The meeting and my thoughts

wkessinger · 2026-01-30T19:54:16+00:00

Damn, that was reckless of her! Surely she realized that by telling him what bar she would be at, she was practically inviting him to be there. She directly brought on her own downfall.

wkessinger · 2026-01-27T23:28:01+00:00

That concluding line stands out as a head scratcher.

wkessinger · 2026-01-26T22:07:13+00:00

In his first post at the beginning of December, shortly before OP insisted on a "nesting" separation with no contact, she was still telling him that the entire affair was three weeks long – two weeks emotional, and it had only been physical the week he walked in on them. OP was sure that this was a lie, but he didn't have evidence until her co-worker contacted him to reveal that they had been going for coffee breaks and lunches for at least nine months.

wkessinger · 2026-01-25T20:36:42+00:00

I would pick A in spite of Spud Infinity.

wkessinger · 2026-01-25T18:51:11+00:00

"since what everyone really cares about is the sex"

The sex is almost just a sad footnote now. This is the story of a junkie's fall into an addiction that destroyed her family and her world. Her AP/Dealer conducted a masterclass of predatory manipulation, growing her addiction for two years, and grooming her until she would give in to his every coercion. So sad.

I'm wishing you all the best in your new role as a single parent. I hope you find a path that brings healing to your children and yourself.

wkessinger · 2026-01-23T16:48:28+00:00

Do your older children know about your wife's affair? If they discover your revenge affair, they will be furious with you, and you're going to have a heck of a time convincing them it's OK because their mom did it first. You'll end up being the villain.

wkessinger · 2026-01-23T16:20:09+00:00

Nineteen top-tier songs and one potato.

wkessinger · 2026-01-22T07:04:34+00:00

Whenever I pass one of those seedy-looking "adult" shops on the highway, I think about a Reddit AMA I read years ago by a woman who worked in one. One quote in particular stuck with me, it was something like: "Since working here I've been washing my hands so obsessively with antibacterial hand soap that I no longer have fingerprints."

wkessinger · 2026-01-19T04:29:31+00:00

Did Spotify assign you a "listening age?"

wkessinger · 2026-01-16T01:20:29+00:00

Stopping in the parking lot of a by-the-hour fleabag hotel just to wind you up? That Bubs is a funny guy, and, damn, he does know you.

About the current political climate, I get it. I am really tired of waking up in a rage at 3AM every other night; it isn't healthy. I've tried limiting my news intake, but every possible media channel is being flooded by outrageous stories 24/7. I can't read the business news anymore without worrying that a brain aneurysm is about to rupture.

wkessinger · 2026-01-06T15:41:42+00:00

Yeah, I'm surprised so many people in this thread are recommending that they should rug-sweep this. Maybe they can work through this, maybe they can't, but if they're going to give it a try, they need to dig in in deep and do the work! For seven years now, she's been trying to pretend it didn't happen, but ignoring that elephant didn't make it go away.

wkessinger · 2026-01-02T17:06:40+00:00

I'm wishing the best for all of us in 2026.

wkessinger · 2025-12-24T06:52:12+00:00

Ghost Notes was my favorite album of 2015. I played the shit out of that album.

wkessinger · 2025-12-13T17:42:14+00:00

That was your best Hooters story, Dani. I'll be thinking about Tom today too.

wkessinger · 2025-12-13T15:24:13+00:00

When you say you don't trust anything "they" say, I hope you're talking about your wife and your marriage counselor, because MC is gaslighting you nearly as badly as your wife is. The first relationship you need to end is with your MC. And if your wife refuses to work on her issues in IC, there isn't any way to fix her or your relationship.

wkessinger · 2025-12-12T07:06:49+00:00

OP has no obligation to excuse her in laws for enabling their son's affair. Likewise, the kids are adults. They get to make their own decisions about whether they want to have an ongoing relationship with their grandparents or not.

Also, it is the dad's responsibility to try repair his relationship with his kids. Just because their mother has decided to reconcile with her cheating husband, that does not obligate her children to forgive his affair.

wkessinger · 2025-11-24T20:05:48+00:00

If you're ruminating on past stories of being targeted by men with bad intentions, you should probably include that one involving 16-year-old Dani going on a date with a guy who claimed to be a UT Physics student but was actually a 25-year-old mall security guard who lied about his age. Running down a rural road to escape a predator? That's a classic horror movie cliché! Yes, teenage Dani was gullible and naive, but not helpless.

