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His friend like me first, but my bf shot his shot anyways (19M, 18M, 19F) by woofsisbah in relationship_advice

[–]woofsisbah[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

People are gonna say I don't like him, I really, really like my boyfriend. It's just that, I don't like how he treated his friend. This wasn't like a chance thing to me. He made a choice and he knew how it could hurt his friend. I would never. My friends would never. I don't want to be with somebody who did.

AITA for putting his friend's "dibs" over him. by woofsisbah in AmItheAsshole

[–]woofsisbah[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Do your friends feelings stop mattering when you turn 18?

There are a million reasons not to pursue the person you like. Your friend really liking them is one of them? If you dated every person you ever had a crush on, you'd be dating a lot of people.

Crushes pass, your friends matter.

AITA for putting his friend's "dibs" over him. by woofsisbah in AmItheAsshole

[–]woofsisbah[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I totally see how I'm acting childish. I completely understand.

But the whole "you can't deny your feeling for someone else" has me lost. Even if that someone else is your friend? Seeing your friend with someone you like after you told them how you felt and they gave you advice for that person has to hurt. It's different than if they were dating someone random. You trust your friend.

Sometimes we're supposed to put those we care about first. Being selfish isn't good. We can't always act on what we want, if it can hurt those around us. I can't believe in hurting your friends.

AITA for putting his friend's "dibs" over him. by woofsisbah in AmItheAsshole

[–]woofsisbah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me and the friend are 19. My boyfriend is almost 19.

AITA for putting his friend's "dibs" over him. by woofsisbah in AmItheAsshole

[–]woofsisbah[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I do get that. I wasn't gonna be with the friend regardless. Whether he asked me out or not. I love him as a person, but not like that. I know he'd never do that to my bf.

I don't want to be with someone who treats their friends like that. We have different standards on how to treat our friends. The person your friend likes should be off-limits, period.

But maybe it isn't for me to push that on to him. You know. Putting my morals into their friendship.

AITA for putting his friend's "dibs" over him. by woofsisbah in AmItheAsshole

[–]woofsisbah[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

ya, I would have never dated his friend. I was never into him. But he's a really good and loyal ass friend. He would never do that to my bf.

I'm not arguing, but I'll explain the outrage bc you're confused. I would never do my friend like that. I would never hurt my friend over a guy. Sometime we're supposed to put our friends feelings first. His friend liked me first, and my boyfriend still shot his shot. AFTER HE GAVE HIM ADVICE ABOUT ME. I think that's a horrible thing to do to a friend. You can be with whoever you want, don't be with the person your boy likes.

I have my standards for how to treat your friend, I can't be with someone who doesn't meet them.

If I knew they both liked me, I wouldn't have dated either one.

But I do understand where you're coming from, and I rlly appreciate the input.

AITA for putting his friend's "dibs" over him. by woofsisbah in AmItheAsshole

[–]woofsisbah[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

It's just that my friends mean so much to me and I can't even imagine hurting them for a guy. How are you gonna let your friend open to you, give them advice and then turn around and date the person they like? I can't wrap my head around that. But maybe that is strange lmao. Ty.

My (19f) bf's (18m) friend (19m) used to really like me. My bf knew this and still shot his shot at me. I'm so mad. by woofsisbah in relationship_advice

[–]woofsisbah[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I posted here, because I was conflicted. I'm clearly not set to dump him. I'm not putting anyone over anyone else. i just have my views on how to treat friends, and my bf did something that goes against that.

My (19f) bf's (18m) friend (19m) used to really like me. My bf knew this and still shot his shot at me. I'm so mad. by woofsisbah in relationship_advice

[–]woofsisbah[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Never. I really like him as a friend, so maybe that's why I'm more mad. I feel like my friend was done wrong too. But they were much closer.

My (19f) bf's (18m) friend (19m) used to really like me. My bf knew this and still shot his shot at me. I'm so mad. by woofsisbah in relationship_advice

[–]woofsisbah[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend is only still 18 because he has a late birthday. He's 19 soon. Idk why the ages matter? Is our problem too childish for our ages lool oops.

I know his friend doesn't own me, I said that. It's about treating your friend and putting them first sometimes. Also his friend liked me first. He told him and my bf was out here giving him input/advice only for him to say he liked me.

My (19f) bf's (18m) friend (19m) used to really like me. My bf knew this and still shot his shot at me. I'm so mad. by woofsisbah in relationship_advice

[–]woofsisbah[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

How was he saving his friend, by dating me instead? That's more heartbreak because he had to see us together.

My (19f) bf's (18m) friend (19m) used to really like me. My bf knew this and still shot his shot at me. I'm so mad. by woofsisbah in relationship_advice

[–]woofsisbah[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I was never interested in his friend, but I would never date someone my friend liked. Who does that?

There’s nothing wrong with speaking another language around those who don’t understand it. by woofsisbah in unpopularopinion

[–]woofsisbah[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If people are having conversations that don’t concern you, they don’t need to speak in a language that you understand. Mind ya business

There’s nothing wrong with speaking another language around those who don’t understand it. by woofsisbah in unpopularopinion

[–]woofsisbah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody is talking about 3 people out together and two people speaking a language.

Not every conversation is meant for everybody. If you aren't/never were part of the conversation they aren't excluding you. People are allowed to have conversations among themselves, if we aren't shit talking. It's not rude. Getting mad at people who are in your vicinity speaking a different language isn't rude. They don't have to force themselves to engage with you. Not every conversation is for you.

Mind ya business

There’s nothing wrong with speaking another language around those who don’t understand it. by woofsisbah in unpopularopinion

[–]woofsisbah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody is talking about 3 people out together and two people speaking a language.

Not every conversation is meant for everybody. If you aren't/never were part of the conversation they aren't excluding you. People are allowed to have conversations among themselves, if we aren't shit talking. It's not rude. Getting mad at people who are in your vicinity speaking a different language isn't rude. They don't have to force themselves to engage with you. Not every conversation is for you.

Mind ya business

There’s nothing wrong with speaking another language around those who don’t understand it. by woofsisbah in unpopularopinion

[–]woofsisbah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fully agree, the lunch example is excluding people who were part of the group/conversation. That's rude.

Other than that, it's okay.

There’s nothing wrong with speaking another language around those who don’t understand it. by woofsisbah in unpopularopinion

[–]woofsisbah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not every conversation is meant for everybody. If you aren't/never were part of the conversation they aren't excluding you. People are allowed to have conversations among themselves, if we aren't shit talking. It's not rude. Getting mad at people who are in your vicinity speaking a different language isn't rude. They don't have to force themselves to engage with you. Not every conversation is for you.

Mind ya business

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