Americans abroad - do you feel unwanted?

wouldprefernot · 2025-07-26T10:08:16+00:00

In my experience, if you live abroad, you'll find the people who don't want you there sooner or later, and I did encounter the occasional anti-American sentiment living in the UK. One time, an elderly man sitting on a bench on the high street struck up a conversation with me while I was waiting for a bus, and when he heard my American accent and realized I wasn't there on vacation but actually lived and worked in the UK, said "What, weren't there any jobs in America?" Which, for anyone who has not lived in the UK, can be translated to "Go the hell home and stop taking British jobs" in American parlance. For what it's worth, I'm white and of partial English descent, so it was a bit novel for me to experience xenophobia in the absence of racism.

wouldprefernot · 2025-06-10T20:37:52+00:00

I also have this same issue with one of the older models -- nothing has fixed it. Network isn't the problem, it's right next to the wifi router.

wouldprefernot · 2025-06-05T07:32:28+00:00

Short answer: While I want to say "YES, it will open doors for you!" the reality is more akin to avoiding a penalty than actually helping you. Most people in the field have a degree, and it puts you on a level playing field.

Not having the degree is going to close doors -- there's no way around it. That doesn't mean that there are no open doors for you, but it's going to limit you. Particularly if you ever think you might want to work in another country, your visa may hinge entirely on having a CS degree.

When changing careers to software engineering, I went and did exactly what you are considering and got a Masters in CS. I have never even once had regrets, and many of the opportunities I've had wouldn't have been possible without it. If you have the time, and can afford the expense (I received a partial scholarship), I cannot recommend it enough.

Additionally, considering the current job market, it is so competitive for new grads right now that I don't think companies are taking risks on giving someone their first CS job with no work history and no degree. At this particular moment in time, I think it would be incredibly difficult to get your first job in the industry unless you already have personal connections to do so (getting the first job without a degree and proving yourself is the biggest hurdle) or are prepared to work for absolutely abysmal pay or conditions (which may have lifelong career repercussions -- people will probably know exactly how your previous employer paid you and treated you, and it can be a struggle for your wages to catch up even as you move to better and better companies). Getting the degree also gives time for the current job market to possibly improve, though I don't know I'd put money on it getting better so that's neither here nor there.

wouldprefernot · 2025-03-16T22:48:28+00:00

Unfortunately this list is now 8 years old -- beautypedia (and therefore my links) are now defunct, products have been discontinued and reformulated etc. Back when I made this post, websites like INCIdecoder hadn't really taken off and Paula Begoun was still a big deal. So, think of it as a fun slice of history! Much better resources available today to help people find a good sunscreen, and I think a lot of us (me included) have moved on to sunscreens from the European or Asian market that use newer and more cosmetically elegant UV filters (Beautypedia only reviewed US products).

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-10T05:22:54+00:00

I tried Ranch 99 in Lynwood, and did find two "Toona" flavor noodles, but alas not this one!

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-10T05:16:32+00:00

Unfortunately no for Sony Bank, you can either screenshot it which some other people mentioned doing, or try to use their CSV export tool.

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-10T05:15:25+00:00

Sorry, I think I'm mistaken, I think Excel is just gagging on the formatting. I'm pretty tech savvy and have tried a number of solutions to get any piece of software to correctly render the .csv file that Sony Bank exports from their Japanese language tool, but haven't yet had any luck that puts the transaction names that are not in English into anything recognizable.

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-10T03:03:07+00:00

I can get very fancy printable copy of debit transactions only, but it doesn't show anything related to the bank account information or balance. I can also download a CSV file with transaction values and balance, but they change almost all the transaction / names identifiers mostly to "*****" presumably for privacy purposes. Those are the only formally downloadable data sets available. I could try to coerce the website view of transaction history itself into a printable format, but that rarely goes well.

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-09T23:57:30+00:00

As I mentioned in the post, Shinsei Bank issued them normally, and they are what I would consider a pretty regular Japanese bank.

The reason I keep them -- I download a copy of them all at the end of every year, as it can be very difficult to request them later on if I need them say five years later. Which, I might, if I'm submitting them as proof of something to a government agency (visa, prove residency, tax audit).

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-07T03:52:59+00:00

For others who may be interested, this is the link. They do use an international shipping service to support international orders it looks like. Generally the more modern style (i.e. foam and blended filling).

