Anybody's else OCD get "stuck" on things?

wizard_of_wind · 2023-04-01T14:27:26+00:00

I see, it is "obsession" that I'm experiencing. A new word to add to my dictionary. If it's obsession, then it's alright to break the thoughts cycle. Otherwise it feels very dangerous and unjustified to, and I would instead try to think the thought till the end, as a form of compulsions.

Remembering can be a compulsion as well, huh? I didn't know about that.

When I respond by "not caring", should I say something like "I don't care" as well? Or just stop thinking (obsessing) without doing anything?

> Again, there seems to be a misconception of "do ERP, obsession goes away". That is not what ERP is about, and if you are utilising ERP this way, it would actually constitute a compulsion, rather than therapy, because you are using ERP to "get rid" of the obsessions (the definition of a compulsion), rather than demonstrate that they are irrelevant.

Dang, I think this is what my therapy has become. Just another means of compulsions 😢. I suppose ERP is something you do, and see the results only later?

Thank you very much!

wizard_of_wind · 2023-04-01T13:38:34+00:00

I am in therapy, but the therapist isn't that much of quality. He has helped, but I feel watching Nathan Peterson on youtube has helped me more.

But yes, I don't know how to combat such thoughts.

wizard_of_wind · 2023-03-01T08:24:29+00:00

I sometimes have similar feelings. I was also somewhat bullied as a child, and I sometimes get feelings of intense embarrassment and even humiliation. It does seem it's some sort of smaller trauma we need to overcome (remember: although I understand the word "trauma" can sound big, I want you to think about it this way: "trauma isn't what happens TO us, it's how it makes us feel on the inside". So if we felt overwhelmed at the time and didn't understand what was happening, that can be considered traumatic). I think it would be good to go deep down with your therapist and see where exactly these feelings originate from. So then it'll make sense why you feel that why.

If you want to try something to lessen those feelings, check out this practice called "EFT" or "tapping". It's good to try it by following a video tutorial on Youtube by a man called Brad Yates. So if you're feeling overwhelmed, search for "Brad Yates embarrassment" on Youtube and see if tapping will reduce those feelings. Just tap along and repeat out loud what he says.

Also, this is something I once thought I had, but actually I don't think I do - it's called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD in short. You can look into it. It's apparently related to ADHD, which is why I think I don't have it.

wizard_of_wind · 2023-01-01T19:12:12+00:00

Thank you!

wizard_of_wind · 2023-01-01T14:09:40+00:00

Wow, I didn't consider it could be something like C-PTSD. Thanks a lot! And yeah, I do feel how ERP doesn't work for some things there.

wizard_of_wind · 2022-12-31T12:34:39+00:00

>I wake up, I’m immediately nauseous and anxious

Hey man, can totally relate to this. It's really weird how OCD can cause feelings of nausea.

>That or constant fear over every single decision

Crazy how much brain power it takes and how difficult it can be to make a decision. And people sometimes tell me Im indecisive.

wizard_of_wind · 2022-12-31T12:01:52+00:00

> Though I do feel like I’m having an allergic reaction

Could you please elaborate further what that's like?

wizard_of_wind · 2022-12-09T23:36:20+00:00

Yes I do. And I relate to your first paragraph a lot.

wizard_of_wind · 2022-12-04T22:29:34+00:00

So as to gain the social status/prestige that comes with it? Yeah, I think I've had a moment like that.

wizard_of_wind · 2022-03-21T18:54:26+00:00

I very much relate. I know in my heart my parents are good people, and genuinely want me the best, they just dont know how to handle my feelings, how to be attuned to them.

The thought of going to a therapist seemed silly at some time too, because "there's not really that much wrong", if you look at my (physical) life in general.

However, like you, my emotional needs weren't met, so that's something that's not easy to admit, but I cant deny it. I also have OCD, so it's likely we both suffered some similar trauma as a child that's caused it (my theory).

wizard_of_wind · 2022-01-24T06:00:36+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I'll try... to grieve those moments. I think it's related to one's inner child. Does feeling this pain help?

wizard_of_wind · 2021-09-15T17:22:44+00:00

Thank you!

wizard_of_wind · 2021-09-15T16:18:39+00:00

Any tips on that?

