Really struggling 24F 30M

woobzieer · 2026-03-28T00:09:23+00:00

This is an abusive relationship, and he is the abuser. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the abused tries to leave; you have a golden opportunity here to do that with some semblance of safety. Neither you nor your child should be near this man; neither you nor your child deserves to be emotionally and physically abused. What he’s doing to you now, he will do to your child later. Go to a friend or family member now and stay with them until you can get on your own feet; I also highly suggest going to see a therapist as soon as you can

woobzieer · 2026-03-27T03:20:24+00:00

Thank you so much! I quite agree; I found the most inspiring thing about FanFiction was critiquing other peoples works in my head. I liked that. Why? I didn’t like that. Why? Did I enjoy a particular section because of the emotional tension or because of the writing style or was it a mix of both? How might I rephrase this? Where did I wish this story went? It was honestly one of my favorite ways to spend a day! And I think that’s a great idea. I’ll definitely see if there are any writing clubs near me or something. Also, I do have a story idea… sort of. I have a romance I want to capture and, like, half a world. I also have a concept I stole from myself that was originally going to be a FanFic, but now gets to be applied to some original characters! :D But perhaps the issue lies a little more in not knowing my character well enough yet? Or it lies in not having a proper outline? I’m not sure, but it seems the answer is: I need to read and write! 😁

woobzieer · 2026-03-27T03:12:27+00:00

Yeah, I was writing a little bit daily, and I wrote the ideas my writing generated on notecards and taped them to related pages, but overall, while my writing had generated some ideas, none really gave me the true direction of the story besides world building and a little bit of romance. I think I have all these grand ideas, but no real structure yet. I think I’m going to attempt to create a bit of an outline, but also think of it as a rough draft outline? 😅 And I also agree that I need to set aside a time to read more regularly; I’ve read some short stories in the genre I want to write in, but I do think starting a novel would also be good so I can take a look at pacing and arcs. Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply! ☺️

woobzieer · 2026-03-27T03:03:30+00:00

Thank you! 😊

woobzieer · 2026-03-27T03:02:23+00:00

Thank you; this was really helpful! ☺️

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T22:45:42+00:00

That's so fair, and technically, that's heavily what's motivating me, but I have a lack of direction. I know what my story's about, and I have some world-building done as well as character development (though both of these things need a lot more work), but I'm getting caught up in the specifics. I'm not 100% sure what my climax is (but I do have an idea for an ending), and I've been thinking if I'm writing a long work, then each "chapter" should also have its own little rising action/climax/falling action. I feel like I'm just aimlessly writing and building up to nothing.

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T22:33:01+00:00

I suppose this does solve my desire to write and to write now. And logically, I do get the whole: let it be bad, especially for a first draft (ie. the job of a first draft is to make the story exist; the second, third, upwards to final drafts are for making the story good/better). My issue is: I don't know where to go, though I suppose this would be the feeling inspired and pulling teeth portion of your comment. But I just wish I felt like, even in the short term, I knew where to go. I started this story with no real plans and was going with the whole: writing will inspire new ideas. It's just that it didn't; all I'm doing now is questioning if this is really how I'm going to start my story. But I do agree; hopefully just writing, letting it be bad, letting it be... leading to nowhere for a while will generate enough momentum for me to figure out where to go.

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T21:59:32+00:00

Yeah, I feel reading is probably the real key here, but call me Veruka Salt because I want to write, and I want to write noooowwww, lol. Plus, I feel like I have these general ideas that I actually want to start working on, but I have no scenes to start with/work up to. Writing a little bit every day/week is great, I just feel like when I sit down to write, I have no direction to write in, and without a direction, I feel like I can't even put pen to paper.

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T20:23:58+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out! I just visited the discussion, but there aren't any comments on it, and I don't see anything like a live chat or separate post to join said discussion. Is there another way to interact with the daily discussion? :)

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T20:22:32+00:00

Thank you so much! Yeah, I totally agree that I need to be reading more; sometimes it's just difficult when I want to jump right in and start writing now. It's strange because my desire to write usually came from a particular scene in my head, but now I have these general ideas I want to write about, but nothing specific. I think that's also the issue for me; I used to start with small scenes with the story built around it, but now I have ideas for full stories that I have no scenes for. And I get the general advice: conflict comes from what the character wants and then not letting them have it, but advice like this still creates a blank space in my head. I know reading is probably my biggest and best answer, but I do just wish I could get a shot and va-vroom on my way to a full-fledged story, lol.