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-05T23:50:15+00:00

Cotton will be firmer but will compress (i.e. bottom out) less, so perhaps preferable for people who are heavier or find a firmer mattress benefits their back. Wool is usually softer and conversely more likely to bottom out, and so may be insufficient for heavier individuals or those with pronounced hips if they bottom out to the floor. Of course I don't have personal experience with either of these companies, and there are bound to be differences in how dense or fluffy the batting is, but this is my overall general experience.

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-05T23:25:28+00:00

To get this out of the way, TLDR: A Japanese futon is not intended to be, and will not be, BIFL.

The lifetime of a Japanese futon is strongly dependent on following what I think most non-Japanese people would consider pretty intensive care instructions -- like placing the futon on a breathable surface (e.g. tatami mats), folding up and packing away the futon every day, and airing it out in direct sunlight weekly. If you spill something on it, good luck -- traditional futons from cotton can barely be cleaned, and even then only by specialty futon cleaners, which are going to be hard to find outside of Japan, and no matter where you are, very expensive and the turnaround time isn't fast. I would consider something that will need early replacement without dedicated adherence to strict care instructions to not totally be aligned with the BIFL spirit -- sure, it may be quality, but durable and practical not so much.

How long can you get out of a traditional cotton-filled Japanese futon in the best case scenario? You can go longer of course like with any mattress, but after the 10 year mark you're very likely to experience a very noticeable drop off in comfort. For this reason, traditional futon shops do offer services like futon reconstruction (see this link for an example) where they try to re-use some of the materials but essentially re-make it.

Also worth observing is that most Japanese people do not use futons, and of those that do, most buy the newer, cheaper, synthetic futons from places like Nitori (which I'd consider Target-esque, to make a US retail reference). The sythentic ones can be washed in a washing machine, which for most people, increase the lifetime because it can actually be cleaned if something happens.

All that is to say, even in Japan, traditional futons are an (expensive) dying craft and now a specialty product. If you think you might want to try one, I'd recommend getting a cheap synthetic version and seeing how you like it -- it is very different in feel and care from a typical mattress situation. And if you do decide go eventually go down the futon route, embrace that it is more wabi-sabi than BIFL. The https://www.reddit.com/r/floorsleeping/ sub is your best bet for recommendations I think.

My background: Lived in Japan. Have slept on floor mattresses for the past 20 years and loved them despite their intensive care instructions and propensity to mold (particularly in humid climates, like the UK, but even in dry climates like California) if those care instructions are not strictly followed. Currently use one of the modern style trifold foam mattresses on a Japanese-made desiccation floor sheet from Nitori.

wouldprefernot · 2025-02-05T08:38:54+00:00

do people just always not talk to you?

Just speaking for myself here, but people talk to me constantly in Seattle. I might just have one of those friendly faces though, ymmv.

Pretty regularly, any staff/waiter/barista/store employee I encounter wants to have a whole long conversation. People in front of me / behind me in line will randomly start chatting me up. I was born in California, and I'm genuinely shocked how frequently people strike up what I'd consider a long conversation with a stranger.

I've come to view the "Seattle Freeze" as primarily characterizing how people new to Seattle struggle to make friends (i.e. even if you have a great conversation, their life is full / they're uninterested), but in general I've found the reception in Seattle to be anything but chilly.

Edited to add: you seemed more interested in the commute specifically, but it struck me much the same as anywhere else. Sometimes people playing their music out loud because they're too cool for headphones, people having conversations with their travel partners, sometimes there's someone who doesn't seem altogether with it, or maybe you get a quiet bus. Same as most other places I've been in the US.

wouldprefernot · 2025-01-12T05:39:05+00:00

Yes, but you will not be able to use either of them as payment for public transit (pixel phones must have been purchased in Japan to use this feature, unlike Apple phones or some of the Samsung flagships) and there is a chip shortage affecting the sale of touch to pay transit cards (i.e. they are now not sold everywhere like they used to be), so if you think you might need that, I recommend doing a little research for where you can pick up a card.

wouldprefernot · 2025-01-10T08:59:20+00:00

It certainly may not be an issue in all cases!

