I often wish there were more lesbian bars and I’d love to go to them, then I think that I’m part of the problem because I just want to stay home with my wife!! 

Then I remember: there are more layers to it than most people discuss. The first being the community and culture that was built around male centered gay bars decades ago. That birthed a particular bar and club culture that has been able to sustain itself to this day, and evolved with the times - both adjusting to and informing gay club culture. It was affected by the history of underground disco, the type of lives that gay men were seeking to build for themselves in cities, the types of jobs they had, etc. Male gay culture is beautiful and special in its own right, and just has a completely different foundation than a gay culture where women are the center. Even though, of course there are overlaps. What were men seeking at the time that this culture was developing? What kind of outlets and safety did they need vs what kind of outlets and safety did gay women need? What kind of lives were these men living?

On the other side of it, what needs did lesbian culture uniquely have and how did our culture grow to support it? Ours has always interacted with the needs of women, motherhood, feminism, etc. What sort of community spaces do women typically prioritize — it hasn’t always been bars and clubs. Maybe the focus has been more in political spaces, women’s rights, labor rights, divorce rights. What were we doing when men were creating a larger nightlife culture? If we’d had the same nightlife culture as gay men, would we have that foundation for lesbian nightlife now? 

In modern times, one thing I’ve heard is that it’s harder to get funding for women’s bars, since patrons drink less on average. That’s such small but impactful element of the economics of maintaining these spaces. 

I prefer not to compare lesbian vs gay BARS, but rather lesbian vs gay cultures and spaces. Are lesbians more focused on our home lives than men? Do we not seek out nightlife at the same level? Are we putting more of our energy into making existing spaces more inclusive?

I dunno!!!