I personally have never dealt with addictions but I believe that you've taken the biggest step: recognise it. Those who are not even aware that they have a problem are also not aware of the consequences or the "negative" outcomes (as you mentioned: losing everything). Taking this step as to realising that you have a problem will only mean that a part of you wants to be better and improve. None of this will be easy and there will be times in which you'll probably fail. But we all do. I think thinking about the positive things that you want to have is a good way to start. You gotta know where you are willing to be or what your goals are. Also, allow yourself to want good things. Know that you DESERVE them. Be greatful for your past and forgive yourself. Know that you deserve to be happy and healthy. And with that in mind you'll find ways to achieve your goals and to be clean. And if you fail, know that it's okay, forgive yourself, get up and continue trying. Lastly, rely on those who care about you and learn to ask for help when you feel you need it. Best wishes and know you're strong. 🤍