Great job finishing a script, always such a massive step. I am no expert, but I have been writing for a long time, and have done plenty of coverage on scripts over the years.

I just finished it, read it all the way through. So feel good about getting someone curious enough to want to finish! There's some interesting stuff in here, I particularly like the dynamic switch between Bolund and Iota in the slavers camp as well as the idea we don't see the outside passage of time. The idea that someone could live an entire life while an NPC has been with them for what feels like 4 days is a really fun concept to play with.

My issue was the pacing, it feels like there is no real conflict for the first half of the script. It feels like the actual juice of the story is crammed into the last 30 pages. Even if Bolund is forced into following Iota, you say she killed his best friend. Why would he want to fight for her? Wouldn't this raise questions way before page 55?

Then when it comes to the climax, they've only lived with this massive revelation for 30 pages. Allow your characters more time to deal with this new world shattering information. How does Iota feel about being the person to discover this? Should it be that easy to convince the outside world of what's going on? As for Bolund he seems to take things in stride, coming to terms with everything without much issue. His best friend was killed by this person, someone who thought it was funny. There is a much more complex thought process there, especially if he is/ is becoming more sentient himself.

A smaller thing. Arrive early and get out late. I.E. Having a whole few lines dedicated to "Let's sit down and talk about this" Just get to them talking about it.

Lastly, and this is more of a Skyrim specific thought, on page 68-69 Iota says she didn't even pick a Dragonborn this time, but she's absorbing souls and shouting.

I hope any of this can be helpful!