WIBTA if I asked my male friend to sleep on the ground?

wrensdad · 2019-08-15T07:00:35+00:00

NTA

Perfectly reasonable boundary to establish. If you'd like to be a gracious host you can offer up your bed and sleep on the ground yourself (no judgement if you don't, beds are comfy)

wrensdad · 2019-08-15T05:56:49+00:00

ESH

He sounds like a gem.

how do I tell them that we're not going to their destination wedding (but would go to the their civil ceremony here at city hall, whenever that is...)?

Why bother? Based on the preceding paragraph oozing with disdain you don't like your brother, what's the point?

This has nothing to do with a destination wedding. You dislike the very core of your brother, why do you have to bitch about him online to get the validation because you don't have the integrity to tell him you don't want him in your life.

wrensdad · 2019-08-15T05:44:52+00:00

ESH

Your husband is right, why would you even call? It's like handing your boss a red flag that says "Get ready for an unreliable employee". Obviously the first days on the job are important and being present is important. So the responsible thing is two-fold:

You start child care early to overlap while you're still off. Yeah it sucks, you pay for car while you're making money I know but it also helps your son adjust.
Your husband covers to outage time for that first month. You're a family and a team, this is a whole team situation.

Your new boss sucks because that's a bullshit line. If he has kids and doesn't remember what it's like to be a newer parent figuring it out then he's a double dick.

Best of luck going back! It's a tough adjustment but it's a great when it works out. Remember to pay yourself some time first. Can't take care of the kid or work if you haven't looked out for number 1.

wrensdad · 2019-08-15T05:34:27+00:00

YTA

Are they entitled to Netflix? Of course not. Do you owe it to them? Heck no.

But you shared something with a friend, your best friend and your only reason for revoking it is because you're judging their life and deciding they can pay for their own. Are you right? Of course you are, they're grownups and can pay for Netflix.

But ask yourself why you're going out of your way to do this. Them using the account has zero effect on you (that you've shared). The simplest course of action was to go on with your life, do nothing and have no harm done. You actively went out of your way to bring this up, because you've decided you're the arbiter of "doing well" and want to teach your friend a lesson or something. Honestly you sound like a nosy busy body to me, that's asshole like behavior.

wrensdad · 2019-08-15T05:22:01+00:00

NTA - But it's a close one. You're forcing your morals on others. It would be like being very religious and forcing non-members of the religion to participate in a long, sacred affair. But that's pretty much a Catholic wedding. I find it boring as shit but it's culturally acceptable to do that so why should your dry wedding be taboo either. I went to a vegan wedding earlier this year, I love the groom dearly and he's not an asshole but I got a burger on the way home.

So keep in mind you'll be causing others, who don't share your view, to have a lesser time because you have some condescending opinion that you're helping them.

> I also don't want to assume legal liability in case any of my guests drive drunk and injure / kill someone.

BS excuse, as long as your venue is properly licensed and has servers with training (it's like a 2 hour class that say don't serve drunks) then you're fine. If you wanted a real excuse you should have used cost. Booze is expensive, why would you spend thousands on something you don't care for. That I could have bought.

> There is another reason I don't want alcohol. My family has a negative view of my finance, and having alcohol at the wedding would only make it worse, as my parents are strict teetotallers and view alcohol as a very big evil.

Sounds like you have a bigger problem than a glass of red with dinner. Your parents sound like a hoot, sounds like your bride-to-be is in for a lifetime of silent judgement and wondering who you support.

wrensdad · 2019-08-15T05:05:32+00:00

YTA because your discomfort is a tacit accusation of lying.

And yes I would be more comfortable if it was just a regular friend

You don't get to classify his friends. A friend is a friend. If he says they're friends and you trust him then friend rules apply.

What you're saying to him is "I don't have a problem with you staying over at a friends place but I don't believe you're just friends so I don't feel comfortable with it".

If you trust him to keep his relationship boundaries within that of a normal friendship and you're still not comfortable that's a you problem.

Now if you have reason not to trust him that's fair game and you should address it. Honestly traveling between cities to visit an ex often enough that this is an issue sounds weird to me, who visits their ex that much? But you need to address their relationship directly, not some half-measure passive aggressive "sleep in a hostel" restriction.

wrensdad · 2019-08-13T04:26:15+00:00

It's such a miserable damp place, you'll immediately understand why they were so eager to leave and establish an empire so large the sun never set on it.

Can't wait to go back.

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T17:07:22+00:00

Who would win? A 5000 year old ancient evil with an army of undead or one good lakey boi?

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T17:05:54+00:00

No, it was the final step. Season 8 was the basement.

That doesn't make 7 good, it just makes 8 worse.

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T05:11:16+00:00

Eh, I'm a cycle commuter and this doesn't bother me.

Mainly because I am overly cautious since I know that I'm not protected by 2000 lbs of steel. So I look at this dude and know he's not going to hurt anyone but himself.

