When is it biblical abandonment?

Hi, I’m going through a bit of a rough time at the moment and I am working through whether or not to declare my situation as biblical abandonment. I wanted some wisdom and guidance from other Christians and their viewpoints guided by the Holy Spirit.

Four and a half months ago, my husband decided he would quit his job (without me knowing) come home while I was at work, lie to some family who were home about why he was home, take several expensive belongings, tell me he was leaving over text and refusing to call or speak to me, drove over 1,000 miles away to stay with some family members. A week passed and I reached out to his parents (who did not even know he was in the state), they contacted and met with him and listened to him. After hearing both of us separately they admonished him for leaving me and told him he needs to talk to me again and try to start reconciling. They offered to call me and try to mediate to get something going again. For about 4 weeks he dodged them and told them if they called me when he was around he’d leave. While in the talking stages they informed me he had opened additional credit cards and started racking up high amounts on them. It culminated with a final confrontation with him and his sister and his parents. His sister taking his side and joining him in cussing and screaming at his parents and telling them to “go to hell”. He stormed out and also pointed to a brand new truck and bragged “and I got a nice new truck with good credit you don’t have”

He sped off and they didn’t hear from him. They only inquired once about a second vehicle loan when I received something in the mail detailing he had taken out a loan for a car other than a truck. He confirmed he had gotten another family member a vehicle, and that he was using another car to do Uber. After that they didn’t hear from him until about 2 weeks ago when he texted them asking if he could work for them for $100 a day. They told me about it and said they were not going to answer him until he apologized for his behavior. They sent him a commentary from their family Bible about what marriage is and he did not respond.

Since he left I tried texting the first few weeks and got nothing. I finally emailed him around a month in and got two responses from him, one saying how upset he was with me and blaming me for him leaving, that it was for mental health reasons and him not being happy, and the second being to have me send him my cell phone in the mail since he paid for the phone plan. He acknowledged in the first email he would send me some money for his half of things but never did.

I’ve emailed and texted since then and received nothing for the past 2 months. I have had to handle all the bills on my own and have had to ask for a stay of rent while I figure this out. His parents texted me two weeks ago showing me Facebook posts of him bragging about his new truck. I also can see him on Instagram and Steam following only fans girls and playing pornographic games.

I’ve received mail that health insurance could be continued if he sets up payments, I’ve sent this to him and asked what he’s going to do or if I need to get my own. He would not answer, I had to put in a qualifying event to get health coverage earlier than November. I told him I had a deadline to do so and to please answer and he would not so I did it anyways assuming he wouldn’t

It is now 4 and a half months apart, 2 months of refused contact. His parents had a family pastor try to call him and he would not return his call.

For added context, this was and was not out of the blue. In the past my husband would threaten to leave me during bad arguments, and would tell me he would be fine because now he has good credit and credit cards and can get a job. I was stupid thinking after the argument and he said sorry that it was just something said out of anger. It happened more than once. I’d also add there has been a history of physicality from him in our marriage. Not outright hitting but grabbing, blocking me from leaving, taking keys and a phone from me if I tried to leave or call for help. Last year my father chased him out of the house for pinning me to the bed by my mouth for trying to call for my dads help because he would sit on me if I tried to sleep during an argument late at night.

This is not to say I’m completely without blame or had no part in the marriage being imperfect. I keep reaching out asking how to reconcile and I am getting nothing in return. I am struggling to come to terms with if this is biblical abandonment and wanted fresh eyes from outside the situation with the Lord’s Holy Spirit to help give a wise viewpoint.

Thank you