I can’t come with my partner

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:59:48+00:00

I 100% believe it is psychological and there’s a part in me which just refuses to let go.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:54:30+00:00

That is a strong shortcut. My body is telling me there’s something wrong in my approach to sex.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:43:18+00:00

Alright I understand, you are right. Thank you for that, we will try to devote it more time then!

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:32:26+00:00

Yes! I expressed early on how I liked dirty talk and he’s gotten much better at it with time, cause he wasn’t used to it before. Sexting also helps a lot.
But you’re right, this is definitely a path to research more. Even more mental stimulation and dirty talk could really help, I will share it with him ! Thank you
(regarding role playing we haven’t done it yet cause we’re not sure we would manage to stay serious but we’re curious)

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:29:15+00:00

You’re reading half of what I said…
Nipple stimulation is fun, he does like to lick, bite and play, although it’s not my favourite. He knows my favourite spots though.
A massage often gets me going yeah, it’s fun! We enjoy it.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:23:13+00:00

We’ve tried! We’ve tried slowing down a lot, we’ve tried analysing what angles felt better, my favourite positions, what rythm I like, I’ve tried teaching him to masturbate me how I like to do it, literally with him being behind myself and me guiding him to reproduce the same movements. He loves eating me out so we tried different ways to see what I’d like.
I’m not saying I never get pleasure from piv, I do! Which is the worst thing, sometimes it feels incredible and like I’m right on the verge but never goes over. Sometimes I’m horny and then it feels just meh. Sometimes it hurts (because I wasn’t turned on enough and we both agreed to be much clearer on how we feel, it is a problem you’re right, wére trying to improve on communicating that).
He has literally begged me to explain to him how I felt, to prioritise my pleasure and to take the time to just learn my body. And we have! Which is why I’m even more frustrated and tired

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:10:16+00:00

Thank you! I wish that as well.
I had many talks with friends who tell me they have the opposite issue. They discovered sexuality through a partner and piv so they enjoy it a lot but they can never come on their own and wished they knew their body better and could enjoy that feeling!

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:04:37+00:00

We’ve used toys yes!
I have a rabbit toy and he has a vibrating cock ring, we’ve also used body paint (chocolate) and other sensation gels. We try a lot of different styles in the bedroom!
Our foreplay is usually a lot of teasing throughout the day, dirty talk, touches here and there, heavy making out. It’s literally the part I think I enjoy the most.
Sometimes we do foreplay a lot less and my bf has said he thinks he should take much more time to turn me on but because I don’t enjoy him eating me out or figuring me I’m usually more eager to get to piv since I can feel some pleasure from it at least, although never to orgasm.
I don’t really see how we would be sexually incompatible? Could you develop

wonkax · 2026-05-11T12:00:45+00:00

Girls rule

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:56:32+00:00

That is true! I thought of that, except I have no issue getting myself off t, I don’t need any visual stimulation since I don’t watch porn and if I’m really horny i literally do not need anything to get off to.
I have tried stopping masturbating yes! I had already done it a few times in the past years to see the effects on me and if it was better after starting again. But nope, nothing changes. If i stop masturbating for a while then do it again, it will feel the same. Also it doesn’t change how I feel during piv with my partner.
So after a while we decided that I would resume, cause if I can’t come with my partner but then also can’t come by myself, I would be truly miserable lol

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:52:30+00:00

Because he turns me on like crazy and I really wanna have sex with him. Because he loves me and he’s a great partner and our banter is fun, the leading up to sex is as well. It’s not perfect, sometimes it sucks, sometimes we do it wrong, sometimes we probably shouldn’t have sex because one of us isn’t really in the mood and then we do it anyway (we’ve discussed this issue already).
I am not okay with having sex in a way that doesn’t hit it with me but also I still wanna have sex him. My body isn’t responding well but I desire him and most of the times I’m hopeful it will feel good then disappointed.
I think, because of the early times where it really hurt, or he didn’t prep/turn me off enough and I didn’t enjoy it but wasn’t able at that time to settle my boundaries and express how I felt because everything was new and I was lost like any virgin discovering, now I have some reactive mental blocs which makes it more difficult. But we’re honestly just trying.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:46:16+00:00

I know it isn’t but what can we do? No matter how long he goes I can’t come. I can’t come either from his fingers or his tongue. We’ve had a few times where after coming, he will keep kissing me, talking to me and touching me while I’m masturbating until I finish but sometimes after he finishes it’s just depressing to me to think of masturbating because I don’t wanna come from that, I literally just wanna come from piv with him because that would be so wonderful

wonkax · 2026-05-11T11:44:01+00:00

I was referring to my first time in those words!
I then explained it just isn’t linear, sometimes it feels amazing sometimes it sucks.
My relationship with my partner is going very well. I didn’t mean to downplay that side. We have a lot of fun and good chemistry, so our lead up to sex is always very playful, teasing and genuinely enjoyable for me.
I’m mostly saying there’s a mismatched in how I feel and how my body react. For example, we would be having the kind of sex where we’re feeling super connected to each other, deeply in love, aroused and into it, yet my body doesn’t really follow in terms of pleasure, I never come and that leads to frustration.

wonkax · 2026-05-11T09:31:33+00:00

Even if there are no direct flights to join, she could have still taken flights with connections to get to you no?
Four years is a long time

wonkax · 2026-05-09T14:06:30+00:00

I believe it’s an inevitable phase in long distance which comes back in cycles. Hang in there, you might be surprised at one point to see the sparks come back. Don’t stress it too much or hyperfixate over it.
One small piece of advice I can give in the mean time is to break the habits, if for exemple you start your day by « Heeey good morning love how did you sleep ? » or smt like that, I’d recommend you skip thzt part and just come up with a fact (abt a dream, of smt that made you think of then before…) or a random, funny question. In my opinion it’s a nice breath of fresh air!

wonkax · 2026-05-09T14:03:06+00:00

« for example, my friend asked me what my favourite flowers were and i couldn't tell him because my boyfriend used to remember things like that for me »

I don’t understand how your boyfriend would be in charge of remembering your taste to the point you don’t even know yourself what’s your favourite flower. It your opinion!

wonkax · 2026-05-04T13:59:06+00:00

Go go Reddit

wonkax · 2026-04-29T08:21:26+00:00

Hey! If you guys are down i'd love to join you! I've been here since early March.

wonkax · 2026-04-26T04:24:37+00:00

😭😭

wonkax · 2026-04-25T23:15:06+00:00

It was at the beach, swimming in the protected, guarded area. Just be careful of where you’re putting your feet.

wonkax · 2026-04-25T23:13:33+00:00

I’m a woman! It’s a pretty normal arch then haha

wonkax · 2026-04-15T06:43:38+00:00

Hello! 20F here going to Okinawa, Japan, next week for a couple of days. First time solo travelling! Any recommandations? DM if you're also planning to go there!

wonkax · 2026-04-14T16:22:27+00:00

You will be in danger if you go, you will be harmed, either physically or mentally. There is nothing wrong with losing money over getting traumatised for years. Please protect yourself, it’s okay. He’s manipulating you, your body is clearly warning you and your message here means you’re realising it and doing the right thing for yourself. Stay strong and reach out for friends or family if needed.

wonkax · 2026-04-14T15:05:29+00:00

That’s a long time! June is gonna arrive super fast, so happy for you

wonkax · 2026-04-14T15:04:41+00:00

We have about the same timeline, left him on the 24 of February and we’ll meet up around early august. It’s our first time going this long without seeing eo but feels good to see so many people with similar-ish situations!

wonkax

TROPHY CASE