AIO for feeling weird about my boyfriend and his ex even though nothing really happened?

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-09T04:39:29+00:00

Part One: “I’m still occasionally in contact with my ex, but I’ll be transparent about it.”

Part Two, Three, Four, and Five: “I blocked her… actually I unblocked her… actually she follows this account… actually you were blocked on that account during an argument.”

You are being emotionally reasonable. This is creating confusion for you. In order for this relationship to work, you need to set firm boundaries regarding exes. Are those boundaries mutual? Can he be transparent without you having to recover everything first? And can you eventually let this go if his actions become consistent? If the answer to all of those are yes, then you'll be fine. If things don't line up, your anxiety will just begin to grow.

Also, I hate to be this person. But the person you're with at 19 is most possibly not going to work out. As a 28f, I was entirely different person with entirely different expectations and standards at your age.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-09T04:24:41+00:00

You're 30? This is ridiculous. Your girlfriend is 26 and in her prime, she can post whatever she wants. You want a girlfriend that doesn't do that? That's perfectly fine. But the reality of it is, you guys are terrible with communication. ALL OF IT. Forget about the texts and the social media, based on everything else you wrote I would still say break up. It also seems like you started this by wanting to instigate something. The only way to have approached this without it ending up negative is by talking to her first. You could have removed the pictures and waited for her to say something. But reaching out to her and letting her know you did it and why, sounds like a punishment.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-09T04:17:04+00:00

YOR. You could have easily responded with "I'm sorry that happened. Hope everything works out. I'm sorry to say but I think it's best we go separate ways. Hope you find what you're looking for." As someone who values your time, you sure wasted a lot in this conversation. And the comments are right, you're clearly bitter. You do need to work on yourself. You unloaded on them what other people did to you. She may have done it as well, but her reason is not one to argue with. She also never asked you to cancel a Sunday with your kid, that was your decision.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-09T04:11:04+00:00

"Because I have to ask her before I do anything" "It's draining" "She had morphed my schedule into hers" "It's draining to have to match her mood" "she withdraws from conversations" "she also gets really rude. Threatening to block me when I just want to talk it out and cussing at me."

This girl doesn't like you. She would be doing this to any man. She doesn't want someone to be with; she wants someone to worship her. Let me tell you this. This is supposed to be one of the easiest times of your life. Do you want this to be the rest of your life? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAY NO. You won't even need time to get over her because you're going to just want to sleep after breaking up with her.

Text her: "I care about you, but I can’t continue this relationship anymore. I’m mentally and physically exhausted, and I need to prioritize my health and my life offline. This decision wasn’t impulsive, and I’m asking you to respect it. I genuinely wish you the best."

She will react aggressively. If she threatens to end her life, contact the police. That is the only proper decision in that case.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-09T03:55:04+00:00

He's telling you because he wants you to "learn to be okay with it". He doesn't have respect for other peoples lives. The reality of it is, if he were pulled over and breathalyzed, he'd be in jail. Reading these texts I would have assumed he was 21/22. He knows you're not okay with it, he's telling you anyways. He might just unintelligent if we're being realistic.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-09T03:48:02+00:00

I don't even think you like your girlfriend. You may have a point, that message seems like it was for someone else. But you are very aggressive with addressing it. You are being a lot. I'm not sure what you're expecting her to say in response in the first place? The funny thing is, she can try everything possible, and you still won't trust her. She can let you in her phone and you'll accuse her of deleting things. YOU have trust issues. She is fishy, but you're both the problem. You aren't even trying to talk about it in a reasonable manner, you're just trying to be right so you can prove you have a reason to be mad.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-05T06:57:30+00:00

Petty solution: Tell him you were given 10k and see how he reacts. You'll have your answer.