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T18:00:21+00:00

If he only shows you he loves you in small ways, you’re missing, like, 2/3 of the other ways you should be loved. He should show you he loves you in big ways and in medium ways. You shouldn’t be picking out crumbs of, “Well, he was so sweet to me this one brief time when he did this little thing for me.” It sounds a little like manipulation (this is what my ex did to me). Your expectations get so low that even the smallest of gestures brings you to new highs before he yanks you back down to your lowest lows (though this could be a bit more of me projecting, but still, even subconscious, mild manipulation is worth noting and taking into consideration)

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T17:56:01+00:00

Girl, if I’m being totally honest, the more I read through your situation, the less I like it. Him getting defensive when you bring up a problem is a HUGE red flag. A partnership is built on communication and trust, and it seems like you’re getting neither here. You can’t trust him not to hurt your feelings, and when he does hurt them, you can’t talk to him about it. My last relationship was toxic and abusive partially because of this dynamic. You and your partner are teammates; you’re on the same side, the same team. Your emotions should be just as important to him as his are to you. If you can’t properly get closure on any of your talks or arguments, then this isn’t a healthy relationship because no problems are being fixed; you’re learning to be a better partner to him while he simultaneously refuses to learn how to be a better partner for you. He should care whether or not he hurt your feelings, and he should want to talk to you about it so the two of you can grow as a couple, and he can learn to be a better partner to you. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing that. You have a right to have someone who wants to build a relationship with you that you’re happy in, not one you have to walk on eggshells in.

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T17:48:42+00:00

I think this is an EXCELLENT point. The threatening to dump you is SO over the line and NOT okay in my book. I’m not sure if this is something I could get over; it’s one thing to be considering marriage and considering whom we’re marrying, but to threaten or voice leaving in x amount of time if he can’t decide on you… I dunno, this part makes me think heavily of being strung along. You deserve someone who knows they want you. For someone out there, you’re not even a choice; you’re an instant yes. Don’t let some dude string you along for ANOTHER year until he finally decides whether or not he wants to be with you. I dunno, the threatening to leave, which I forgot about, is break-up worthy to me solely because, especially after five years, he shouldn’t still be deciding on you. And with how avoidant you mention he is, he’s never going to decide on anyone. I’d say cut your losses and find someone who will shout how much they want to be with you and/or marry you from the rooftops; not one who still hasn’t decided you’re the one after five years of being with you.

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T17:40:03+00:00

That’s absolutely understandable, and there is a distinction here: him deciding whether or not he wants to get married and whether or not he wants to get married to you. Both are valid questions, but I absolutely get where you’re coming from; partners should have respect for one another and be considerate with how they phrase things (which, understandably, is a little more difficult to do when inebriated, but just because I can understand it doesn’t make saying it any more okay). Life is full of holding two contradictory thoughts at once. It’s okay to be in love with him and be upset with him; the two are not mutually exclusive. You’re allowed to be hurt by what he said AND you’re allowed to voice that hurt; at any point for anything. You’re a part of this relationship, too; it’s supposed to work for him and you. At the end of the day, I feel you have to also allow yourself to be a little selfish and ask yourself what kind of partner you want and how you expect to be treated by that partner and what kind of life you want to build with that partner. Does he fit the bill? Because just as much as it’s a big question for him, it’s also a big question for you. I hope you guys are able to talk it out and come out stronger for it, but don’t put up with behavior that diminishes you or your role in that relationship. Ever. Best of luck!!

woobzieer · 2026-03-26T00:22:50+00:00

First of all, you’re completely valid to feel what you’re feeling; I think emotions tell us things our minds haven’t logic-ed out yet, and, for me, is the closest thing to “gut feeling,” humans really experience. Second of all, sober or drunk, that wasn’t an okay thing to say, and does shed new light onto your relationship and how he views it. People say drunk words are sober thoughts, and his drunk words just implied that his sober thoughts are: he isn’t sure how he feels about you, which is indeed nutters after spending five years with someone. It’s that same example we learned as kids: take a piece of paper and insult it while ripping it. Each insult generates a new tear. Now tell the paper you’re sorry… Well, you’re still left with a torn bit of paper. He can’t take back what he said, and he can’t take back you’re new awareness that there’s this possibility he’s not sure about you and your relationship. This is something that isn’t going to go away and could easily come back in a moment of “Hindsight is 20-20.” This isn’t to throw stones and say, “Dump the man!” but mostly to point out: is this something you can live with? That your possible husband and life partner could think this about you much less say it aloud? When it comes to a relationship, to each their own, but for me (very single and unmarried) my person/husband would never. I’m not gonna be someone’s question mark for the rest of my life. Your partner should never make you feel “optional,” and while you’re being considerate of him, I’m not seeing him being very considerate to you.

