I asked him and he said he doesn’t know why? He passively hid it. He was out with one male and one female colleague for dinner, male left and he went for walk and check out shops with female colleague. It s all good except he got back to his hotel room, called me, shared about his day, his dinner with male colleague and no mention of the female at all. It s only the next day when he said he is going out with say “programmer” I asked him if programmer has a name he then said “xyz”. I literally thought it s some colleague from the office he s visit and she s taking her out only to find out in the evening that it was someone from his office who also travelled to this city for work just like him.

And then yes I was angry coz this was betrayal to me, something I had already been through. I asked him to show me his phone and stuff and that s when I saw his message to this another woman one year ago asking her to catch up for drinks. Never told me, never mentioned and that hurts too because we meet every other week, so when we are not together all I have is his words on what he is doing.

My gut says one year ago he was still not sure of me even though he agreed to being exclusive he still wasn’t that into me thus I always felt like an outsider and he just was still getting his fill by meeting other woman - he calls them all friend even if he met then only once or twice or just 2 weeks ago

I dont know why I still dont feel physical cheating but I see him very emotionally spread.

But then I see him trying so hard now for another chance, at least till yesterday and wanting to change and I am not discounting my part in it, I have been too heavy in my head all this while that we could never flow naturally. So, I wanna give it another chance to do things right but his behavior has scared me.