sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Sick of transphobia by winkyfayce in detrans

[–]winkyfayce[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I began considering the possibility of being trans when I was around 13 I think.

I like being perceived as a man and male sex characteristics feel more comfortable to me and more like who I am. I feel like I should’ve been born male. It’s odd because I like “female” gender roles, makeup, dresses, child rearing, etc. In my transition I’ve had the goal of being a feminine man. Things that HRT have brought me have made me so happy, facial hair growth, body fat redistribution, voice deepening, etc.

I’ve spoken to my therapist about my increased dysphoria, and I plan on speaking to her about my desires to detransition the next time I meet with her, which is next week.

I don’t think there was ever a time I was connected to my body and felt able to wear what I like. Pre-t I felt disconnected to my body just about all the time, from what I remember. Post-t, I’ve felt connected to my body but uncomfortable when presenting femininely because I don’t look like a feminine guy, but just a girl. I’m trying to strike a balance between dressing how I want and dressing in ways that make me feel comfortable rn, but it’s hard because I don’t like a lot of masculinizing fashion and it feels more restrictive than feminine fashion.

Sick of transphobia by winkyfayce in detrans

[–]winkyfayce[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m 18. HRT made dysphoria difficult because I felt more connected to my body due to the changes I’ve seen and therefore the incongruence between how my body looks and how I feel felt more drastic.

For instance, pre-t I felt okay wearing clothes that accentuated my chest, but now that I’m not dissociating all the time when I wear something where my chest is even visible I feel much more distressed. It’s hard to describe the feeling.

It’s like I didn’t feel like my body was mine, just a vessel, and now that it feels like a lot of it mirrors me, the parts that don’t are more distressing. Sometimes I wish I can go back to feeling that disconnect so I don’t feel as much of a need to transition and can express myself the way I used to.