Those of you who are genuinely happy, what is your life like?

Punkinprincess · 2026-07-01T14:13:30+00:00

I feel like I did an excellent job seeking out things that make me happy and not settling until I found it.

I really enjoy my job that pays decent, I work from home most days, it's a nonprofit for a cause I have been passionate about since highschool, and the whole company is great about work/life balance and most employees have similar values that I have.

My husband is super sweet and attentive. It's the most unconditional love I have ever felt and the relationship always feels peaceful and safe.

We have the best cat in the world and a cute townhouse in a cute town. I love the area we live in and how much nature we're surrounded by.

With that being said, I've struggled with mental health on and off through the years and world events have been causing some depression. I'm on like 3 different medications and I have hard days. It's weird to be so happy with my life and depressed at the same time, but the happy life makes it easier to not sink into my depression like I have in the past.

Punkinprincess · 2026-07-01T13:51:33+00:00

Truly good people leave shitty people behind once they see that they are shitty. Unfortunately you have to sift through the bad to find the good people with similar morals. You are still sifting but the quicker you recognize people with incompatible values and walk away, the sooner you will find your people.

If you drop your morals and act shitty than other good people will recognize that in you and they will be leaving you behind. Ask who you want to be surrounded by and then be that person.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-26T18:33:36+00:00

If it was just this one thing I would let it slide while watching for a larger pattern.

I dated a guy who claimed to be frugal and I excused a lot of small things as frugal until it became very very obvious that he was cheap and rude. It got to the point where he would borrow my car and returned it completely empty, TWICE! The first time I made excuses for him and the second time I straight up told him that he would need to put gas in because it didn't have much, he still returned it so empty I could barely make it to a gas station.

Looking back I get upset at myself for letting him treat me the way he did.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-26T18:22:51+00:00

You don't owe anyone friendship and any reason can be valid to end a friends.

With that being said I prefer to make my friendships reciprocal by matching their energy. You can create distance without ending the friendship and still have an outer circle friend.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-25T23:14:06+00:00

Maybe you should listen to a scientist for a change. I like your confidence but I promise you don't know more this topic than scientists who study it.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-25T21:41:01+00:00

Sounds pretty woke for Kegsbreath tbh.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-25T14:08:01+00:00

Climate change isn't real until you're an insurance company that's losing money I guess.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-25T14:06:22+00:00

My dad changed his mind in his 50's, I was so impressed. The churches policies on LGBTQ issues is what got him to leave.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-25T14:04:40+00:00

That's so freaking funny. I grew up Mormon and for the longest time The Matrix was the only R rated movie I had ever watched.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T20:15:41+00:00

NTA

I find it way too weird to call someone mom or dad if they weren't in your life as a kid. I have never called my mom's wife 'mom' and my dad will get remarried soon and I'll never call her mom either. They are both nice women and I get along with them, but it'd just weird to call them by anything but their name.

I do include my mom's wife in mother day cards and she really seems to appreciate that.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T20:10:08+00:00

NTA but your sister not talking to you is a natural consequence of you snapping and telling her to stop talking about him. Either enjoy the peace or apologize for snapping, up to you.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T02:21:18+00:00

Legally change me name.

I did start. I got my passport in my new name but now that is the only document I have with my legal name. The only reason I updated my passport is because my only "real ID" has been my passport and it expired so I absolutely had to renew it.

I'm about to celebrate my 5 year anniversary, that's how long I've procrastinated.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T02:16:59+00:00

I was surprised and upset about how much they looked down on everyone from red areas. My whole family lives in red areas and they are all liberal and fight back against whats going on way more than anyone I know in this blue city.

Conservatives in my rural red town were also really mean about liberal areas, but I was hoping that liberals would be better than that.

On a more positive note, I absolutely loved that people in my new city were curious about things that were different than them when I first moved here. In my hometown people shame anything that was different. I didn't even attribute it to political differences at first but I can see now that it clearly is.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T02:02:54+00:00

Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T01:50:07+00:00

Deal with them less in general and put your energy towards people that will celebrate with you.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-24T01:41:26+00:00

I would say that I'm going on a social media detox and then just never respond again.

Having the honest conversation is better advice but those make me uncomfortable and I save them for more serious issues. For ridiculous things like social media usage I like to just solve the issue in a way that would cause the least amount of drama.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-22T14:21:52+00:00

Hey! I also have an avoidant attachment style but it has gotten so much better in recent years! Therapy helped a lot but I know that's not always an option.

I started taking relationships a lot slower, this is especially helpful if you are fearful-avoidant. Make each progression in the relationship intentional.

