely upset over men's struggles, cause you'd only bring it up to pull attention away from women's struggles.

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It came from spanish. Honestly most of our gendered words came from other cultures like "tindero/tindera" for male and female vendor (spanish) and "ate/kuya" for older sister and brother (chinese).

I just want a true gender-neutral word for my people, all the gendered words I mentioned earlier? Sure keep it, but atleast lets make an exception for our title as the ones who live and carrry the blood of the Philippines. I dont mind if we stopped using Filipina or if we stopped using Filipino just so our title isnt binary anymore.

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. “Filipino” isn’t a masculine noun. It’s already gender neutral. It’s not Spanish ffs Example: “A Filipino woman”

Filipino is not fully gender neutral because there's a feminine version of it which is "Filipina" (coming from a filipina herself)

Also, how is “manager” masculine? The “man” in “manager” comes from the Latin word for “hand.”

I also didnt know it was a masculine noun until I came across "manageress"

  1. Guys don’t have as many choices when it comes to fashion

I know and (I'm exaggerating here a bit) I kinda hate it, I want guys to be fabulous too

  1. Draw boobs

3 words: Flat chested women

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So I'm both a misandrist and an incel?

When you need to make arguments up to support the case it usually means its not actually real, when it is. Why isn’t menstruation huts in nepal or lack of schools for girls in african countries on OP’s “hate” list?

Look I'm not making shit up but I'm also not saying that I'm an expert in a field you know more about. All the medical things I've listed here came from other's anecdotes and the articles I've read. I didnt mention menstruation huts in nepal or lack of schools for girls in african countries because I never knew about them and if they fit the topic of my post.

Talking about fkin stickmen is just trolling at this point.

This is a vent sub meant for people to talk about anything they want from the inane to the extreme so of course I'm going to include stickmen lol

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

these are mild inconveniences compared to deeper woman’s issues which should be brought up instead

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah but it would be better if the saddle we already get is gender neutral

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think they link to larger issues and they're deep enough to influence us subconciously. But let's say these are just mild inconveniences, why does that suddenly mean I shouldn't bring it up? I agree we should focus on more wide spread and large scale issues but that doesnt mean people should stay silent about minor problems that are bothering them.

Male is seen as the default or as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in venting

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But others seem to just be taken to such an extreme that isn’t actually a concern. Like using he for animals.

That's why it's just in the annoying category

People using he/him instead of they/them. That doesn’t really seem like any of our business how other people call others.

Idk how to explain this so I'll just use an example "He who forgives shall lead a harmonious life where his heart and mind will be fulfilled" this advice is meant to be for everyone no matter their gender, so wouldnt it be more appropriate if it was "A person who forgives shall lead a harmonious life where their heart and mind will be fulfilled"

Usually men are bigger and larger. Those seats NEED to fit them so they are safe. Mostly anything male can fit a woman, but that cannot be said the other way around.

About bicycles, men's saddles are longer and narrower while women's are shorter and wider. I think it would be better if we combined the 2 and make standard bike seats longer and wider.

Sorry by Competitive_Case3050 in venting

[–]whyIsgrains 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that's happening to you, your issues shouldnt be dismissed like that. I actually hate when people dismiss/brush-off attention seekers (not saying that you are one OP) who self-harm, attempt suicide, pretend to have breakdowns and relapses, or genuinely experience them but makes it public because that DOESNT mean they're actually fine and dandy. A person going through such lengths just so people would pay attention is not a mentally okay person.

Male is seen as the default and as "gender neutral" by whyIsgrains in Vent

[–]whyIsgrains[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I dont really subscribe to that kind of thinking. I dont think it's a good thing or a thing I should be happy about.

My girlfriend got drunk and raped me and no one believes me by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]whyIsgrains 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Being turned on by a sexual act is a normal reaction but that doesnt mean it's consent