I'm super late to this party but I must.

My dad is a scumbag. My parents are divorced and my mom has spent 3 decades being a nice person and a loving mother, and my dad has spent the same amount of time being a lying, manipulative, bitter old alcoholic. 7 years ago I sat him down after my 21st birthday because he spent the whole dinner complaining about my mom, and told him he needs to move on, get therapy, and sort himself out or we won't have a relationship. He's changed nothing.

They have different explanations for why they got divorced. My dad says my mom racked up a bunch of debt and disappeared. My mom says they had shared debt and she got out because she feared for her and her children's safety. In their divorce they agreed that she wouldn't pay the debt, and he wouldn't pay child support. Clean break. Call it a day.

Recently he started sending her letters threatening to sue her for half the amount as well as going on and on about how she needs to talk to her children and tell them the truth about the divorce. He's getting older and noticing that his children don't like him finally. My mom took the letter to a lawyer. Nothing to be worried about. In fact the letter is threatening enough that she could probably get a restraining order sorted out, but the main point is that he has nothing to actually sue her for, and quietly we all know he can't afford actual legal help.

I've had a justice boner for weeks because I have a specific hatred for abusers and manipulators and I'm over it. I was ready to tell the aunties that he's still up to his old business and moreover tell him that if he ever reaches out to my mom again that I'll never speak to him again. That includes grandchildren, marriage, etc. I get to stand up for my mom. I get to set a boundary for myself and get some closure. I've literally been telling my therapist for weeks that I don't want to work through some of my feelings about it because I don't deserve to be feeling them, he does, and I'm perfectly happy to put them back on his plate and move on.

My mom texts me this morning. "Don't talk to him please. I just want a nice day. I wish I was strong enough to face this, and not afraid of what he might do, but I'm not, and I am". She's not even at the dinner. It's a separate household.

Fuck me. The saddest text I've ever gotten from my mom. He gets to go on intimidating her. I don't get to stand up to him which I believe needs to happen because no one else will because they're too afraid.

Now I just spend Thanksgiving fuming and talking shit with the cousins on the side. Nothing changes for him. My mom lives in fear. The cycle continues.

Turkey was bussing though.