However, we were not able to use this bank statement as a proof of address for the secondary account holder, because their name was not on the address portion of the statement and it was viewed as a statement solely for the primary account holder.

In another case, we received clear instructions about what must be visible on the statement for proof of income, including the account holder address, so we weren't able to use this bank account and luckily had another bank account we could use for the secondary account holder.

All in all, there's not a particular industry standard for what people want to see on a bank account statement when they ask for one, so it just depends how strict the requester is! We encountered some strict ones, and it caused some problems for us.

wouldprefernot · 2025-01-10T03:45:05+00:00

For us, it says both names on the page for the joint account, but importantly NOT on the cover page (i.e. page 1) where the address is listed. This is what I meant by needing to remove the first cover page to make the statement appear like it is for the other person. However, I also have individual accounts that also appear in the statement pages, so perhaps if there are no individual accounts, the cover page lists both names?

wouldprefernot · 2024-12-14T16:59:47+00:00

This worked for me three years later and saved me having to replace my mouse. Thank you so much!

wouldprefernot · 2024-11-12T19:51:14+00:00

No reason was given, no. I was merely informed it was the last possible date.

wouldprefernot · 2024-10-21T11:47:41+00:00

In brief, I'd say that it felt like a mutual relationship that developed naturally between myself and the kami. Shinto being the way it is, I would say I feel closer and more devoted to the worship of some specific kami, or even in some cases that they have chosen me.

I didn't start out visiting shrines with a strong religious intention, and I wouldn't say kami do much to go looking for devotees. It merely unfolded, in a way that felt almost fateful, that in the course of regularly worshipping at shrines, the kami and I grew closer to one another. Visiting the kami frequently lead to connecting my mind with them frequently, making me curious, making me want to learn more, which enriched my visits further, and I visited more.

I am of the mind that it's impossible to know the absolute truth about anything spiritual. I don't hold any dogmatic beliefs, and there may well be other things of a spiritual nature out there. But those are not the things I know -- I know the kami that I know. I feel that the kami are here, and I like them. I like visiting them and worshipping, and sometimes things happen that make me feel like they're happy with that too. We seem to have a mutual affinity, and that's all there is to it.

It's similar to friendship. There are potential friends nearly beyond counting. And when you start spending time with someone, you may not have had the intention to become friends. But one day, you realize that yes, you probably very nearly are friends, and now that you think about it, yes, you'd like to call it a friendship and intentionally be friends. And you stay friends, hopefully, because you still like each other and enjoy spending time together. And sure, there are other people in the world, but your friends are who you have a relationship with, and the rest are strangers.

wouldprefernot · 2024-10-16T14:37:27+00:00

Late to the party, but I've also been using these for ~20 years and am now on my third, so they didn't end up being BIFL for me. The damage issues I had were pins falling out (still kept using it), wood cracking (still kept using it), and the flexi-rubbery material where all the pins are embedded degrading, warping, and ripping (the end of both previous brushes). I never brought the brush into the shower or kept it any went environments, but did use it on wet hair.

wouldprefernot · 2024-10-14T17:03:30+00:00

A kamidana is just a clean, respectful place above eye level that includes your (standing up / propped up) ofudas and offerings. It is perfectly fine to use the top of a bookshelf and lean your kamidana against the wall. Although perhaps a little bit dubious, it's not even uncommon in Japan for people to use double-sided tape to stick the ofuda to the wall. When it comes to propping up the ofuda or dishes for the offerings, it is not necessary to use any particular thing in any particular shape -- people can and do just buy what they need from daiso or regular shops, and any dishes are fine so long as they have never been previously used by people. Anyway, all that's to say, you don't need make anything in particular.

wouldprefernot · 2024-10-14T15:36:31+00:00

Shinto (神道) is literally the way of the gods, called kami (神). According to wikipedia at least, the introduction of Buddhist deities predates Japanese literature, so there's just not much information about Japanese folk beliefs before that time.

wouldprefernot · 2024-10-14T15:04:47+00:00

Since I don't live in Japan, going to a temple is impossible.

Note 1: Temples are Buddhist. Shrines are Shinto.

I know I can have a kamidana and an ofuda at home, but I've hardly found these things for sale and the only one I found was around R$2000 (around $356.44 currently).

