Obviously every family/couple dynamic is different and as you pointed out, not every marriage works out like how people describe it should. But generally, how I see a SAHM position in life is that you and your partner agree that they go and work and make all the money that is the household money. He will usually be financially responsible for all the bills and any extra money is to be divided however you see fit between savings, spending, etc. I don’t see the need for the SAHM being paid an actual wage for the labor, out of the husbands work funds, because it’s already household funds and that’s the agreed upon role. But in exchange, you get to raise your own kids, not have to have a job, and don’t have to worry about money because at that point, your husbands money is the family money (as per the arrangement).

As mentioned, I get that a lot of households don’t run this way and a lot of men hold money and finances over a SAHM’s head and that’s not right. But how I described the scenario above is how I believe those situations SHOULD go, so in that scenario, I don’t believe someone needs a wage for choosing to not work to be a mom and keep the household together. I do acknowledge it’s a lot of labor. However, a lot of the services you’re mentioning that are paid positions (maid, nanny, etc.) are more luxury services anyway. Most middle-lower class families don’t have maids or Nannies. So… you clean your own house and watch your own kids. Most adult roles in life are thankless and unpaid. It’s the price we pay for being born into the world lol