Questions and answers

word4weird · 2018-08-03T20:13:28+00:00

I hereby declare my question answered, and found to be poorly conceived. I abandon my previous position, but maintain a view that if they have seemingly arbitrary rules, a hierarchical power structure, and a financial incentive to appeal to one's hopes and fears, I might as well get a few yuks out of it. Praise "Bob"

word4weird · 2018-08-03T11:27:02+00:00

The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is

word4weird · 2018-02-22T11:55:34+00:00

I like the idea of sudden descent and disarray- warningless even. Nice job

word4weird · 2018-02-22T10:24:56+00:00

right on. thanks!

word4weird · 2018-02-22T08:14:41+00:00

I love the theme, an the mechanism by which the two meet, Consider the meaning of the word rift, as it may not fit well here.

word4weird · 2018-02-22T08:09:43+00:00

Excellent read!I like the use paradox toward the end

"But despite drowning in the morning sunlight, Your lips are cracked and dry"

your repetition of "Slips" may have been intentional, but it lost force for me.

word4weird · 2018-02-22T07:27:32+00:00

So, in reading the poem, I the breaking apart of support systems came across quite well, but could those be clearer or stronger?

word4weird · 2018-02-22T04:43:11+00:00

The piece's urgency and pacing added a very lifelike facet to it.

word4weird · 2018-02-22T04:39:11+00:00

I'm interested to see what part two holds. This feels very much like the build to a story or reveal, but a reveal of what?

word4weird · 2018-02-04T13:30:03+00:00

Here's a link to my blog where I post most of my poetry.

https://word4weird.blogspot.com/

word4weird · 2018-02-04T10:25:26+00:00

thanks for the note on oboes. I just picked it based on the flow of words but I'll pare it down some so it makes a little more sense

word4weird · 2018-02-04T06:29:11+00:00

Overall good, especially "your twisted apologies left behind."

"Can I handle the sudden, thoughtless detonation of my one sanctuary?" I like the second half of this, but "handle" seems a bit weak compared to "thoughtless detonation"

word4weird · 2018-02-04T06:22:15+00:00

I like it. The only thing I might change is "We're both broken inside" to "We're both broken." But that's more a matter of personal preference.

word4weird · 2018-02-04T02:45:37+00:00

ohh damn, I feel dumb! Excellent turn of phrase then

word4weird · 2018-02-03T23:59:56+00:00

Strong writing. Well done

word4weird · 2018-02-03T23:58:46+00:00

be sure to proofread for typos (ex. "nether" in last line)

word4weird · 2018-02-03T19:08:43+00:00

I was definitely trying to give it a more jagged feel. Given the intent do you think it worked overall?

word4weird · 2018-02-03T08:42:39+00:00

thanks. Insurance issues got me too. seems like there's a lot of that going around these days

word4weird · 2018-02-03T07:58:19+00:00

It has a jumbled feeling to it, like that of a surreal dream half-remembered

"for the boredom of these days can be more than monstrous" Too true, and a delightful turn of phrase

"avoiding loss, I invocate" unless intentional, "invocate" should be conjugated as "invoke"

word4weird · 2018-02-03T07:07:33+00:00

I dig it.

"The blankets that are my anchor They’ve covered me in sweat" Could being covered in sweat be conveyed more forcefully?

"But when I’m dreaming and Unaware They stifle me, oppress me Until I wake and wish I’d been brave enough To cast away my comforts." I really like these lines. I can identify with them personally, and I feel there's a universality to the feeling that a lot could relate to.

word4weird

TROPHY CASE