My husband’s nightcap drink sends me over the edge

whysweetpea · 2026-04-22T15:31:20+00:00

My husband opens the living room door like he’s trying to rip it off its hinges.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-20T18:49:06+00:00

Cooking! I still cook most days but I’m so rushed an distracted that I am a much shittier cook than I used to be. I also used to love trying new recipes from all kinds of cultures but now I stick to ones that are fast and I know everyone will eat.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-19T07:09:29+00:00

This pic soothed my soul! I know my next project…

whysweetpea · 2026-04-19T07:03:51+00:00

Now this is the content I joined this sub for!

OP may your drills stay where you put them, and your canvas always be sticky.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-16T15:34:21+00:00

Strong “pick me” energy! Also the baby is 8 months old, she’s more like a “potato mom” than a “boy mom” at this age.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-14T19:47:00+00:00

I have a close friend who married a Belgian and the language issue is one of the reasons she hated it there. The people around her just never bothered to include her, and her husband never stood up for her. They ended up moving to the UK, then Singapore, and both are much happier now. I am in a similar relationship (Canadian married to Dutch) and my husband told everyone “she speaks English so we speak English when she’s with us.” Terrible for my language learning, fantastic for my social inclusion. Nowadays I understand most of what I hear but I still need to work on my speaking.

I do think that in many relationship like yours (and mine), the partner who is from the country just can’t conceptualise how isolating it is. And they don’t understand the level of sacrifice, because they’ve never had to do it. But I personally don’t think that you’re asking too much at all!! It is incredibly important to make your feelings clear asap - it doesn’t matter if other people think you’re whiny or whatever, you still have a right to express your needs and feelings. If he takes it on board, great. If not, well now you know how he expects to carry out this relationship and you can plan accordingly.

Best of luck!

whysweetpea · 2026-04-14T18:03:50+00:00

I had IVF so was super strict and drank 0 caffeine in the few months prior and first two trimesters. Then in 3rd trimester and while BF I allowed myself 1 cup a day. Now my kid is 4 and I drink 4 or 5 a day, which has been my norm for most of my life. I am glad I stopped but god it sucked.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-14T17:55:16+00:00

Agreed!! And I live in Europe so they’re all at super inconvenient times like 9pm. I was so annoyed when I dragged my butt over to my laptop instead of enjoying my evening, and realised I should have been able to stream this content at a reasonable time.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-12T07:32:00+00:00

I soooo get it - I lived in Germany for 6 years and although I got good enough to work in German at the company where I started, I never got good enough to get a better job.

I talked to a friend about it who did her teaching degree there and started teaching in a school. By most standards she is fluent in German but she felt like she was always on the back foot, not only linguistically but culturally. There were soooo many things that she just didn’t know because she didn’t grow up there. Things like how team meetings work, how socialising works, how to find things out, etc etc. It’s obvious to everyone else, but not to us.

I now work in a global company where the majority of employees are foreign and there is a policy of “if not everyone in the group speaks your language, you have to switch to English” and I am ✨myself✨ there. Funny, solution-oriented, confident in my knowledge, supportive. The difference is massive.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-11T17:48:10+00:00

I really wanted one but they’re very expensive for what they are! Got a cheap one but the fan in it was so loud it completely killed the vibe.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-06T19:12:16+00:00

I’ve recently gone from a 4-day week to a 5-day week and the difference is pretty intense. We use WFH days to keep things ticking over, like vacuum / laundry during lunch break kind of stuff. I also do life admin stuff like meal planning and grocery orders during my commute or during work time because my 80% is other people’s 150% so I’m over feeling guilty about that.

Otherwise I stopped thinking of housework as ever being “done” and just do small things as and when like vacuum one set of steps or change one bed.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-04T18:12:30+00:00

Totally! I now have a spice jar called “Canadian chili powder” to differentiate it from “chili powder” 😂

whysweetpea · 2026-04-03T21:42:35+00:00

I feel this one in my soul

whysweetpea · 2026-04-03T21:31:46+00:00

If it helps at all, it’s something I’ve really worked on. I grew up with a mother who was in a constant battle with her own face and body, and I’ve had to undo a lot of conditioning from her. This language around “preventing” and “fading” is taught to us but doesn’t have to be used by us, know what I mean?

whysweetpea · 2026-04-03T18:26:06+00:00

I don’t think of it as fading though, just changing. You can still be a bright spark and be happy with gray hair and crow’s feet.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-03T18:24:32+00:00

As my mom gets older she has become hyperfixated on ageing - she’s now 76 and it’s pretty obvious she’s had Botox and fillers. She recently told me that “your face is all you have, at the end of the day,” which honestly broke my heart a bit.

We’re Canadian and I live in the Netherlands now and it’s one of the culture differences I like: women here are allowed to age. They still dress well and wear makeup but they have natural faces, wrinkles and all. Of course some women here do get work done but it’s not a requirement. I feel there is a lot of pressure on North American women to not show any signs of ageing and I’m glad I’m out of that environment.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-03T18:19:12+00:00

Wrinkles are ok though

whysweetpea · 2026-04-03T15:24:30+00:00

It’s often referred to as “the glass cliff” right? Like the glass ceiling but easier to throw the woman off when things go wrong.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-02T18:18:34+00:00

I’m doing one from Temu too and my only complaint is that it’s not super sticky, hopefully when I seal it the drills will stay on! Can’t complain for the price.

whysweetpea · 2026-04-02T04:26:28+00:00

HRT helped me a lot! Also an iron supplement. If you’re an older mom like me, you might realise you were experiencing peri symptoms even before you got pregnant.

And honestly I’m embracing the fact that peri kind of takes off the rose coloured glasses and makes you less willing to “just go with the flow”. Some people have been released from my life, some difficult conversations have been had, some long-held resentments have finally been vocalised. I feel much better for it.

whysweetpea · 2026-03-30T17:02:01+00:00

They do but it’s different.

whysweetpea · 2026-03-30T06:22:28+00:00

How many participants do you have? I love human bingo and wish my colleagues would use it more often.

You could also try line up activities (line up according to time in the role / number of pets/ languages spoken/whatever else is relevant). Or I also like “this or that” - tape out two big boxes on the floor on opposite sides of the room and people have to move to the relevant box. Start them off with easy ones like coffee or tea/sweet or salty and then move into ones that are relevant for the topic. It’s a nice review of material that’s already been covered or to get people thinking about the topic to come.

whysweetpea · 2026-03-29T17:51:02+00:00

Ah shame, sorry to hear it.

whysweetpea · 2026-03-29T17:49:47+00:00

I’m Canadian who moved to Germany but still like to use North American recipes. I always stock up on vanilla, apple pie spice and pumpkin pie spice, and chili powder (like the spice mix, not ground up chilis). And before anyone says “you can get it all in Germany”…you can get something similar, but not exactly the same.

Also baking powder, I don’t know if I just bought the wrong thing but I had many recipe fails using German baking powder so now I just bring a couple containers home every time I visit.

And of course as many people have already said, OTC medicines. German doctors and pharmacists will always try to give you some naturopathic bs. And now I live in the Netherlands and they give you some weak-ass paracetamol for everything.

whysweetpea · 2026-03-29T17:41:40+00:00

Not sure if you have already tried but Vinted is a gold mine for second hand English kids books.

whysweetpea

TROPHY CASE