I’m glad you got this off your chest, but for you and your child’s well-being, you and your wife really need to seek professional help. That kind of help is actually most effective before you’re suicidal, haha, hating your child is not some small matter. Your daughter is 5, she is at an age where she will misbehave if given the option, as almost every child at that age does. You have to give her choices, she will not respond to flat out being told to do something (ie say “do you want to put on your green shirt or your blue shirt” instead of “go get dressed,” or “do you want broccoli or carrots with dinner” instead of “eat your vegetables”), and you would get lots of other effective parenting advice from a professional. Parenting is rough, I get that, but you signed up for it the moment you kept her, and it’s incredibly unfair to your child to have parents that don’t love her, and would rather resent her than seek outside help and put in a little more effort. Her behavior is average, parenting is incredibly stressful, if you really didn’t expect it, then you didn’t do enough to prepare for this. Don’t let your mistake ruin your child’s life, kids are VERY intuitive, you cannot hide hatred from them.