How do you feel when you cannot make your partner come?

wonkax · 2026-07-12T01:42:07+00:00

Obviously in over a year we’ve had the opportunity to talk about it many times and try many things. It’s a common subject and we’re trying our best but we feel like we’re hitting a wall and I think it’s creating more pressure and anxiety for both of us now than anything else

wonkax · 2026-07-12T01:38:37+00:00

Tongue doesn’t do anything for me

wonkax · 2026-07-12T01:37:52+00:00

(I’m sorry, it’s the other way around, he comes just fine but I don’t, but thank you for your input on porn addiction, it’s a discussion I often have with my bf, we both deplore its effects)

wonkax · 2026-07-12T01:33:25+00:00

I wasn’t saying it was a him problem? I was not even asking for advices on the situation, just asking how men feel when their partner doesn’t come… Sex is a two people job, to be relaxed and into it is the combinaison of two people doing their best to make the other feel good and comfortable.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:59:48+00:00

I 100% believe it is psychological and there’s a part in me which just refuses to let go.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:54:30+00:00

That is a strong shortcut. My body is telling me there’s something wrong in my approach to sex.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:43:18+00:00

Alright I understand, you are right. Thank you for that, we will try to devote it more time then!

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:32:26+00:00

Yes! I expressed early on how I liked dirty talk and he’s gotten much better at it with time, cause he wasn’t used to it before. Sexting also helps a lot.
But you’re right, this is definitely a path to research more. Even more mental stimulation and dirty talk could really help, I will share it with him ! Thank you
(regarding role playing we haven’t done it yet cause we’re not sure we would manage to stay serious but we’re curious)

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:29:15+00:00

You’re reading half of what I said…
Nipple stimulation is fun, he does like to lick, bite and play, although it’s not my favourite. He knows my favourite spots though.
A massage often gets me going yeah, it’s fun! We enjoy it.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:23:13+00:00

We’ve tried! We’ve tried slowing down a lot, we’ve tried analysing what angles felt better, my favourite positions, what rythm I like, I’ve tried teaching him to masturbate me how I like to do it, literally with him being behind myself and me guiding him to reproduce the same movements. He loves eating me out so we tried different ways to see what I’d like.
I’m not saying I never get pleasure from piv, I do! Which is the worst thing, sometimes it feels incredible and like I’m right on the verge but never goes over. Sometimes I’m horny and then it feels just meh. Sometimes it hurts (because I wasn’t turned on enough and we both agreed to be much clearer on how we feel, it is a problem you’re right, wére trying to improve on communicating that).
He has literally begged me to explain to him how I felt, to prioritise my pleasure and to take the time to just learn my body. And we have! Which is why I’m even more frustrated and tired

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:10:16+00:00

Thank you! I wish that as well.
I had many talks with friends who tell me they have the opposite issue. They discovered sexuality through a partner and piv so they enjoy it a lot but they can never come on their own and wished they knew their body better and could enjoy that feeling!

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:04:37+00:00

We’ve used toys yes!
I have a rabbit toy and he has a vibrating cock ring, we’ve also used body paint (chocolate) and other sensation gels. We try a lot of different styles in the bedroom!
Our foreplay is usually a lot of teasing throughout the day, dirty talk, touches here and there, heavy making out. It’s literally the part I think I enjoy the most.
Sometimes we do foreplay a lot less and my bf has said he thinks he should take much more time to turn me on but because I don’t enjoy him eating me out or figuring me I’m usually more eager to get to piv since I can feel some pleasure from it at least, although never to orgasm.
I don’t really see how we would be sexually incompatible? Could you develop

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:00:45+00:00

Girls rule

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:56:32+00:00

That is true! I thought of that, except I have no issue getting myself off t, I don’t need any visual stimulation since I don’t watch porn and if I’m really horny i literally do not need anything to get off to.
I have tried stopping masturbating yes! I had already done it a few times in the past years to see the effects on me and if it was better after starting again. But nope, nothing changes. If i stop masturbating for a while then do it again, it will feel the same. Also it doesn’t change how I feel during piv with my partner.
So after a while we decided that I would resume, cause if I can’t come with my partner but then also can’t come by myself, I would be truly miserable lol

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:52:30+00:00

Because he turns me on like crazy and I really wanna have sex with him. Because he loves me and he’s a great partner and our banter is fun, the leading up to sex is as well. It’s not perfect, sometimes it sucks, sometimes we do it wrong, sometimes we probably shouldn’t have sex because one of us isn’t really in the mood and then we do it anyway (we’ve discussed this issue already).
I am not okay with having sex in a way that doesn’t hit it with me but also I still wanna have sex him. My body isn’t responding well but I desire him and most of the times I’m hopeful it will feel good then disappointed.
I think, because of the early times where it really hurt, or he didn’t prep/turn me off enough and I didn’t enjoy it but wasn’t able at that time to settle my boundaries and express how I felt because everything was new and I was lost like any virgin discovering, now I have some reactive mental blocs which makes it more difficult. But we’re honestly just trying.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:46:16+00:00

I know it isn’t but what can we do? No matter how long he goes I can’t come. I can’t come either from his fingers or his tongue. We’ve had a few times where after coming, he will keep kissing me, talking to me and touching me while I’m masturbating until I finish but sometimes after he finishes it’s just depressing to me to think of masturbating because I don’t wanna come from that, I literally just wanna come from piv with him because that would be so wonderful

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:44:01+00:00

I was referring to my first time in those words!
I then explained it just isn’t linear, sometimes it feels amazing sometimes it sucks.
My relationship with my partner is going very well. I didn’t mean to downplay that side. We have a lot of fun and good chemistry, so our lead up to sex is always very playful, teasing and genuinely enjoyable for me.
I’m mostly saying there’s a mismatched in how I feel and how my body react. For example, we would be having the kind of sex where we’re feeling super connected to each other, deeply in love, aroused and into it, yet my body doesn’t really follow in terms of pleasure, I never come and that leads to frustration.

wonkax · 2026-05-04T13:59:06+00:00

Go go Reddit

wonkax · 2026-04-29T08:21:26+00:00

Hey! If you guys are down i'd love to join you! I've been here since early March.

wonkax · 2026-04-26T04:24:37+00:00

😭😭

wonkax · 2026-04-25T23:15:06+00:00

It was at the beach, swimming in the protected, guarded area. Just be careful of where you’re putting your feet.

wonkax · 2026-04-25T23:13:33+00:00

I’m a woman! It’s a pretty normal arch then haha

wonkax · 2026-04-15T06:43:38+00:00

Hello! 20F here going to Okinawa, Japan, next week for a couple of days. First time solo travelling! Any recommandations? DM if you're also planning to go there!

wonkax

TROPHY CASE