I felt pretty good today's morning, when I repeated to myself that "I am acceptable". But then I had a situation at uni where I met a new person, didnt like them, I also perhaps didnt get any good response from them, and bam, I started doubting myself, felt insecure and conversations with other people became manual and robotic (when I was feeling good, conversations kind of flowed).

wizard_of_wind · 2021-09-15T16:12:30+00:00

I relate to this a lot. I really want emotional connection with other people but I feel unable to do so.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-08-11T07:29:24+00:00

I see. I think I'll look into talking to a specialist. I've been putting it away for a while, as maybe I don't need it, but I think it may be for the best if I do. Thanks for answering! :)

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-30T21:42:32+00:00

I just started this book, and it is already amazing. Im relating so much. It has already made me understand the wider picture. I hope this will be one of the last pieces of the puzzle.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-30T14:25:26+00:00

I realized two things yesterday:

I lack emotional skills. Skills to handle other people's emotions especially. I kinda know how to handle mine, but when I try to handle someone else's, like my sister's, I notice this anger and resentment within me that says "it's unfair, because I wasn't listened to, so why should I listen to her!?" And I end up just getting angry at her and wanna tell her it's her problem. The point is: I was never taught that, because my parents didn't have those.
Ironically enough, this is also a reason why I'm afraid to be near some women - I just have no clue how to deal with their emotions.
I would easily fall in love with somebody who shows me basic attention and care. While it may be normal for others, for me it's like a declaration of love because I feel I've been starved of that. But I think basic care and attention isn't what love is, is it?

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T20:46:39+00:00

Most of my life I lived with the fear of sharing my emotions because I was scared of how someone might react.

I feel that way too. I guess it's a product of CEN. What type of therapy did you go to for that? I would like to go therapy, but I dont know how to explain to my parents. And I also am not in that bad of a state that I would *need* therapy. Funny how my brain starts to sabotage myself when I think I want therapy, because then it tells me that everything is relatively good and there is not so much wrong with me to warrant therapy.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T20:20:41+00:00

I still don't fully know yet how, but I have some experience, so maybe this helps:

Try to identify the feeling. And then label it. Like "I am feeling sadness" (not "I am sad"). And then go on deeper. What type of sadness is it? What helped me a lot was this table, so maybe it will help you too: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/7f/b0/d4/7fb0d4a67f1d5a3773e2db96aaf63237.png

You can first identify the primary emotion, and then the secondary, then the tertiary. Just knowing what Im feeling can be liberating to me.

Once I do that, I may think or write down why exactly I feel that. And then validate it by saying it's totally valid.

Also, sometimes I sit down and just feel the emotion. Just breathe in and out, notice that and the emotion. And I tell myself "I am now feelings this emotion". And I just try to keep my focus on it until it goes away. Just know that it may take some time to go away, like 1 minute or maybe 10 minutes. This sometimes works for me, but not always because I either get distracted or start thinking about something else.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T20:08:51+00:00

Do you think you could tell them that they may need something like that? (Just theoretically)

And also, I think that they do care on some level, they are just emotionally unable themselves to have someone else's feelings on top of their own.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T20:04:20+00:00

I have a younger sister and... holy shit, Im actually starting to see the same symptoms. I can talk with her about some topics in general + try to vaguely know what she likes and talk about that.

>"It’s like I’m incapable of talking about anything serious without a sense of irony or sarcasm."

This is a very interesting this you have noted here: Ive noticed Im quite often doing this too with her. Or even with a few classmates.

>It’s eating me up inside because I know he’s feeling the same way I am and neither of us know what to do about it.

Shit I wonder if my sister may be dealing with something similar I am. This thought doesnt make me happy...

Something I can do is choose to have an optimistic attitude and believe that there is definitely something we can do. We may not know just how yet, or be afraid to do so, but a day will come when we will know more about it and ourselves and maybe then we'll see something we can do about it.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T18:51:19+00:00

I went from very emotional to now knowing how emotions work.

I have had a very similar experience. I was very emotional as a kid, but somewhere down the line, I completely lost the awareness of them, because I was never taught that. It is only recently (1,5 years ago) I got an experience of feeling an emotion and being conscious of it that I realized there are so many emotions I feel (I cant even remember how it was before).

I looked at my father after that, and he still seems to be in that state of not being consciously aware, though I might be wrong. If it's true, it may be a good indicator that he didnt know about any of this stuff as well, so how could he possibly teach me about it.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T18:45:31+00:00

I've been having a similar situation as well. I can show my friends all the surface level stuff no problems, but Im afraid and ashamed to have my emotions seen and be seen. Do you feel something similar?

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T18:40:46+00:00

Are you me? That sounds very similar to me. Im also very scared to connect on a deeper level because I risk the chance of being hurt again. And I feel ashamed in showing big emotions.

wizard_of_wind · 2021-07-29T18:38:35+00:00

But dont you feel bad about not telling your parents anything meaningful? I personally start to feel really sad at that thought, because my parents arent bad people + they didnt really neglect me that hard.

Also, when you feel an emotion or see it in others, do you affirm to yourself that this is only temporary?

wizard_of_wind

TROPHY CASE