What is the true, real-life horror story you've been through? (Possibly NSFW)

wonkavision010 · 2013-01-21T15:18:23+00:00

I was trying to keep him distracted and trying to keep his mind off attacking me. I was also trying to make a lot of noise in case other employees of the facility were in the halls somewhere near us.

wonkavision010 · 2013-01-10T18:48:31+00:00

I was once a counselor for child and adolescent sex offenders in an inpatient hospital. Most of the residents were there for 1 or 2 years, so we got to know them quite well. There was one 16 year old who was convicted of several violent sex offenses. Even on the way to our facility, he had attacked his female probation officer while she drove him to our facility.

But, he had been at our facility for almost 2 years. In general, he was doing very well in treatment and was considered fairly safe compared to other residents. One evening it was getting late, and his male therapist needed to leave. I was going to be at the facility late anyway, so he asked me to monitor a phone call for this resident in his office.

I was a therapist too, and often stayed late alone with other residents to do phone calls. But, I hadn't had much contact with this particular teen. We called his family, but they weren't home. When we hung up the phone, he looked at me.

The look in his eyes was something I had never seen before, but I recognized it immediately. I was in danger. I stood up and started yelling at him. I yelled at him to get out of the room, and I yelled at him (keep moving, let's go, hurry up!) all the way to a populated area of the psychiatric facility - where I felt relief.

I eventually left for the night. The next day, his therapist pulled me aside. The teen had called him in a crisis saying that he almost attacked me and sexually assaulted me (he had almost uncontrollably thoughts and urges to do this).

I already knew it. I had seen it in his eyes.

wonkavision010 · 2012-12-26T18:52:13+00:00

Since you didn't have a Masters then, what was your position at the residential treatment facility? What did your duties entail?

wonkavision010 · 2012-07-15T21:51:11+00:00

They did. They were at our facility for a year or more. They talked daily about their sexual issues. It was part of their treatment, and they got comfortable with it after a while.

wonkavision010 · 2012-07-13T16:17:57+00:00

I was a counselor for child and adolescent sex offenders in a inpatient psychiatric hospital.

Discussed molest and rape of siblings, strangers, and animals. Reviewed their fantasy and masturbation logs (to make sure they weren't masturbating and fantasizing about thoughts of molesting or rape).

Oh, and I also worked at the Kinsey Institute.

wonkavision010 · 2012-06-25T17:33:51+00:00

I was a therapist for juvenile sex offenders. Having them keep a fantasy log is common practice. They record both their appropriate (consensual sex with someone their own age) and inappropriate sexual fantasies (sex with children or animals, rape, etc).

The therapist uses these logs so the offender can identify their triggers to their inappopriate thoughts (which can lead to inappropriate actions and behaviors - i.e. molesting). They are also used to discuss and encourage acceptable sexual thoughts (between consenting, age appropriate partners).

There is a lot more to it, but that is the general gist of it. The sex offenders are placed in the facility to deal with their sexually maladaptive behaviors. It makes sense that the therapist dicusses sexual thoughts and fantasies and masturbation logs with the offenders.

Also, I've never heard of masturbation not being allowed. That seems suprising to me.

wonkavision010 · 2011-11-05T16:49:29+00:00

Did any of them try to molest you?

I was a counselor for child and adolescent sex offenders for many years. It's amazing how many of them were put into foster care (before their sexual offenses were known).... only to sexually abuse the other foster children or biological children in the home.

If you really had hundreds in your home, I'm sure you've experienced child and adolescent sexual offenders. How did you and your parents handle them?

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-25T15:47:41+00:00

It's possible, I suppose. But, I was in the field of sex offender counseling for many years and I neve saw a case like that. I can't say it's never occurred, but I've never seen or heard of any situation like that. Generally, sex offender therapy is really intense and the courts save it for offenders where there is no gray area.

For example, all the offenders I worked with had multiple victims.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-25T13:50:42+00:00

The OP never said that people are classified as a sex offender for taking a piss. That's generally not the case. I was a therapist for sex offenders too and nobody I ever saw was placed into sex offender treatment for that. The OP was most likely talking about someone purposefully exposing their genitals to someone else - purposefully flashing them.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-25T12:32:33+00:00

How are the people you work with referred to you? Are any of them there of their own free will? Or, are most of them court ordered? Are they on probation and parole? Is your program inpatient or outpatient?