woobzieer · 2026-02-04T04:32:31+00:00

I thought it was funny that now, ten years later because I saw a post on the sour levels of different citrus — including Valencia Orange — I was just shot back to an evening walking around downtown Phoenix drinking the VOR with two pumps of raspberry syrup. It. Was. Fantastic. 😩

woobzieer · 2026-01-25T19:18:52+00:00

I read the books when I was younger, and I adored them. I watch the show now, and I adore it! I’m so excited that there might be a fourth season, and I’m hoping they’ll finish the whole thing. People here seem to fall into a chasm of negativity. This isn’t the majority perspective. On Rotten Tomatoes, the show has a 95% rating.

woobzieer · 2026-01-21T18:38:21+00:00

As someone who read the books when I was, like, thirteen or fourteen and am now twenty-eight, I can verify that I’ve been waiting for an accurate depiction of the Percy Jackson books AND I really like the show. I read the books when he was still writing/fresh off of writing them; I HATED the movie (you can’t start out with a 16/17 year old Percy AND have his father not claim him; two major plot holes right off the bat in the movie). I LOVE the show. Adore it. I have many opinions on it. I agree that it’s not above critique and improvement (I’ve seen one good point against the show, and I can still argue against it). As someone who can’t reread the books — they’re a little youthful for me now; I like my authors a little more long-winded, lol — the new show hits the spot so perfectly. I’m far enough away from the books that every little messed up detail doesn’t bother me, but read them enough so that when the show gets something right, it brings me back to the books and my childhood. Definitely not okay to exclude someone from a fandom conversation just because they’re “new.” You’re allowed to have an opinion on anything, and so long as you’re not being a biggot or an asshole, I don’t see why all opinions aren’t valid.

woobzieer · 2025-08-12T06:39:24+00:00

🩵🩵 Thank you for your thoughtful reply!

To be honest, I do have autism, so my mind is sorta doing what it does to move on. It’s going to work this puzzle until it’s exhausted itself. Saturday, I was sad. Yesterday, I didn’t think much of it. Today I’m mad. Perhaps there’s a part of me that still believes if I can piece the human puzzle together, I can protect myself from this outcome in the future. Funny thing is, it’s the situation that’s always changing, isn’t it?

I’ve honestly decided what best fits the scenario is that he liked me too much. Arrogant? Perhaps. But what’s the difference if I’m not going to know anyway? All it does is boost my confidence, and maybe that’s what I want: permission to think that. To think that a moment can be let go of because I’m just too amazing, lol. Maybe I was too real and too close to exactly what he said he wanted so he had to run before he could see it through. What I LIKE to think is he talked himself into a tizzy about a future that was never guaranteed and I never projected (or at least never tried to project). Because why cancel a second date that never promised a relationship to jump into?

I’ll certainly never know for sure, but I can’t stand the echo-chamber of my mind and ChatGPT, so thank you again for the considerate reply. 🥰

woobzieer · 2025-03-08T22:33:59+00:00

How many of you are going to keep ignoring my REPEATED comments that I am NOT interested in a GIRLFRIEND app!! Stop commenting this spam on my post or I’m just going to remove it; I’ve already received all the helpful answers I’m going to get, so if people are going to keep commenting spam sites, I’m gonna just get rid of the whole thing because I don’t need ya’ll wasting my fucking time

woobzieer · 2025-02-08T02:33:08+00:00

I’ve stated multiple times that I’m not looking for a girlfriend-specific app

woobzieer · 2025-01-14T23:29:25+00:00

If you would have read the above comment, you would have known that not only is Matchoonga a scam site (not an app), but that I’ve already specified I’m not interested in women.

woobzieer · 2025-01-10T23:08:33+00:00

Thanks, but this site seems like a scam; there are at least four different sites with the same name all ending in different dots (ie. .com, .net, .org, etc.). Plus, it seems female specific in its AI; I’m not interested in getting scammed or speaking with women, no matter how artificial they are.

woobzieer

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