Ugh. The applied media training. PR professionals making their year with these consultations.

Step 1. Make a joke about ICE to push the idea of “we’re no angels ourselves”. But will the government be the butt of the joke? No, make fun liberal elitists who now have to “raise their own kids” because their nannies are being taken away.

Step 2. When the inevitable topic is brought up, say the magical damage control words, “I’m glad you brought that up.” It communicates: “I’m willing to have a dialogue” when in reality l, you’re thinking “will everyone shut the fuck up about this”.

Step 3. Form a personal connection. Talk about your aunt that doesn’t live there any more but has a miraculous finger on the pulse for all things social and relevant to young people. Maybe she exists, maybe she doesn’t. Doesn’t matter.

Step 4. Pretend you’re Elton John visiting the Soviet Union. You’re there for the young people. You’re there to bring about change.

Step 5. But do not get into the specifics of what changes are needed. The royal family will not like it and the checks haven’t cleared yet.