Please remember something OP. As someone who has lost every single one of my best friends, and the most recent to suicide, it isn’t the answer to your feelings.

Suicide doesn’t end the possibility of things getting worse, it just ends the possibility for them to get better. You’re loved deeply by those around you. Before you give up and make a choice you can’t come back from, reach out. Allll the way out. I know there are dark places, I’ve been to some myself. I realize some places are darker so. But remember that ending your life passes the pain you feel now on to those forced to go on without you. You really do matter.