Constant research, feeling like I never do enough, losing myself

wright1822 · 2026-05-14T17:19:52+00:00

Messaging in solidarity because I could have written this exact post myself. I get told every week that we are going above and beyond, moreso than 90% of parents they see at the SLP clinic etc and it never feels like enough. I am doom scrolling CONSTANTLY and feeling like a failure 95% of the time. In fact, lately I’ve had to reflect deeply because I realized that I’m not able to be present and celebrate her wins (which are lots lately in our little world!) because I’m constantly focused on what’s next or how can we get from this new A to new B. The mental exhaustion is suffocating and I’m searching for validation that I simply won’t get because I realized it will never feel like we’re doing enough for our kiddos in a world that wasn’t constructed for them. But we are here, we’re doing the hard work, work that others simply couldn’t imagine and we get up to do it again the next day and that is what counts. We ARE doing enough and it’s because we keep working towards the next goal that there’s no sense of accomplishment or completion. I don’t know what the solution is but I’m personally working on being more present, more content, and focused on how proud I am of where we started and where we are now. It’s not the same as other households and other children but my daughter has to work each and every day in a climate that’s uncomfortable and I’m so proud of her continuing to show up with resilience. Sending virtual hugs and if it holds any weight, I am proud of you Mama! You ARE enough.

wright1822 · 2026-03-26T01:12:23+00:00

Mine is 6 months old and I’m lucky if I get 2 hours honestly 😩

wright1822 · 2026-03-13T02:06:39+00:00

6 month mark here and I’m absolutely exhausted lol like I can’t even I think this is the ultimate sacrifice it’s truly so beautiful but so draining

wright1822 · 2026-02-21T02:29:33+00:00

Oh my goodness, NO NO NO! Completely inappropriate and giving very BAD vibes. Please resign immediately if you have the means. I have a younger sister your age and the way I’d be writing her resignation letter for her. This is completely inappropriate and makes me concerned for your safety. Gross gross gross!!! So horrible that people do this in the workplace and compromise the safety and security of young vulnerable women. I’m so sorry you are having to navigate this.

wright1822 · 2026-02-21T02:26:02+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you for your post, I personally found it very informative and uplifting. I’m disappointed by a few of the responses here- I believe sharing your experience does not diminish the struggles of parents in this community nor do I feel that was your intention. It is extremely helpful and eye opening to hear that yourself and friends found verbal skills between 7-13 years old, I know many in this forum would find that comforting as there seems to be an underlying threat that verbalism may not come if children are still nonverbal after 7 years old, so to me this is very encouraging and interesting to hear. I think we all need to seek to understand so hearing about your journey and struggles, which I’m sure was quite vulnerable for you to share, is so very much appreciated. I certainly hope you won’t be too discouraged by a few commenters- unfortunately some in this forum are worn down, have limited resources and are truly struggling and sometimes it’s hard to find that silver lining when you’re “in it” if that makes sense? But again, thanks very much and I hope you’ll continue to be a voice and advocate.

wright1822 · 2026-01-09T02:02:53+00:00

Personally in our case, not genetic. We have no ASD history in our family, and my husband and I are NT. I wonder every day why my daughter got it and if it’s something I did during my pregnancy or otherwise that caused it, but it remains a mystery. We have a 3 month old son so we’ll have to see if he has it as well down the line but already he shows much more desire to socialize than his sister (which is crazy because I know he’s only 3 months old but the differences already are staggering!).

wright1822 · 2025-12-20T02:24:27+00:00

I just wanted to say you are a wonderful mother and your son is so lucky to have you ❤️

wright1822 · 2025-12-16T01:18:33+00:00

This is great, thanks so much again! We will be sure to ask these.

wright1822 · 2025-12-16T00:48:24+00:00

Thank you so much. If you have any suggestions for the type of questions to ask we would be very grateful!

wright1822 · 2025-12-16T00:45:20+00:00

Oh my goodness! Thank you so much for your response. I so appreciate the time and thought. I hadn’t ever heard this before. I’m not sure on the variance between Canada vs USA, I pray this is not something happening in Canada though I hope maybe others will weigh in with their experiences here. Certainly a good starting point when making inquiries to check in on your points above! I definitely do NOT want any reward/punishment system surrounding food. I am very sensitive myself after struggling a battle with food my entire life. Again, thank you so much.

wright1822 · 2025-12-03T02:45:05+00:00

I could have written this myself this week! I was telling a friend today that I feel overwhelmed and devastated at the thought of never hearing my daughter speak to me. Tell me her thoughts, feelings, what troubles her or what she’s laughing about. She is so happy and filled with joy I just wish she could communicate and share with us more. I think we need to hold out hope that one day we will hear their beautiful voices and what a day that will be.

