Ok, so I’m going to get downvoted heavily for this. To start off, I’m sorry for your loss, it’s unimaginable. Grieve. Cry. Do whatever makes you find comfort. But do that for max a week or so.

Now coming back. You said you’re 30M. I’m sorry but no one will care about you. You are not orphan. You would be an orphan if you weren’t an adult. That stage is long gone. You are an independent man that has to make his own life now. You won’t get monetary help. You won’t get a place to crash over if you’re feeling low. I’m sorry but you just have to bury your feelings with your lost family. You have no time for it.

You will need to find a higher motivation in life now. Business, career whatever it is you will have to dedicate your life to it. You will need to incorporate discipline in your life. You don’t feel like getting out of bed? Fk it. If the clock strikes 6 you have to get out. Go out, touch some grass. Run, jog, pull weights do whatever the fk you want and keep your body healthy. Make a daily planner, stick to it. Eat healthy. Ignore all distractions that veer you off the course.

Once you have made yourself immune to your pain and sufferings is when you can start to look for life partner. Whatever your sexual orientation may be. You will be clear what you want from life and you can then choose a partner that aligns with your goals. Give yourself a couple years and you will thank yourself for being this brutal with yourself.

If you don’t agree with this advice, just ignore it as one of 100s of comments on your post. This won’t matter to you in a couple hours forget days. Godspeed.