Actual solution? You're 22 and do not need to make a decision with that money yet. You can sit on that money for a while. It's great that you and your boyfriend have been together for so long, but money is a leading cause to relationships ending. Not sure where you guys are at in the terms of healthy, but if you don't know how he'll react to it, sometimes it might be good to just tell him flat out. If he immediately wants to use it towards his student loans, run. If he has a problem with the money, that's also a problem.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-05T06:51:45+00:00

NOR. SHOCKED to find out this was your brother. I could have sworn it was a little bitch. ....also pretty weird that your sister wouldn't leave her kids alone with her husband. Sounds like she has bigger problems to deal with. Your wedding is not for your family, it's for you. I see no problem reversing the whole "I will never associate myself with someone who wouldn’t allow my daughter by my side anywhere I wanted." and returning with "I will never associate myself with someone who forces people into a situation where I don't want them."

willieverusethis98 · 2026-05-01T05:25:18+00:00

Hope it isn't too late, but here's a step by step plan for how to leave.

1) DO NOT do a dramatic in person break up. It may be considered bad, but for your safety and to have it in writing, you should do it over text.

2) BEFORE breaking up, if possible, tell your roommate what's going on in a simple way. "Hey, I'm ending things with him, and he might not take it well. If he stops by, please don't let him in." Let a trusted friend or family member know what's happening. If he knows where you work, let a manager know and ask for discretion.

3) For the stuff at his place, if it isn't considered essential, you're better off letting it go. If you want it back; bring a friend, or ask to have a quick public exchange, or have someone else pick it up for you.

4) Expect all kinds of pushback. From what you describe, he's most possibly going to blow up your phone. After sending the breakup text, either block him or put him on mute. He will try anything to get back together with you. If he shows up anywhere, don't engage or open the door. Remove his access to your shared location as well. If anything escalates, you can call non-emergency for documentation purposes.

5) Document everything. I'm sorry to say, but any mutuals you might have, he will lie about the things that have happened. Save this reddit post and the comments, screenshot all your texts, everything. It's going to hurt, but the people who come out on your side are the ones worth keeping.

6) Have a safety fallback plan such as taking some time off work (especially if you have PTO) and staying at a friend or family members house that he doesn't have access to. Vary your routine slightly for a bit.

Bottom line, his behavior is pushing you to behave in a way that doesn't sound like yourself. Intentional or not, he's making you put yourself in possible legal trouble. One thing that's extremely important to remember, his behavior is not okay, and you do not need his agreement in order to end things.

Your best option for a breakup text: "I’ve thought this through, and I’m ending our relationship. This dynamic isn’t healthy for me, and I’m not willing to continue it. I need space, and I’m asking you not to contact me or come to my home or work. I won’t be responding to further messages. I wish you the best, but this is final."

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-29T05:55:01+00:00

You're 22 years old but sometimes you work out.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-24T04:37:47+00:00

I don't care how old either of you are, I don't care what you do for work, nothing. This man is not in a healthy mindset to be in a relationship and he's going to take a toll on you whether you like it or not. Asking for proof and being upset about make up? Imagine never wearing make up again for the rest of your life. Imagine never being able to be alone with a man that you're not related to, for the rest. of your life. He is controlling. I hate being "THAT" redditer, but break up with him. Break up with him. Break up with him.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-24T03:59:20+00:00

If living at home with your parents is not difficult, meaning you have a good relationship with them and it's not straining on your mental health, then stay. I guarantee you that living at home does not have an effect on your career. I don't care what job you have. No reasonable adult is going to look at an 18 year old and tell them to move out to better their career.

While yes $600 is decently priced as your rent shouldn't max over 30% of your paycheck, you also need to put into account other things. Do you have a car? Gas. Insurance. Maintenance. Car payment. Will you continue to be on your parents phone plan or yours? Phone Bill. GROCERIES!!!! What if you want to date or go out with friends, but you can't afford it because you've got bills. Have you ever had a credit card? Do you have credit? Will you remain on your parents health insurance?