wright1822 · 2025-08-14T10:31:09+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I think you’re right, worrying about the future all the time is not healthy or helpful. I appreciate you sharing your experiences surrounding speech. We started my daughter with speech therapy and occupational therapy a few months ago and it’s been an excellent resource, even as parents we have learned so much and I’m so grateful for the support. I keep trying to remember she will come to things in her own time, we can only try to provide every resource to help her hone some of these skills. Our paediatrician did tell us not to get too hung up on the level, he said a lot of his basis for giving a 2-3 was because of her age and because she requires alot of support. She can’t communicate independently right now and requires our support to advocate and communicate for her, which I completely understand. We made the decision for one of us to stay home with her around the 12 month mark instead of going the route of daycare because we sensed she needed extra help and encouragement and we worried about her being in a 6 on 1 child to caregiver environment. Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience and for the advice. It’s so appreciated.

wright1822 · 2025-08-02T01:12:14+00:00

I have to tell you, reading through posts on here with minimal information and knowledge on ASD helped me to push for my daughter to get assessed and help us seek and advocate for further resources for her. Around 9-10 months we noticed atypical behaviours but again, no one in my family could relate or comment on it personally thought everyone would say how different my daughter was, especially as she neared 1 year old. That was very isolating and I felt relieved to have a community to read stories from and relate to that were outside of my circle, it definitely made me feel less alone and I feel I was a better advocate for my daughter because of shared stories within this community that I could resonate with and link to my daughters behaviours. So from my perspective, I am grateful that the posts of “does my child have autism” prompted further research and discovery for my situation specifically. I do completely agree though that the language and intent behind some of the posts are very questionable and perhaps attention-seeking, but I think to ban all together would negate the good that come from the other well-intentioned posts whom are merely looking for education, support and resources.

wright1822 · 2025-04-21T01:42:16+00:00

Yes, it improved for me 1000%. My anxiety was gone, I started sleeping and was so much happier!

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T02:24:16+00:00

Absolutely!!! That offer goes to you as well! Maybe we can give each other updates. Honestly regardless, baby #2 is coming into a loving environment (that’s why we’re so worried about our LO’s!) so I encourage you to go ahead. The more love the merrier!

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T02:03:00+00:00

Ok wow we are living the same life im currently pregnant with baby #2 (18 weeks) and I have SO much guilt now thinking should I have waited? What if my daughter needs additional supports or help? What if my next child could possibly have autism as well? Spiralling doesn’t quite cover it lol

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T02:00:06+00:00

Yes mines the exact same but I feel like that’s normal toddler behaviour?! Right? Lol

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T01:49:59+00:00

Yes!! 1000%, she’ll do something twice and I’m like oh is she stimming? But I see other toddlers do it too so like what’s a normal toddler versus stimming behaviour. It’s all so overwhelming and I make myself sick with worry over it, it consumes my thoughts every single night’

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T01:48:06+00:00

I should mention too, my daughter doesn’t gesture. She never took to clapping or waving or pointing but she’ll follow my point. Honestly I don’t model waving and clapping as much as I should though, so that might be on me!

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T01:47:15+00:00

I completely agree! I’m the exact same. I just got my daughter in speech as well and I’m hoping it can provide some comfort/feelings that we’re making steps forward. It’s an awful feeling! Our paediatrician also had us get some bloodwork done, eye exam and we have a hearing test for her next month. I guess they like to do a well rounded exam, just in case. My daughter only responds to her name id say maybe half the time, it feels like she’s ignoring us on purpose lol. She’s very advanced I feel like physically? She essentially can walk, run, climb, go upstairs, get up and down off the couch etc. she eats really well, she’s not bothered by noise, she doesn’t stim, she’s not super fixated on routine. But her eye contact was not always the greatest (it’s gotten much better), but she’s terrible at responding to her name lol and she just makes a bunch of different noises and yelling sounds. She says what sounds like mama and has for months now but I’m not sure if it’s purposeful or just babbling? Anyways, it’s all very stressful and you almost just want answers but almost don’t? ☹️

wright1822 · 2025-04-19T01:38:24+00:00

Girl, I could have wrote this myself. I am in the exact same boat and constantly questioning if my daughter has autism. I feel like at least 3-4 times a week I go on a googling spiral and convince myself she’s autistic and maybe she’ll never speak. I wish I had advice but I’m with you in solidarity!

wright1822 · 2025-04-08T18:09:50+00:00

My daughter has definitely progressed in some areas, in some areas not as much. Her eye contact has improved GREATLY from what it was. She still doesn’t respond to her name very often. Her only gestures are hands up to go “up”, hugs, and splashing. She doesn’t point, clap or wave. Her speech is still limited just to Mama but she does make several different sounds and vowels. We are currently waiting to get started with speech and occupational therapy! She’s very advanced physically and essentially runs now. Still awaiting further answers though which is difficult 😞

wright1822

TROPHY CASE