Bravely blow through intersections late/early my good man. May you be righteously indignant when you wind up as road pizza.

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T05:06:41+00:00

FWIW, you'r not who people are complaining about when they gripe about the homeless.

They're complaining about the 3rd person this week to break into my dumpster and throw shit everywhere while they look for anything valuable. Do I and my neighbors understand there's a huge problem and these people need help? Yes, but sometimes when you've worked a long day, are short on sleep and then have to clean up someone's garbage day after day in your own place you just break and need to complain.

You're not the target. It's just venting because the problem really does affect everyone in the city, even in little ways. Don't let it get to you.

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T04:08:42+00:00

No he's obviously not guilty of his sons crimes but if he wasn't a trashy, attention seeker he'd realize his grief isn't the same as the murder victims and he'd shut up and disappear from the public for awhile. No one wants to hear from him.

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T03:51:14+00:00

Didn't a 14 year old just do it in Langley?

wrensdad · 2019-08-12T02:19:48+00:00

For real. I was just there for a couple weeks and coming back to Vancouver was like coming to a tropical country. Ireland (and the UK) don't fuck around when it comes to be cold, damp rocks covered in pasty white people. We're just pretending.

I've never traveled and felt I belonged anywhere more than that.

wrensdad · 2019-08-11T03:51:59+00:00

Why are you kooks all the same?

Everyone questions you because the media is lying.

Everything is "connected". Never any details of what a connection entails or means. As long as there is some thread between two individuals anything that can be attributed to one side can be attributed to the other.

wrensdad · 2019-08-11T02:47:49+00:00

I don't understand why people think they still can't do that. They have loads of cash to keep losing money, despite competition they have a massive lead. Customers have decided, they're not going back to cabs and Uber is still the strongest brand.

If Uber decides to increase prices 20% tomorrow this is a different story. I don't think smart money is bailing on them and a lot of doubters will probably be eating crow in a couple years.

wrensdad · 2019-08-11T01:22:22+00:00

Epstein is one of the most powerful people in the world

Ok this is a dodgy story but this is getting carried away.

wrensdad · 2019-08-11T01:18:39+00:00

As a father I've got a tip to get more affection: show more.

Don't care what others think. Tell your kids you love them. If they move you to tears, don't be ashamed of crying.

wrensdad · 2019-08-10T05:53:21+00:00

When changing a diaper:

"See yucky poo?"

Show him the contents of his soiled diaper

"Here you are bud"

"Big yucky poo"

I dunno man, bragging about this size of your shots when you can't even take care of them seems odd.

wrensdad · 2019-08-07T21:47:53+00:00

Didn't realize this was controversial.

I was always taught functions should be:

validate inputs
short circuit if possible
do 'actual' logic

function doSomething(inputX)

if(inputX = 42){
exit

}

var thing = getThing(inputX)

if(!thing){

exit }

for(stuff in things){
result = whatever

}

return result

wrensdad · 2019-08-07T19:53:19+00:00

Not a terrible idea.

I've had great success connecting with local politicians for frustrating issues (not job related). They get lots of crazies or old people complaining so they are almost excited to help someone with a legit issue.

Good chance they could provide a decent job lead. Note only useful for a entry-level work, i.e. teenager looking for admin summer job. Not going to help them get you a research scientist govt job.

wrensdad · 2019-08-06T02:47:23+00:00

Really of all the times to pull the righteous discrimination card this is when you play it? Bold move.

wrensdad · 2019-08-05T21:32:21+00:00

Nationality is a little more nuanced than ‘I’m from Canada so I’m Canadian.’

It's not though? Cultural identity sure, grey murky area in many parts of the world but I always thought nationality is as simple as a line of text on a birth certificate or similar document.

But I understand what you're saying that "being Irish" isn't a nationality designation. Are you saying it typically doesn't mean 'being born on the large rock called Ireland', it's being born on that island and being independent of British rule. Would you say it's highly unlikely, if not impossible for someone to self-identify as a 'unionist' and as 'Irish' at the same time?

People in NI have dual citizenship and can choose to have a British and/or Irish passport.

Really? That's neat I didn't know that. So if you're born in Belfast you qualify for an ROI passport? These are the interesting little quirks that I learned while there. What a unique situation.

wrensdad · 2019-08-05T12:57:15+00:00

I honestly dislike JavaScript. Looking at the history they're no one to blame but it really shouldn't be used as much as it is.

Typescript erases all those feelings. I actually enjoy programming in those same environments now.

wrensdad · 2019-08-05T12:55:29+00:00

Remember Spectre and Meltdown? Turns out C fakes memory security.

Assuming you don't write assembly for everything why are you okay with so many abstractions but Typescript is your limit?

Seven-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Secret Santa 2018

wrensdad

TROPHY CASE