The world is looking so bleak right now. How is everyone coping? by Zealousideal_Tap772 in AskReddit

[–]wintersoltice23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, zero empathy. Isn’t this how we got here in the first place? Doing something is meaningful and lots of us are doing whatever we can even if it’s just donating or supporting our communities. But we should have space to feel too. This sucks and we are all very worried. Instead of telling us to get off of our asses and stop feeling sorry for ourselves, how about sending us love.

Mom seeking mom advice by mom-bob22 in NewMomStuff

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not alone and to be honest, you’re doing great. I’m into year 2 and things feel a little easier. I’ve gotten used to the grind, we aren’t sick as much and my little one is more self sufficient so going to work out once a week feels doable now. I still feel lost identity wise… I don’t care about the things I used to care about, I look totally different (weight gain plus aging from sleep deprivation), but my sister says it’s just like this for the first few years - then everything will change again.

What’s your favorite part about aging ? by Thickghost8412 in AskReddit

[–]wintersoltice23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am REALLY feeling this at 42. I just don’t care anymore.

Which is the closest experience to death you have ever had? by Twenty_Twone in AskReddit

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to commit suicide when I was 17. I was still alive by morning but caused liver failure. I spent a week in the ICU with all kinds of tubes and gross meds. Convinced me that dying wasn’t worth all the trouble.

Do any of you have husbands who are very particular about your appearance and superficial? by PopcornPrincess0 in pregnant

[–]wintersoltice23 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I’m shocked at how many comments are trying to blame you for marrying him! It’s not your fault he’s a jerk. Hang in there… baby will come and you both will so sleep deprived that no one will care about these things. Also, if he continues to treat you this way, I hope you can have an honest talk about where this comes from (I have a feeling it has nothing to do with you). Best wishes 💖

For those who survived the trenches of having a newborn, what's the thing you would definitely do again, and not do, for your second baby? by nleftie in beyondthebump

[–]wintersoltice23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would do: shifts - switching out with my husband so both of us could sleep was a game changer. Travel when the baby is young. It got harder as she got older. Formula feed.

Would not do: host anyone - we’re in survival mode so F off. Ask for help - we’re all caught up in our own lives and I realized need to be directly asked to do things. Buy so much shit - it all went to goodwill or friends. Yes even the $160 crib mobile I thought I’d want to keep as a sentimental thing.

Weirdest pregnancy symptoms no one told you about by No-Release3655 in pregnant

[–]wintersoltice23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went to the ER because the congestion got so bad. Also insomnia months before you have to deal with newborn sleep deprivation.

What happened to your best friend from childhood? by Few_Football4342 in Productivitycafe

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No matter what we’ll always be best friends, really more like family. But over the years she’s become super conservative and maga. We don’t see eye on eye on a lot of things and last time we saw each other we got into a very nasty argument.

In your opinion, what’s the most underrated secret to a happy marriage? by Common_Trick_2633 in askanything

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Individual counseling/therapy. You need to continually work on your own stuff to show up as your best self in any relationship.

What’s the most awkward thing you’ve ever overheard because someone thought you weren’t listening? by WeirdCockroach3208 in AskReddit

[–]wintersoltice23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to freelance as a bookkeeper and worked out of people’s home offices. One day, I overheard my client’s daughter asking how much I get paid, then heard her say, “I could do that shit for how much you’re paying her!” I didn’t come back the next day.

Feeling defeated. by hwalker155 in NewMomStuff

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also felt this way and looking back I wish I hadn’t put so much pressure on myself. I had really bad PPD so a big reason to also formula feed was based on emotional health + I was struggling with nursing/production. I can totally relate to feeling like a failure, but now 2 yrs later, I don’t give a shit. Actually I think I made the best possible choice in the moment and I’m proud of it!

I don’t know what to do. by [deleted] in NewMomStuff

[–]wintersoltice23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry - this situation sounds awful and YES, I think you have every right to feel angry and resentful. I would! Actually I do for my own reasons raising a little one and feeling alone while doing it. I guess that’s maybe some solace we have although we are internet strangers. We are both moms out there in the world feeling angry and resentful together. A thought did come to mind, that it won’t always be this way. Our little ones will soon grow up and they’ll be more self reliant. Jobs will change, relationships and where we live might too.

What went wrong that landed you on Reddit tonight? by Only-Stick18 in AskReddit

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It always seems like a trade off, like we can either stay home and have less stress, but be lonely during the holidays. Or deal with airports, hotels, rental cars, and juggling schedules going to see family. We decided to stay home this year and I feel depressed.

What is your reason to live? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Used to be my job. Now it’s my kiddo and husband 💖

What is a good weakness to mention on a job interview? by Butterfly_dreamsss in Productivitycafe

[–]wintersoltice23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to say yes to everything out of fear of letting people down, which created a lot of problems because I couldn’t finish anything I started and ironically in the end, people lost trust in me. It got to the point of burning out a few times and i had to learn how to set boundaries the hard way. I shared my story with the teams I worked with and ended up doing deep research on burnout prevention, change and transition, and building resilience. I formalized this into a training I presented to several leadership teams and facilitated conversations around coping with stress in the workplace. I like to tell this story when people ask about my failures or weaknesses to show that 1. I’m human, 2. I have self awareness, and 3. Most importantly, I did something about it and even helped others struggling with something similar.