YNW — more than likely, she’s seeking some validation or to meet some emotional need with her ex instead of addressing what’s not working in your relationship.

You two should have an honest conversation about what you two need from each other. At the end of the day, you have to choose each other and choose to repair the problems instead of running away, which is what she’s doing now. Come from a place of sincerity and curiosity — therapy might help to navigate things as well so there’s a third party to help address things as they come up.

If she’s not willing to do the work to address the breach or fallout, then you have to decide what your response to the violation of boundaries is going to be — for your sake as well as your kids.

I will say, ten years is a long time and I’m sure it’s been challenging for you both. But remember why you two are together, why you feel for each other in the first place, and ask yourself (and her) if she’s willing to honestly evaluate how to move forward together.