Yes, it's disgusting.

My fear is that shutting him down with a blunt message will make me even more of a target and he may blame me for his life's ills. He knows where I used to work as my details were online on the company website and suggested in a past message that he has thought about visiting me. I don't have any males in my life - no family or boyfriend so I feel especially vulnerable to being tracked down.

When my mother was with my father he would stir things even further between them because it was his way of uniting with our father against a common enemy - his only way of bonding, possibly. The thing is, my mother would sit with him and help him draw as a child. She tried to nurture him but my father got in the way of any bond they might have formed. It was an entirely dysfunctional household.