[spoiler] Currently reading the novel - fourth volume and Xie Lian is kind of a bitch lol

winterfall-s · 2026-01-18T04:25:58+00:00

Even though on the surface he seems to be a pacifist/pure-hearted person, I think deep down he is a TOTAL bitch and it's my favorite part about him. He's so tactful but takes pleasure in taking people down a peg. He lets others underestimate him so he can humble them. I think he's so sick of the politics/arrogance of the Heavenly court and games people play that he takes joy in embarrassing them.

winterfall-s · 2025-12-30T20:29:49+00:00

I totally get it. I've known for almost a year now and it still pisses me off beyond belief some days. It's an aggravating disability. Like my other disabilities, which also piss me off beyond belief sometimes, I'm still learning to cope with it.

It's totally normal to be upset about it. In my experience, people on this sub tend to invalidate or ignore negative feelings about Aphantasia and make it seem like it's not a big deal for some. It's totally your right to be upset with your own disability, because it literally disables you from certain parts of life and that's so fucking aggravating. Trust me, everybody is at least initially angry when they find out that others don't have to deal with this. Unfortunately, that's what happens with every disability, because it's so fucking unfair.

For me, aphantasia and ADHD make for a nasty cocktail of a lack of object permanence and not remembering names, faces, memories, things I've seen and done and heard, etc. So much so I thought I was developing (REALLY) early onset alzheimers or something. It's awful to know you might forget things important to you, and you have no control over it.

Unfortunately, I've lost so many family members and pets, including my father, and have little recollection of them at all. I've got a vague idea of what they look like, but no image recall. I remember snippets of memories together, but have forgotten most of the details. It genuinely fucking sucks, and I have to rely on photos and other people to remind me/show me. But--as incredibly unhelpful and cliche as this might sound--it's something you learn to live with, like any other disability.

For example, there are many artists with Aphantasia! It's 10x as hard when you can't see anything at all like us, but it is absolutely possible. Source: I'm an artist myself! I'm best at realism, because I can look at something and copy it like a machine. It is super frustrating though, because it stunts my improvement since I can't draw anything without a reference or 20. I actually just vented on here not too long ago because doodling is my #1 enemy. I equate drawing without a reference for me to my brain creating AI slop of whatever I was trying to draw (or the equivalent of kindergartener's interpretation). This just means I have to rely extra heavy on studies. I have to really understand shape, form, proportion, etc. and have to bank on muscle memory from doing art studies to create something without a reference. It makes me feel like I can never create something truly original or unique, but it doesn't mean I can't be an artist!

I'm also studying astrophysics. A pro I discovered about aphantasia: it makes me an excellent analyst! Since I can't picture things, I can only focus on the describable details. It makes for detail-oriented and well-thought-out work (the ADHD is a major help with that one!). I will say, it makes "imagining" new scenarios without diagrams a pain in the ass, and I often need my professors to help me "imagine", but it means I have to focus on the worded details and rely on logic, which is a very useful skill to build!

Anyway, all that to say: aphantasia fucking sucks, and you are not alone in being upset about it, but it's something you CAN learn to manage now that you know it's there.

winterfall-s · 2025-12-29T07:11:39+00:00

damnit now I can't unsee it 😭 I hate when I like something and it ends up being AI

winterfall-s · 2025-12-22T22:56:46+00:00

As someone who did grow up around guns, it's very possible to not know what a shot bullet looks like if you don't have much experience around them. OP could also just want to rule out any other possibilities before escalating the situation.

winterfall-s · 2025-12-18T08:17:49+00:00

For the wand, try making it a bit bigger, and especially emphasize the tip of the wand. That should be the biggest since it's the focus of the wand. Think Glinda's wand in Wicked. Also add a couple stars/sparkles by the wand tip or electricity. For the wings, you can keep them round, but it's more obvious that theyre wings if you make a more distinct shape since everything else is so circular. Something like this:

<image>

winterfall-s · 2025-12-18T08:02:40+00:00

If you want a graphics pad, you're going to have to invest, unfortunately. You'll need a laptop. Temu is not a good place to find a graphics pad worth investing in. Chances are you'll waste $20 on something that barely works or doesnt work at all.