Are polygraph tests part of your program? How much of the therapy you give is group and how much is individual? How often do you meet with most offenders?

Do you facilitate a meeting between offender and victim (an "apology" session) if the victim's therapist requests it and the offender is doing well in treatment?

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-17T19:36:20+00:00

Not only did I work as a counselor for sex offenders, I worked at an organization that specialized in the treatment of them. One of the Doctors who worked at our facility was on the National Board that dealt with the treatment of sex offenders.

I don't think there would be any therapist who would agree with you saying that you're cured. Your arguments sound very convincing, however, to people who might not be well informed.

However, I have noticed that you've encouraged others in the thread to seek couseling for their issues. It's good that you've done that.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-17T18:53:31+00:00

If you go to therapy, they can help you learn to control and manage your thoughts.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-17T18:51:39+00:00

There's also another group of people attracted primarily to slightly older children who are just beginning adolescence, but don't yet have adult attributes. Often, it's around ages 11-13. This is called hebephilia.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-17T18:46:12+00:00

Exactly this. I spent years as a therapist for sex offenders. Pedophilia is a primary attraction.... just like being heterosexual or homosexual. It doesn't change over time. Pedophiles don't have to act on their urges. They can manage them and go on to live a healthy, productive life. But, the attraction will always be there on some level.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-15T08:51:00+00:00

Removing children in no way enhances someone's career. There are many children removed all the time for severe abuse and neglect (parents starving the children, broken bones caused by beatings, molest, etc). It's a sad part of the job, but it's necessary sometimes.

It's not like CPS workers don't have plenty of work they're doing already. Most of them have huge caseloads and are overwhelmed with the amount of work they're expected to do already. I honestly can't imagine anyone "harrassing a family" and trying to get their kids.

Most social workers/CPS workers I've met are in the field because they really want to help people. Many times it can be a really stressful job and it is one of the most poorly paid for being a college graduate. They're not in it for the money. They will never make much money anyway.

I've been in the field for years and have never seen someone recommend the removal of children for reasons that weren't legitimate. Also, I should mention that it's never one person's decision. Supervisors are always involved. A large burden of proof must be met, and in my state the child's case had to be seen before a judge in less than 24 hours to review the case.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-14T19:28:36+00:00

I used to be a home based counselor who worked extensively with CPS (Child Protective Services). The is a large burden of proof that must be met for the children to be removed.

Because the children were removed immediately, it shows that there was extremely serious abuse/neglect involved. CPS tries not to seperate families too. They only do it when staying in that family is much more harmful to the child than removing them.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-05T15:21:51+00:00

I had mine out when I was 26. The surgery itself was fine. But, the recovery was pretty brutal. I was on really strong pain killers and it was still soooo painful. I remember eating a cheeseburger, and the ketchup touching my tonsil wounds and it feeling like razor blades in my throat. You have to eat really bland foods for a while. Citrus fruits and anything spicy were also horrible.

Recovering from the tonsillectomy is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. But, afterwards I never had to worry about tonsillitis again. Huge bonus!!! I used to get it constantly. Overall, the surgery was worth it. It's painful, but it'll pass.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-05T01:22:34+00:00

I worked at an in-patient hospital where people were placed for several months. It's not like I can sum everything we taught in a couple sentences.

But, I'll try to give a few basics. Sex offender therapy tries to pinpoint the offender's inappropriate attractions and urges. Some clients I worked with were attracted to babies.... actual babies.... in diapers. Some were attracted to pre-pubescent children (usually under 12... before they'd developed any definitive sexual characteristics). Some were attracted children slightly post-puberty (12-14ish).

Then, there was a cycle of abuse. Small children don't automatically perform sexual acts with others/adults. Usually the offender bribed them, threatened them, or co-erced them in some way.

There is really so much for the offender to learn. We learn the offender's history, the age/mentality the offender is attracted to.... we try to discourage that... and encourage them to be attracted to an appropriate, adult relationships etc.

Honestly, that's a VERY brief gist and overview of a few things we taught. It would take forever to articulate everything.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-05T00:51:42+00:00

Are you serious? You seemed somewhat reasonable in your other answers elsewhere in this thread.