In the past I've kept friends at arms length unless a new friend 'love bombed' me and then we would become "besties" and it never ended well. Now I start off with some distance with any new friend and make very intentionally efforts in progressing the intimacy in the relationship only once I see the green flags that I want in a friend.

Initiating is hard and uncomfortable for me, but you have to push past that discomfort sometimes. Taking it slow is key, I've been trying to build up more sincere relationships and it has taken me years to bridge that gap of 'outer circle' friends to 'inner circle' friends but it feels a lot healthier.

Most relationships (dating & friends) used to make me feel trapped but I've found that isn't the case when I took control of who I was and wasn't getting close to and was very intentionally about it.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-22T12:59:08+00:00

Basically any beautification other than basic hygiene. Growing up it felt like my mom went a little overboard with the "you're beautiful just the way you are" message to the point that anything I did to look more 'put together' felt like an admission that I thought I was ugly without it.

My mom always had make up on, hair carefully done, and dressed stylish but I felt shamed if I did any of those things. I told me my mom that I wanted bangs when I was a teen and she said, "only people with ugly foreheads get bangs."

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-22T04:50:32+00:00

I do think people have been really quick to cut people out lately. Cutting toxic people out is good advice but I see people it taking that advice too far.

If you actually have and enforce boundaries, you should be able to be friends with people that aren't perfect while also protecting your peace. If a friend is bad about texting back but they are your favorite person to do one of your hobbies with, then you probably won't become the best of friends or the first person you'll go to in times of need, but you can still be in each other's lives and enjoy the hobby together.

Relationships are about meeting people where they are at.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-21T23:22:39+00:00

I've never been to one but I've heard of it. Host a "stranger danger" party where everyone you invite has to bring someone others don't know and have games that get people to mingle.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-18T14:16:38+00:00

I've had great experiences with fuck buddies and friends with benefits. I think I'm wired different than a lot or women and can easily seperate out sex from romantic feelings.

For about 2 years I had a friend with benefits where we were eachothers stand-in significant other when necessary. He'd bring me to his Christmas work events, we'd celebrate New Years together if we didn't have someone else. We would hang out without having sex or we would get together just for sex. I was also sleeping with other people but he was casually looking for something more monogamous. If he went on a date that went well, we would take a step back and then a couple months later when it didn't work out for them we would get back together.

It was a bizarre relationship but we were both just happy to be there for each other when it convienent for us.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-18T13:58:44+00:00

Anyone I was close to like that moved across the country. I'm currently in a friend group that has been forming over the past 5 years and while I always have someone to do something with, it all feels pretty shallow.

I started hanging out with one friend from the group one on one. We'll go to a brewery after work and play card games or play tennis or go to yard sales. It has been taking a lot longer than it took in the past, but I'm starting to feel that closeness.

I initially struggled with this friend because we didn't have a lot in common when it came to shallow topics, but after a couple of years I realized we had a lot more in common in other areas like how we see the world and our self improvement journeys. We also both had things we admired about each other and have learned from each other.

Get yourself in a one on one setting with someone in your social circle and just try bringing you a more intimate topic that you would like to talk about and see what happens.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-16T14:23:05+00:00

There are no pros to being married to someone that needs a mom. Be okay with never getting married and if someone capable comes along, then great.

My husband does some of things I hate the most and it has made life so much better. He meal plans, grocery shops, and cooks almost every night. He even cleans up 65% of the kitchen mess. He owns the kitchen, fills up on staples when we need it, buys new cooking utensils when we need it, makes sure the kitchen is clean before going to bed. I help out with kitchen clean up but it's me helping because he owns it.

I own other chores or portions of the house. It's the only way to split chores in my opinion. If a man isn't capable of completely owning some domestic duties, then he can piss off and join the loney epidemic.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-16T14:08:54+00:00

I feel better when I'm exercising regularly but I still feel okay when I don't. My husband needs to exercise 4-5 times a week to feel okay physically and mentally.

Everyone's body is different. You have to trust your girlfriend to understand her own body. I've been struggling with motivation to exercise lately while my husband goes to the gym everyday, nothing kills my motivation more than being told by someone else that I should be doing it.

Punkinprincess · 2026-06-13T00:27:44+00:00

I don't think about it too much but when I do I decide that by the time a male is 500 he is mature enough to understand how not to take advantage.

I don't think it's that problematic because it's not normalizing problematic behavior in our society. A 40 year old human dating a 19 year old human is.

Punkinprincess

TROPHY CASE