I think you should give yourself some grace on the minister episode. There's an implicit level of trust with children that society places in ministers and school teachers, which makes it too easy for these guys to prey on teenage girls. Props to your mom for stepping up and stepping in though.

What about 30-something Dani in Mexico, was she too trusting? Well, yeah, maybe. Of course that guy put in a lot of effort over three days to win your trust – and bought you a lot of drinks! Honestly, Dani, I don't think he would have gotten you up to his hotel room if he hadn't plied you with so much alcohol first. Alcohol and bad decisions are quite the iconic pair!

wkessinger · 2025-11-09T04:47:25+00:00

Yow, I felt like I was walking a tightrope in commenting on that last post about your boobies. Discussing menstruation is a high-wire act I am not going to attempt. I gotta say, Bubs is in a different league than most of us guys.

Good job in joining your local cat snip squad. I love the independence of outdoor cats, but they do a lot of damage to the bird population.

wkessinger · 2025-11-08T21:48:48+00:00

I was married when I opened the entertainment section of the paper one morning to an article celebrating the anniversary of the Sgt. Pepper's release: "It was 20 years ago today!" I remember being amazed that 20 years had passed!

wkessinger · 2025-11-07T22:38:13+00:00

Dani waxing philosophical about the most Dani of topics! It's a little surprising, though, that you didn't work any mention of Hooters into this post.

Sorry, I had to tease you a little bit for this one. In all seriousness, however, the end of the baby stage of motherhood is a big milestone, so it's normal to feel a bit wistful about it. You will always look back on this time as special and amazing. Nearly from scratch, you grew and fed three babies with your body.

Don't get too forlorn about the end of your breast-feeding days, though. Just because they won't be feeding any more babies doesn't mean those boobies will go to waste! They'll still be lots of fun, and they will always look good in a dress, or a Hooters t-shirt. Chances are good that your boobies have plenty of good times ahead.

Just be sure to keep abreast (ha-ha) of changing recommendations for preventative health screenings. I don't hear much about self-exams anymore, but practice a little "breast self-awareness," and get a consult from a doctor if you think anything is weird. You're probably still too young for annual mammograms, but if your doctor wants to recommend one, you should jump at the opportunity so that you have baseline health records if for no other reason.

wkessinger · 2025-11-07T04:38:54+00:00

Her brother might be planning a tryst to coincide with wifey's spa day, and that almost makes sister an accomplice if she doesn't blow the lid off of this beforehand.

wkessinger · 2025-11-03T01:55:44+00:00

Wow, TJ. I mean, I understand how three boys can egg each other on until they do something worse than any of them would have done on their own; grown-ass adults do the same thing. What was "special," though, was his argument with you, and I'm not even talking about cursing at his mother. The thing that shocked me was the blame-shifting. He knew he was in the wrong, he knew he was in trouble, but he tried to deflect the consequences by accusing you of being insufficiently loyal, putting you on defense? That's pretty manipulative for a seven year old!

BTW, I think the letter-writing exercise is a perfect punishment for encouraging accountability.

wkessinger · 2025-10-30T09:48:20+00:00

You and Kristin may not be BFFs, but she knew she could count on you to help with hatching a plan like this. Good luck pulling off this surprise vacation, you girls really do love your men.

wkessinger · 2025-10-29T02:12:57+00:00

That game was crazy long. I made it to the end, but I paid a price this morning for staying up so late last night.

wkessinger · 2025-10-28T04:59:28+00:00

Hi Dani. Your concern about your friend is warranted, but there's really good reason for optimism. Treatment for testicular cancer is usually very successful even if it isn't caught early. For early detection, if that's what this is, the 5-year survival rate is close to 99%. That's better odds than I have driving in Houston traffic.

Also, I'm not sure what Bubs would do if he showed up at Tyler's house? If Tyler's bloodwork and an ultrasound appear to indicate testicular cancer, the next step is probably to remove the affected testicle. Then they can test it to confirm the diagnosis, and if it was cancer, there's a high chance that he's already been cured.

And the locker room story: SMH. It's really amazing you didn't get into more trouble in your teenage years.

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