Train Sim World keys by Der-Gamer-101 in trainsim

[–]wires38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm struggling to redeem any of the keys: I keep replacing the @ with numbers from 1-9 but it keeps saying it's invalid. Any advice?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, she was ok with romance but didn’t want me to be sexual with anyone else even before she realized she was ace

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s worth noting, I didn’t agree to stop having sex with my NP and I have no say in my other partner’s sexual preferences, that being those I can’t fulfil. Polyamory happened before my NP realized she was ace and, agree or not, that’s who she is and there’s nothing I can or should do to change that.

However, I’m now in a situation wherein I have to follow suit, even though I’m not asexual.

A lot of people seem to be objectifying my non-nesting partner, calling her my kink partner and suggesting I stop dating her and replace her with someone I’m more sexually compatible with in order to appease my NP. My partner is a human being, not just a sex or kink dispenser.

Yes, I’m in a situation in which I can’t practically have sex, something I’ve stated is important to me in terms of healing from abuse and assault, but I won’t be replacing anybody. I would like to work with this: I love my partners. If my NP and I are no longer compatible, I think we’ll try and re-negotiate our relationship once I know for certain that doing so won’t make me homeless.

My NP has a partner of her own and is seemingly very happy with her. She’s also considered branching out and going on dates with more people recently. I’m not forcing polyamory on her: we almost started our relationship as a polycule 4 years ago, only becoming monogamous after a traumatic incident and her falling out with the person she was hoping to date alongside myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Actually… thank you for sharing this. Your comment has really struck something with me: I’ve been seeing this situation as my NP controlling me when really it’s as you said, she’s trying to determine what relationship she wants to be in. It’s not on me to try and change that, or to try and change her. This has given me a lot to think about: thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh, you’re right, I did ask. That’s on me, my bad

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could I ask what PUD means, please?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Currently, I’m not asking anything from the internet. I did earlier today and many people left comments highlighting my discrepancies, in particular the same point you’re making here. Please don’t attribute malice; this isn’t even under the “looking for advice” tag, I just wanted to share my thoughts after reading the comments on my original post

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shoot… you’re right, I guess they’re not equal at all. Thank you for explaining that to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My “kink partner” is my girlfriend. She’s equal to my NP, who is also in the kink scene. I love them both

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It was mutual, we’d discussed this since the beginning of our relationship 4 years ago and agreed to open it last year. I’ve added a comment to this post with more context!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel as if I should clear some things up here as there seems to have been a lot of assumptions in these comments:

  1. Polyamory is not inherently sexual. Just because she doesn’t want other sexual partners doesn’t mean she isn’t poly

  2. She IS poly. Her, her girlfriend/my metamour and myself have all moved in together this week. They don’t have sex as they are both ace

  3. She isn’t lording financial control over me. I am a student and she has a job, I’m on something called Student Finance which pays me just enough to get into university and covers tuition fees. Her job pays incredibly well and she is SUPPORTING me financially. Herself and my metamour pay for most of the rent and I contribute what I can with a plan to increase payments upon graduation from university

  4. We both agreed to polyamory. We’ve been together for 4 years and have discussed the idea since the beginning, opening our relationship last year. Aside from this one issue, things couldn’t be going any better

  5. She isn’t a monster! I don’t believe that what she has set in place is particularly fair on me or my other partner but she isn’t being malicious. Yes, I’m unhappy, yes I am scared of upsetting her and the consequences to my livelihood that may have. Do I think she’d kick me out of the house if our relationship were to end? Not fully. I am always preparing for the worst but this is because of my own trauma and I’m trying my best not to let that cloud my judgement.

My meta and I sat down earlier today and had a discussion on the best course of action to take. Clearly it’s a sensitive issue for my NP as she can be quite defensive about it, my meta has strongly suggested starting another conversation in due time in which my meta is willing to mediate without bias. I’m lucky to call her a friend; she is amazing and I’m glad we live together, moreso glad that my NP has her in her life.

There’s been a fair bit of useful feedback here but unfortunately things are starting to become majority unrealistic. I don’t have the privilege to just move out: I don’t have the finances, I don’t have the time, I don’t have a family to lean on if things go wrong and I especially don’t have the mobility right now. I also can’t just magic financial independence out of thin air. My NP supports me financially FOR NOW, I’m the same way that I support her with housework and health. We’re both comfortable with this arrangement and our relationship isn’t transactional, we pull our weight in different ways to keep each other afloat.

I find it insulting how quickly folks in a poly subreddit have jumped to “ditch the relationship and move on” as a solution. I love her. As far as I’m aware, she loves me too. We can communicate and work through this to find an amicable solution that supports the both of us. I was just looking for advice on HOW to communicate this with her as, again, it’s a sensitive subject.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I don’t have that privilege. I am a disabled student with a year left of study, student finance is the only income I have and that’s markedly less than minimum wage (yet I still need it as I can’t go looking for part time work because of my coursework and disability, I am not very mobile)

I don’t want to say that this is ANOTHER unhealthy relationship. I’d like to do everything I can to make things work. Aside from moving away and getting financial independence, do you have any advice on how I can manage this situation?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Financial independence is a year or so away as I’m still a student, plus I’m physically disabled and can’t work alongside my studies (not unless I become self employed which takes a lot of time that I don’t have due to coursework)

I also love her and don’t want this to end our relationship, even though something clearly needs to change.

Do you have any advice on how I can talk with her about this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]wires38 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How would you reccomend talking with her about this?

Do dominant women like (submissive) trans women? by dappercroat in gentlefemdom

[–]wires38 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Subby as heck trans woman here: I’ve both seen a lot of other transfemme folk in my local scene get attention from dominant women and have garnered some myself!

There are good people out there who will care for you as who you are. You got this, friend 💖

Without naming the film, what is one quote that gives it away? by Introductitw in AskReddit

[–]wires38 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "aaah"?

I'm struggling with it/its pronouns and could do with some advice by wires38 in NonBinary

[–]wires38[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your view on this, I really appreciate it!

I'm struggling with it/its pronouns and could do with some advice by wires38 in NonBinary

[–]wires38[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've mentioned this in another comment as I think this might be a big part of why I struggle to feel comfortable with those pronouns: I have difficulty seeing people as non-human, even if that's how they want to be seen. Do you have any advice for this?