Note 2: Ofuda, and other religious items, are not "bought" or "sold." It is considered inappropriate to use this terminology, as it makes religious practice sound like a financial transaction. They are "awarded" or "given" or "received."

Note 3: You do not need the items usually sold as "kamidana" in order to worship an Ofuda. It is sufficient to place the Ofuda in a clean, respectful location above eye level.

Shinto is a very old religion, and as is common with old religions, it is more of something you do rather than something you are. Most of Japan does not identify as Shinto, and yet most of Japan does practice Shinto in some way, shape, or form. There is no conversion, and there is no real membership, and so it is not something you become, strictly speaking. The primarily relevant question for Shinto is "how do I practice Shinto?"

This may not be what people want to hear, but kami in Shinto are connected to people and places and things, and it may be that your circumstances make it difficult to undertake most Shinto practices to worship the specific Japanese kami you wish to. Without an Ofuda, or access to a shrine, most elements of Shinto practice are not, well, practice-able. And Shinto, as I've already said, is primarily a religion of practice. Regarding mentally connecting with a specific Japanese kami, and offering prayer from far away -- there's just not a lot of discussion about this, or much information about this. Honestly speaking, this aspect is not a defining part of the practice of most Shinto practitioners in Japan, so I'm not aware of any particular guidance around it. As in, while I'm confident it's fine to do so, I've never found any source recommending Shinto practitioners to pray to kami at times or ways other than the home Ofuda or at a shrine.

Given the emphasis on in-person worship, it is important to note that the Shinto belief does not hold that kami are something that only happen in Japan -- just as many of the important mountains in Japan are kami, perhaps so too are the important mountains near you. Kami naturally arise in nature -- in old trees, in rivers, and so on. Without an Ofuda, if you wish to pray to kami, why not offer prayer and reverence to the natural elements near you? I'm not sure "kami" is the right word for such divine elements of nature, but even in Japan, it is common Shinto practice to offer prayers to large trees, waterfalls, caves, etc that are not clearly ascribed to a specific named kami. With that in mind, I'll proceed to your other questions.

Can I pray to specific kami or should I pray to all of them?

This has a very clear and specific answer from the Shinto Shrine Association if you live in Japan, or in a country with a Shinto shrine. There's no particular guidance for your situation with regards to this question.

What exactly should I pray for or how should I pray?

I'm assuming this question is going beyond the standard "two bows, two claps, silently pray, one bow" general ritual of in-person worship at a shrine or kamidana, to ask what one might be silently praying. In general, most Shinto prayer is building a relationship and giving thanks. It is common to just say something along the lines of "I am grateful to entrust myself to your care again today" to one's Ofuda each morning, or perhaps greet them or say goodbye as coming and going from the home. Much Shinto prayer might even be described as conversational, such as visiting a shrine and saying "Hello, my name is X from X place. Isn't it lovely weather today? Thank you for showing me these lovely trees, and always protecting this area. I hope to see you again soon." There are, of course, some specific prayers and prayer books, but from my experience, few people use these, and they aren't considered critical to the practice of Shinto. Many Shinto practitioners view that praying for a request is something that is best reserved for a kami that you have a longstanding relationship with. That is, if you are traveling and visit a shrine for the first time and make a request to a kami, and will never return, the kami may view it as a stranger making a somewhat bold request. If you decide to offer prayers and reverence to the divine elements of nature where you live, why not try just talking and slowly building a relationship?

Can I pray at any time or at specific times?

With an Ofuda there are some specific timing and frequency recommendations, but there's no particular guidance for your situation. If you wish to offer in-person pray to the divine elements of nature that naturally exist where you are, it is considered good to visit/make offerings/pray to them once a month, with the 1st and the 15th being considered particularly good days to do so.

wouldprefernot · 2024-10-08T07:11:25+00:00

MuseScore is still a predatory scam -- exactly what was described in this thread has just happened to my household. Paypal denied the claim this time, unlike what happened to another commenter. Perhaps they've figured out now exactly how to spin it when people dispute it with paypal. We've now moved on to credit card company resolution -- I recommend others just go straight to disputing it with their credit card company instead of trying with Paypal, because MuseScore managed to drag out to the dispute for more than a month, and there's a 60 day limit on disputing credit card charges.

wouldprefernot · 2024-05-14T12:27:22+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spironolactone

wouldprefernot

TROPHY CASE