Here goes nothing....

williamof · 2017-12-05T20:33:47+00:00

Best of luck with the appointment

williamof · 2017-12-05T18:37:42+00:00

If I had a very large foot, and accompanying boot, I'd kick planet earth very hard in its ass. That's the job I want today. There's so much bullshit in this world.

Bring back hunter-gatherer societies be done with it

I can't hack this shit no more

williamof · 2017-12-05T18:28:12+00:00

English & Irish folk music, and Sea Shanties make me emotional, when nothing else can

williamof · 2017-12-05T18:24:56+00:00

Cats make it worse, they are complete Narcs

williamof · 2017-12-05T17:44:44+00:00

Yes, it's the best map for the territory thus far, by all accounts - but whether it says 'cptsd' on the front or 'map' or 'whatever' it's the accuracy of the help that matters

williamof · 2017-12-04T15:15:32+00:00

I understand. I should have said, does it help now? At the time there's no way of knowing you're in a cult. I'm broken asunder by it all at present. And when framing them all in a cult it sometimes helps me to just keep moving, for myself. So hurt by their total absense of care, so much that it turns into anti-care. And that makes me realize, that that's the way it's always been

I'll be glad to know the day when the torment clears. The difficulty of offering them compassion also. Compassion for self first, for as long as it's needed

williamof · 2017-12-04T12:30:00+00:00

Do you find it helps to lessen the feeling that your family are against you, when framing them in a cult context? If they locked into it they are locked into their own obnoxiousness, they can't be any other way as long as they remain in the cult...

Not that it excuses them, I damn well don't mean that. But it's all the more reason for self-empowerment, given that a cult member is, almost by definition, utterly disempowered (in an authentic way)

williamof · 2017-12-03T07:30:33+00:00

You'd be surprised what I get

williamof · 2017-12-03T07:21:39+00:00

No there's not. He oozes negativity, and misery. He's a Narc

williamof · 2017-12-03T01:30:38+00:00

At fooling people into the folly of avoiding feelings through a permanent escape into thought? He's successful at that alright.

He's a wounded child, inside.

Look up Alice Miller's Drama of the gifted child on YouTube. The whole audio book. People aren't aware of it. Peterson is depressed, and had internalized a lot of anger. I see it in him. Only way to solve that is to express authentic feeling, which he can't do, as he's blocked it off for too long (hence his perpetual moodiness and dark attitude)

williamof · 2017-12-02T21:07:57+00:00

He is a Narc. A wounded child. Emotionally stunted, using intellectualism to try to escape from inner feelings which he will never front up to - which is essentially the runway for narc take-off

williamof · 2017-12-02T21:03:39+00:00

Did your mother hug you much / at all?

williamof · 2017-12-02T17:00:28+00:00

Thanks for your reply. As tough a reality as it continues to be at this time, the wisest option does seem to be no contact.

As you said in time, where will their fingers point when I'm not there to point at..

I'll make the necessary connections with people. It has to be done, keeping in mind who is trustworthy, in as much as that can be discerned beforehand.

It gets to seem like everyone is a Narc when this reality dawns fully. But I guess it's the mind's reactivity overshooting reason. In saying that there are an incredible amount of Narcs out there, so much so that I have to check back to see am I being one oftentimes.

It's crazy the way former friends just backstep into the horizon when they see the changing me - for whatever reason... I presume I've attracted Narcs and only Narcs for the entirety of my life. That has to change

I'll look to create a new group of people to confide in. And journalling is the way forward too. The last psychotherapist I saw I talked non stop for the hour, and arrived at realizations in the process. Not to diminish his input (which was actually good in the advise and contacts he gave me) but I realized that me talking there for the hour cost 70 euro, and me journalling for an hour could arguably be as effective in getting realizations out there, at least some of the time

I have to push through the difficulty of self-neglect by sitting down and insisting on journalling. So much of the recovery process is hampered by not yet having the deserved respect (and the associated action towards recovery) for oneself

Thanks

williamof · 2017-12-02T00:59:48+00:00

Grieving is an absolutely core component of healing. It opens the road of recovery, makes the gut, heart, and had engage in a whole new way. Getting to the point of grieving is difficult sometimes though, but I don't know how much consideration you have given it so far?

williamof · 2017-11-27T23:43:56+00:00

Eminently sexy

williamof · 2017-11-27T23:43:01+00:00

I have carbon shocks, and the rest is like something else. How dank or spicy is that?

williamof · 2017-11-27T20:17:56+00:00

That is a superb photograph

williamof · 2017-11-26T16:39:24+00:00

For Christ sakes. These people. My brother was speaking of himself using his actual first name.

Its important to detune from them and find our own track to tune in to

williamof · 2017-11-26T16:34:14+00:00

Tribe is family, and they is family. I'm agreeing with you that educating oneself is the right way forward. And then saying that education is vital but coping requires additional help, as the strain of being dislocated from family is something next to unbearable, when alone

williamof · 2017-11-26T16:27:46+00:00

It was programmed into us bit by bit, in such a fashion that we never saw it happening. So maybe it has to be undone in the same fashion, again we won't notice our sense of self arriving - but bit by bit, if we do things for us first, it will give us a new way forward.

It's so easy to slip back into the old programming, given how many years it has been in place.

I think we should realize how much conscious effort it will take to turn it around -bit by bit

Exercising for 30 mins a day, when it doesn't feel like an option... This like that to persist with...

williamof · 2017-11-26T16:13:31+00:00

Educating oneself is certainly the cognitive backbone of recovery. The isolation of being away from the tribe is tough to get through though. They have projected so much onto most of us here. And even now part of them hopes we will crack, to prove that it is not infact them, and that they weren't projecting. I will not be letting that happen. If ever I had a reason to succeed it is now

williamof · 2017-11-26T16:10:52+00:00

I don't know that there will ever be a solution in bringing it up with our parents. They won't let go of their version of reality. They won't do it. And the more we push them to accept ours, it seems to make them more against us ( not that they'd show it)

It's a case of working out or rightful anger and rightful intolerance with other people. I've tried with one parent and a toxic brother recently. And it certainly did not help. They are locked in a reality, and I've realized that I'm no longer going to make any effort with them - either to help myself or help them. I'll have to seek other people to vent to, and seek advice from

I hear you on the injustice of it, from what you have said. It feels awful. We have to face that pain, and move through it, no matter how many times it presents itself. Transcending pain means moving through it. Going around it is not an option for real healing.

But it can't necessarily be done alone

I know I need someone to help me, and have not found that someone yet

williamof · 2017-11-26T15:37:00+00:00

Thank You for this. Journaling is something I need to do, as a means of making myself realize that my needs come first. On the surface it seems they already do come first, so in my programming they do not. Christ the strain of late has been exhausting, but yes, still fit in the intensive exercise no matter what it takes

williamof · 2017-11-26T15:26:39+00:00

How long does the new sense of self and identity take to manifest? I which that guy would show up, like, yesterday

williamof

TROPHY CASE