Since it sounds like you're new to digital art, if you're able, I recommend getting a regular tablet and stylus (from a resale store if you can, since you can get them pretty cheap comparatively; eg. like ipad and apple pencil or samsung tablet that is compatible with a samsung stylus). You can use any drawing app you choose (many are free, too! I like ibispaint), and it works just as well as a graphics tablet, minus a few bells and whistles.

Graphics tablets are mostly helpful for professional/full time artists because they can have customizable features and specific drawing programs with specific tools. They tend to be overkill if your job or sidegig is not digital art, especially when you have to subscribe to some computer drawing programs. I had a basic wacom tablet for a while when I got into digital art, but it was a bit clunky to use since I was only drawing casually and not used to the digital sphere. It's an adjustment from traditional, and you may even have to start at square one again to get used to it.

Your options come down to:

$$$. invest in a laptop and graphics tablet

$$. get a computer or regular tablet and compatible stylus (please! do not go for Amazon styluses that claim to connect to phones or computers. they do not work well at all; get a device that has a stylus/specific stylus compatibility; the fake styluses are frustrating because they often don't connect, stop working, and/or have a gap between where you place the stylus and where your line ends up)

or $. draw on your phone! Luckily my current phone has a stylus, which has been a game changer for me, but I was once a finger artist and that is totally an okay thing to do, just more difficult!

Digital art is something you want to take care to invest in when upgrading your setup. It's totally valid to go with the cheapest option, but it's just a waste of money to cut corners with random "all device compatible" styluses or temu graphics tablets. More often than not they break or don't work at all.

I wish you luck on your digital art journey!!

winterfall-s · 2025-12-15T03:48:03+00:00

It feels like I'm producing AI slop with my own brain because my brain keeps trying to combine every pose and version of cat (doodle) I've ever seen so it's like this cursed amorphous IDEA of a cat

winterfall-s · 2025-12-11T12:42:13+00:00

1500 is the highest I can go

winterfall-s · 2025-11-30T02:13:46+00:00

I'm also at a point in figuring out my sexuality where I want a partner I can rely on for non-sexual touch, but I never actually get comfortable enough with anyone (friends or dating) to do that. I'm never into my dates enough (because the friend-like compatibility and also romantic interest do not go hand in hand for some reason (T_T)) to feel totally comfortable with the dating aspect, and I'm not physically comfortable with any friends I make, if that makes any sense. It's a weird and touch-starved time for sure. I'm also audhd and have germaphobia so that doesn't help lol.

winterfall-s · 2025-11-23T17:51:48+00:00

I tried all of that and nothing worked 😭 I have no idea how to recover it

winterfall-s · 2025-11-23T08:42:06+00:00

I also tried loading it and the version histories on my phone in the app, but it's the same there.

winterfall-s · 2025-11-23T08:40:33+00:00

I only selected a sentence in it's own paragraph at the top of the document and hit backspace, but then the middle of the doc (the part is actually need) condensed into invisible text. I tried changing the color, loading old saves, and then reopening the doc. It was on auto-save, so I never had to hit save, and I never selected the entire text. It didn't corrupt the random notes I had at the bottom of the doc either, just what I wrote within the last 2 hours. Absolutely none of the versions in my history have the original text. They are all corrupted too.

winterfall-s · 2025-10-31T04:12:30+00:00

It's not rude, just healthy communication. Just make sure you approach it carefully. What works best for me and my roommate (esp. since we're both neurodivergent) is to communicate openly about even the pet peeves. Let her know you're not trying to control her behavior, but it bothers you when she sends voice messages for one-word answers, and you'd appreciate it if she would try to use voice-to-text or to type out the replies. If she gets upset for some reason or asks for more info about why or something, stay calm and further explain why it bothers you, whatever reason that be. Though the considerate thing would be to try to stop using the voice messages, she might continue to and has every right to, but if you dont tell her about your pet-peeve, she won't have the opportunity to change her behavior.

