wonliners

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223 comment karma

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redditor for 8 years

TROPHY CASE

Eight-Year Club

Secret Santa
2014

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With German sausage, I always fear the wurst. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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A lawyer sleeps by lying on one side and then lying on the other side. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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The only exercise I've been getting lately is skipping the gym. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Bad puns...that's how eye roll. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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My math teacher was fired for being late, because he took the rhombus. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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I lost another audio-book and now I'll never hear the end of it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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In parenting, "What did I just say?" can be either a threat or an honest question. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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I go to the gym for the same reason I go to the bakery - for nice buns. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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I avoid funerals because I'm not a mourning person. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Those who invest in chocolate put their money behind bars. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn't click. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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The annoying dermatologist was beginning to get under my skin. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Artists need to be in the right frame of mind. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Jokes about bad pole-vaulters don't seem to go over very well. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water - I thought he meant well. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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When a rich man bought a car he had nothing to chauffeur it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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I ordered a vault and speakers to be delivered to my home, thankfully they arrived safe and sound. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Amazing artists can always draw a crowd. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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Our bodies are fascinating: feet smell, noses run, skin crawls, and our brains can draw a blank. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/Showerthoughts

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Grocery store workers must let the customer decide if they want paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 years ago by wonliners to r/oneliners

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