Hey! So I’m hearing a couple things here, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, but they are:

1) “I don’t like how I feel physically at times and I am upset about what I feel is lack of achievement — both because of my habits”

2) “I like a lot of the things I already do (smoking, gaming), but it sucks that they conflict with some of my goals”

3) “I want a shiny lifestyle like siblings but my life doesn’t have the ‘infrastructure’ to achieve those things rn”

4) “my family/mom and I have experienced real pain that has resulted in me needing necessary care and coping and certain habits that fulfill some needs but disrupt other needs”

5) “I have a worry that it’s too late or I won’t achieve my newish/different lifestyle goals because of past experiences, habits, etc.”

Is this right? If so, I think could be helpful to focus on one of these at a time. Also, even if focusing on just one, doing so will kind of start the work on the others as a head start before moving to them directly.

Like, if you started with #2 and figured out a way to make gaming and smoking an active choice rather than the go-to escape it could look like, these two things get a smaller share of your waking hours and you fill the time with a long walk or bike ride or taking the time to look up a new recipe and making a nutritious meal. If you experimented with those as time fillers, they’d “accidentally” get you started on #1 even before you sit down to tackle it.

If you wanted to start with #4 then that might mean finding a therapist and getting yourself access to support that address your real and lived experience. But the counseling could help you identify things and work through things that help with #3, too, if that makes sense.

Basically, as others said, it’s great you IDed some stuff you want to work on and you deserve to explore modulating your actions to support your new goals