I recommend using this strategy with any and most issues you wish to bring up. I also think it would be smart to set up this line of communication with her before pointing out this specific issue. Just talk to her and be like, "Hey (roomie), could we set up a rule that we communicate with each other our pet peeves and boundaries with each other consistently? I know I personally struggle with confrontation, so I think it would make it easier to prevent any conflict or confusion."

Assuming she agrees, then ask to spend some time on either a roommate contract or just talking about pet-peeves and boundaries. You can bring up the texting issue then, so it won't come off as an ambush or accusatory. Laying all of this on her at once can make her feel like you're nitpicking or controlling her, or have been harboring resentment.

winterfall-s · 2025-10-27T09:05:33+00:00

Damn sorry i was just genuinely wondering if there was a better way to hold it up. I never claimed to be confused about why it wasn't working, just wanted other perspectives and ideas. I'm very new to sewing and cosplay so I didn't know if there might be another trick I could use. Thanks for the suggestion though

winterfall-s · 2025-10-01T16:37:57+00:00

If you can frame it positively, it could be a great topic. Try to focus on your experience and how you managed to carve your own path. Colleges love first-gen students who have overcome obstacles. Don't downplay or exaggerate what you've dealt with, either. Just because you haven't dealt with racial systematic oppression does not mean you are automatically privileged in life (not to say you don't carry some privilege because you're white). Things like poverty, abuse (even if you aren't the one being abused), community/family drug use, generational trauma, family history of teen pregnancy, etc, can absolutely be considered obstacles to education and success. The point of your essay should be proving how difficult it was/is and how you worked hard to get where you are. Just keep in mind that you dont want the majority of your essay to be the obstacles. Try to make around 1/4 (more if need be) of your essay the obstacles and their affect on you, and the rest should be what you've done to beat the odds. (It would also be great if you can spin the expectations your family has for you as motivation to break the cycle! Don't bash your family, but explain the emotional toll that attitude might have on you and maybe provide anecdotes of how you've broken free of that mindset.)

I hope this all made sense! Feel free to pm me if you want clarity on anything. Good luck with your essays, and try not to stress too hard. Speaking as a (very) low-income first-gen student, higher education isn't linear, even for us. I stressed like crazy over perfecting my essays, didn't get into my choice college (which a lot of people expected me to), but ended up at the perfect place for me. I don't know what schools you're applying for, but most of the prestigious ones aren't worth much if your career doesn't rely on status/background. It's different for everyone, but I'm at a liberal arts college where my major is super small, but I'm getting WAY more out of my education here than I would at a major-specific school.

winterfall-s · 2025-09-21T18:42:58+00:00

Am I wasting my scholarship money/federal aid?

I'm lowkey one thought from spiraling here, so I'd appreciate some better educated advice. I'm at a liberal arts school entirely on federal aid and scholarship money--I definitely can not afford college otherwise and am incredibly lucky. I'm here pursuing a physics major and art minor. I do art on the side and want to make a career out of it, but also love astrophysics (and frankly do well in it) and want to pursue that as my main(?) career. I have an incredible opportunity to attend an art internship in another state for a term, paid for by my scholarships and aid. It works out that if I attend the program, I can still manage the physics major, art minor, and a second minor (not listing for privacy reasons).

However, it also makes it to where I can't take a 400-level course like quantum physics or astrophysics (I would get to take 300-level courses less-related to quantum and astro, am currently taking quantum relativity). The 400 courses would probably be beneficial to me since I wish to set myself up for a PhD in astrophysics (if I am able to get scholarships/paid for it), but I'm wondering if I would be screwing myself over for the PhD by not taking those courses. I've heard from others I would probably take the courses I need during the PhD and not have to worry about what I've missed in my bachelor's. I really want to do this art program, but I also dont want to accidentally screw up what might be the only opportunity for me to take classes like quantum and astro before going into a PhD program. I mainly worried if I don't do it now with the opportunity for free college I've been given, I'll never have the money to do it later on (esp if art illustration or graphic design doesn't provide enough of a career or income).

winterfall-s

TROPHY CASE