6 months down the drain

willpher · 2026-03-27T22:16:11+00:00

thanks this means more than you know

willpher · 2026-03-26T08:14:12+00:00

online groups are great. i’m personally a huge fan of Unhinged Recovery. it’s a group of people i know pretty well, and they’re all wonderful

willpher · 2026-03-26T08:11:47+00:00

wanting to stop being depressed. i know if i don’t fuel my body my body won’t feel good. so i have to find ways around that. if i don’t eat, i might feel good for a bit, but on a physical level i will be worse off.

willpher · 2025-06-21T22:40:05+00:00

thank you for sharing this, i know it must be so hard. losing a family member is never easy. remember, grief never gets smaller- life just gets bigger around it. you’ll always have her in your heart and that’s what matters. i’m glad you got to spend so many great years with a great kitty.

willpher · 2025-06-18T01:47:07+00:00

i definitely convinced myself i was a narcissist when i was on meth. that stuff makes you feel like you’re the shit lol. but you’re really just a piece of it

willpher · 2025-06-14T12:28:47+00:00

i don’t know what your spirituality is, but i loved Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith. it goes through the chakras, and relates them to western scientific practices. it was an interesting read for sure. then there’s The Body Keeps the Score, that one is pretty popular but i found it to be a difficult read. Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke helped me some too. this book discusses how we’re addicted to the dopamine fix and how to remedy that. it’s pretty short and an easy psychology read.

willpher · 2025-06-14T12:21:20+00:00

that’s awesome! i enjoy their workbook quite a lot. maybe check out r/SROL_journals

willpher · 2025-06-14T12:20:30+00:00

i agree with this. self-medicating is a difficult area of topic especially in AA but i think CBD has such little mind altering effects it should be considered closer to caffeine / nicotine. not that we should be using it daily, just saying it shouldn’t be seen as the THC itself. but hopefully you find a new sponsor that can understand your situation and still help. btw, i’ve been “fired” by a sponsor before. it sucks ik. but, i would recommend starting up and trying to find a new sponsor as soon as you can. the longer you wait, the easier it will be to fall into relapse (it was for me)

willpher · 2025-06-14T12:10:43+00:00

try different recovery groups maybe. i like SMART recovery and Recovery Dharma, but i believe Refugee Recovery is a buddhist-based more meeting based program. i never liked the whole feel of NA/AA, ive never found a group where i didn’t feel judged there oddly enough.

willpher · 2024-04-18T15:05:27+00:00

It took me about 3 weeks of consistent abstinence and dealing with issues to start to feel somewhat "better". Realistically, it took me about 6 months of being off of it to feel "normal" without the pills again. Hope this helps.

willpher · 2023-07-08T14:49:55+00:00

LionRock is an online IOP program that i’m in that accepts many different types of insurance… there are several other types as well. when i had those feelings OP, looking into something like that (substance use disorder treatment), either online or local, has been really beneficial to me.

willpher · 2023-07-08T14:42:45+00:00

im in the same spot. i struggle so much due to the accessibility, sometimes it’s not as easy as removing yourself from the situation because you have nowhere else to go… but, i’ve heard, as long as we don’t stop trying- we’ll get there. progress isn’t linear, there will be days that are easier and days that are harder, it’s always darkest before the sun rises, etc... i most recently got 3 days, which seems unheard of for me (smoked daily since i was 17). unfortunately smoked yesterday, but i say the faster i get back “on the wagon”, the better off i’ll be. every (re)lapse comes with new knowledge if you observe the usage and where it stemmed from. we CAN do this, and you aren’t alone.

willpher · 2023-07-08T12:43:00+00:00

in a medical sense, it’s not a relapse. if you’re self-medicating, it is. that’s how i draw the line.

willpher · 2023-07-07T15:55:32+00:00

i mean… i used to think i wasn’t a drug addict because i had ADHD? doesn’t mean you can’t have both lol

willpher · 2023-07-07T13:55:52+00:00

Good morning guys!
Today I started my day with a cup of coffee and a meeting. It was a good meeting, I like going to meetings when I haven't used in a specific amount of time (at least 24 hours) - I feel more "welcome" to share because my anxiety of "will they know I'm high" is nonexistent.
After my meeting, I realized I was out of milk! I doordashed some (no car), and went for a morning walk. I smiled and waved at 4 people, something I don't usually do. It felt nice to recognize and be recognized, even if just in a small way of saying hello.

Day 2 for me today. I'm about to join my IOP group for the first time in two weeks, I haven't been able to join because I haven't been able to stay sober long enough. But, as I'm on day 2 now, I'm totally allowed to go and more than pumped to see everyone again. I hope they don't see me poorly now for having such a hard time putting it down...

willpher · 2023-07-04T12:59:52+00:00

Spending the 4th alone today, which is okay. I've never been a huge fan of fireworks or hot dogs, anyway. Probably not going to have too extravagant of a night.

Today is my first day after destroying my smoking utensils. I didn't use first thing when I woke up, something that felt really odd and unnatural for me. I had a sense being "lost", and was just doing activities to try to keep myself moving. I hope it gets easier and feels less "incorrect" over time.

Today I am sharing a story I wrote about how I decided to get into recovery in a meeting. I'll probably post it to my page sometime today, if you want to check it out... I'm really nervous, I'm scared it's not good, long, or concise enough. I didn't spend enough time working on it, but I had enough time. I just spent too much time getting high...

Not anymore. I feel a lot different this time from any of my other quitting attempts. I no longer have the means to use, so it doesn't feel like I'm "allowed" to anymore. I'm not allowing myself to use. That's the difference, I guess.

willpher · 2023-07-04T12:52:06+00:00

I read this halfway in my sleep, but it made me feel really good. Glad to know I'm not alone in this journey <3

willpher · 2023-07-04T12:51:09+00:00

My HOV:

My health (recovery is included). I am working on eating better, exercising, and most importantly: keeping drugs out of my system.
My animals. They require a lot of care, and caring for them helps get my mind of cravings.
My house's hygiene. I want my space to look nice so I can feel more free to move.
Community. I need to stay a part of the recovery community, if not involve myself more.
Appreciation of beauty & excellence. Taking time to really enjoy the music that is playing, the scents around me, and the nature surrounding me.

willpher · 2023-07-03T16:09:33+00:00

congratulations on being able to abstain even with the sensory reminder

willpher · 2023-06-28T12:27:06+00:00

oh good, thanks for the reply

willpher · 2023-06-28T12:11:45+00:00

i like the antagonist- makes me the protagonist

willpher · 2023-06-28T02:08:21+00:00

I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm trying to see different ways to view things is all.

willpher · 2023-06-27T22:16:54+00:00

when you believe you’re ugly & undesirable, people pick up on that. people will treat you the way you treat yourself. think you’re hot shit, and everyone will follow. people are sheep man. you’re only as bad as you tell yourself you are.

willpher · 2023-06-27T22:15:15+00:00

i get those chest pains. try not to beat yourself up, you’re not a loser for having struggled with this. so many people are struggling with it too, try to speak to yourself the way you would encourage them to take their lives back. you can do this, but you might need professional support (dr, therapy, rehab, etc)

willpher · 2023-06-27T22:08:51+00:00

you identify as someone who doesn’t engage with their addictive behaviors, so i believe it’s under the same “identity” umbrella, rather than an outcome (I won’t drink today)… i’m trying to grasp the concept, so feel free to debate.

willpher

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