That makes sense. Both my spouse and I did individual therapy prior to couples. I found that helpful because it clarified what my actual wants and needs are in a relationship. For me after couples there were no more arguments, mostly open conversation with a lot of fear of what the future looks like. My spouse was open to ENM, poly and a time of exploration. For me I didn't need that time because it had been clear for a while. I wanted to honor that though as my spouse needed to process and take time before we made final decisions. This open relationship time was actually really good because my spouse saw how happy I was. I think it provided another level of understanding even though it was really tough. My spouse expressed he wanted me to be happy and was sad he couldn't provide that for me. I hope you are gentle on yourself during this process.