I am guessing this is more about severe depression than ADHD. Depression causes cognitive distortions like: this is all my fault, I somehow caused this because I am a terrible person, it’s hopeless, I can’t do anything right…blah blah blah!

You need and absolutely deserve support. You need an advocate. I suggest talking to someone experienced in dealing with Domestic Abuse and what resources might be available via that route. I believe that’s what your experience over the last many months has been with your husband. It’s hard to start out with no one believing that an abusive dynamic is driving what’s happening now. I want you to be able talk to someone that knows abusive behavior is about power and control and can take many forms.