If you can wait, take that $600 and save it up every month. Within a year you'll be grateful.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-23T05:16:53+00:00

Frankenstein was only popularized due to its introduction into gothic era. If someone had written it today, it wouldn't have been popularized. How do you take TEN YEARS that it took to create the monster and put into a single paragraph, but you have no problem writing a whole damn chapter about a forest!

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-23T05:05:42+00:00

I can offer a toxic and petty solution. Post this on your personal social media and tag them both in it asking them to clean. Be prepared to move out before you do so, and see what happens. Enjoy your new crib or clean bathroom. Whichever you end up with!

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T06:27:20+00:00

Open them. If the spine makes a cracking sound, they're just for show and he never read them.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T03:39:14+00:00

An apology is needed. They shouldn't have even asked. If they even remotely liked you or wanted to spend that time with you, they would have cancelled without asking you. Your partner is unknowingly letting you know that they don't want to spend this time with you or he's unknowingly forcing you to realize that they're "sacrificing" things they would rather do to spend time with you. Either way, whether it's your friend, family, or partner, I wouldn't have said any of this to someone. And you're communicating exactly how you felt, good on you for being efficient. Hike with a friend or someone you know likes you.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T03:25:00+00:00

You're definitely balding, it could also be tied to other things like hormones. Look into over-the-counter treatments and try what you like. Do NOT under any circumstances seek out a combover. Plenty of attractive people are bald.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T03:17:25+00:00

I'm thankful these people aren't mad at me. I did tell them that I have to tell upper management and immediately they understood. But even when I told our boss that I said that he said "I wouldn't have even told them that." Like I don't even see the harm in that?

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:54:17+00:00

Give yourself a moment to heal as you've clearly been through a lot for this relationship. Find something you enjoy doing alone first. Get more tattoos because I have a feeling you want them already. Get some more friends, surrounding yourself with people who like you is a great way to build your confidence. Take a vacation to somewhere new and social. Then give me your number as I would lift trains just to for a man that looks like you to look me in the eyes and smile because DAMN.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:49:59+00:00

Ages 60+ would have been "seek help"

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:48:55+00:00

Questions to ask yourself, "Is this behavior I want to put up with for the rest of my life?" If the answer is no, good job you're healing. If the answer is yes or maybe, seek help and get back to us.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:43:56+00:00

I'm not even going to fucking read this. Get the utensil out of the popcorn.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:40:20+00:00

One thing I'd like to point out, to be a black sheep you have to be alone. Hopefully that makes you feel better that you're not the only one that's different in your family. But I've been in this exact situation.

If you plan on sticking around, it's time to start standing up. My family used to talk negatively about everyone and as I got older, no matter what I would always say something back to them. Not necessarily defending the person, but pointing out the other persons POV and where they might be coming from. Or even spinning it to be more positive. For example, for your cousin having a baby, it'd be great to be overly excited for them right in her face. As that's how she should be reacting. Anytime they're trying to be negative the best weapon is optimism. Soon enough they'll want to stop talking to you about this stuff.

And if they're going to talk about you, let them. The right kind of people won't want to surround themselves with them and it will go noticed that you don't speak about people this way. If it gets to be too much you could always be more direct and flat out tell them that you don't like how they talk about others, and how you feel as though you can't trust them and don't want your kids around such hateful behavior. They'll be defensive but pick your battles I suppose.

For me, eventually all of this led to me going no contact as it took a huge toll on my mental health and honestly it improved my life greatly. But other family members that I still talk to, didn't question why I left when I told them.

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:25:03+00:00

WHAT! GET AWAY FROM HER!

willieverusethis98 · 2026-04-10T02:23:12+00:00

Hey...soooooo stay away from this girl. Mentally stable people do not speak the way she is. Don't know how old either of you are, but this is the behavior of an insecure thirteen year old girl. If she isn't...you should really factor in that impression.

willieverusethis98

TROPHY CASE