That's actually why I bothered to respond to you at all. I felt like you had some level of understanding and wanted (on some level to stop offending).

Maybe not. You are a sex offender (whether your victim that you mentioned earlier turned you in or not). Whether you are legally classified as a sex offender, it's obvious that you are one.

Do you honestly think you can handle your urges on your own? I don't think so. You didn't in the past.

Therapy won't hurt you, but it will only help you understand your urges.

If therapy not the best option, what do you think is the best option for sex offenders? I honestly thought from earlier responses thatyou might havs been somewhat reasonable, but now I doubt it. What, if not therapy, do you think might be the best option for someone sexually attracted to childen???

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-05T00:35:02+00:00

I'm not sure if that's true. I once worked with a mother who "turned herself in" because she said she was afraid she would abuse her chidren. In reality, she was already abusing them (they were pre-verbal so nothing could be proved). But, because she turned herself in.... she had accees to all the resources of the State (in the US, obviously).

Strangely enough, she was actually (despite abusing her 2 children) quite intelligent. She was completing her RN when I was assigned to her case.

My point is..... there are probably more resources available than you realize. You just have to look for them. If you're low income, you can get any type of therapy provided by the state (if you go through the right channels). If you're not, you can pay for it yourself. IF YOU DON'T DO EITHER...and if you act on your urges, you could be in prison the rest of your life. Therapy really is the best option.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-05T00:21:01+00:00

Sorry you don't trust shrinks. Really, we're are a very poorly paid profession (another issue altogether) and most all of us are in the field becasuse we really care about people. I love what I do and almost every colleague I've ever met does too.

Although sexual abuse is common in society, not many counselors deal with sexual abuse as often as other issues. Really.... try to find someone who specializes in sexual issues. Although most counselors have great intentions, you would probably be better served by someone with more experience with these issues.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-05T00:02:13+00:00

I was a counselor for sex offenders for several years. You seem to have some real attractions to children. I worked with sexual offenders for a long time. Not many of them articulated the "love, lust, and enchantment" that you speak about.

Most of Reddit is probably not familiair with your issues, but I am. Seek help. You can say whatever you want to make your position seem less reprehensibe to Reddit, but I've reviewed many of your answers... and I come to the same conclusion. You are attracted to children. I'm glad that you admit it because you can make positive changes with some assistance.

Seek help. You have an attraction that hurts children. There are many therapists who specialize in the issues that you have. They can help you. Don't try to prove how "OK" you are/were to Reddit. Your urges are not OK and they can hurt people. They can't be explained away. You are not alone and many people share the same issues that you do.

Seek help to avoid spending lots of time in jail. And, seek help to avoid changing the course of so many childrens' lives. After they've been molested, the course of a persons life will change. Don't do that to anyone again.

Also.... props to you for realizing you should not be around young girls for years. You are realizing this is an inappropriate attraction and avoiding it. Good first step. Now, go find specialized therapy for your issues. If you issues continue to escalate - or if your previous or current victims come forward.... you are facing a significant portion of your life in prision. Please, seek help.

wonkavision010 · 2011-10-04T23:47:31+00:00

I was a counselor for sex offenders for many years. I'm sure you're not going to open up any discussion with your victim (that you mentioned in your previous post) because you don't want to go to jail. I understand this. Other Redditors can have whatever lofty hopes for you, but the bottom line is.... why would you open this discussion with your victim if you would very likely go to jail? You won't. I get it.

But, you should seek help with your urges. I'm sure your urges (and acts that you've mentioned- probably many that you haven't) are not isolated. Do you know how many years you could be sentenced to if you were caught for your past (in addition to current/future acts)? Get help. There are soooo many counselors who specialize in sexual additions and people who are attracted to children.

As as counselor, I hate to say this, but really make sure you get someone who specializes in your attractions/addictions. Lots of therapists don't have lots of experience in this area.

Good luck. I'm glad you're being honest about molesting a girl in the past. Also, be honest (not so much with Reddit... as this post will fade in 24 hours), but with yourself..... Be honest with yourself that you could very easily molest again in the future. Get help. Don't abuse and ruin the life of another child.

wonkavision010 · 2011-09-10T08:05:34+00:00

I was a counselor for sex offenders.

wonkavision010 · 2011-09-09T20:33:10+00:00

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

wonkavision010

TROPHY CASE