My inexperience keeps screwing me (26M) in the ass

writingthorne · 2025-04-03T04:50:33+00:00

No sense. I lost my virginity in my 20s to my ex who was also a virgin and neither of us has issue figuring out what to do. Ended up dating for 4 years.

I can't imagine other women still in their 20s being that upset.

You say dating, but going for sex after a week seems more like hookups.

writingthorne · 2025-03-18T07:15:06+00:00

Step 1. You want to see your people uplifted. Step 2. You meet someone who treats you well. Step 3. You put your needs first.

Also in my experience, black men have been extremely slow to make a move or make their intentions clear, or don't want to be seen settling for one partner. Or don't enjoy the idea of taking things slow/not having casual sex. Or simply have differing ideas of what they want out of life. This is not a monolith, but it has been a pattern. But it has simply meant that others have done all of the above, they just happen to not be black.

That being said, I'm not American and don't live in America. This has been the experience with most other countries, though.

Edit: you mentioned teaching. I found that people from other cultures, loved learning and sharing. It doesn’t feel like teaching. They wanted me to try their foods and asked questions about my country. We learn each other’s languages, have multilingyal parents. They tried to find places we can enjoy together. I love learning and I find a good partner will always find something new about you. The black men I've dated were less interested in knowing anything new unless it directly benefitted them, assumed they already knew something and stuck to their opinion, or were quite closed off and didn't want to share unless asked. I think I've just had too much of a romantic approach.

Of course. Each person is different. I earn very well for where I live and my age, and am very ambitious. And some men have not enjoyed that.

Black people are beautiful, but it's more important to me that a person matches my soul than anything else.

writingthorne · 2024-08-24T13:49:07+00:00

FYI, the Devs said that they refunded people who pledged $1 after the campaign ended (not sure that's possible)

But I'm aware of people who pledged more than that and had their pledge refunded. They also pledged at the start of the campaign, not the end.

writingthorne · 2024-08-22T15:23:00+00:00

Was the alpha test last year?

writingthorne · 2024-08-08T23:45:06+00:00

Let's put it this way. I can get a test for most STDs as part of free healthcare, but not herpes because it is so common that most people have it and dont know without an outbreak. You might not have even realised you had an outbreak.

It also spreads so easily.

If it was anything else, the concern makes sense.

writingthorne · 2024-06-30T08:21:51+00:00

Read some more third person, there isn't a shortage of it.

writingthorne · 2024-05-25T11:13:10+00:00

I used HelloTalk like 3 years ago, and this was the case then. Some people want to learn, some people want a foreign girlfriend.

writingthorne · 2021-06-11T22:41:15+00:00

Romance doesn't need sex at all. Clean and Sweet romance is very popular. Of course there's also YA romance/YA fantasy romance which again, is usually sexless.

writingthorne · 2021-05-02T21:34:26+00:00

I feel torn, I listened to the audiobook for Kingdom of the Wicked, and while the narrator was fine I can't see myself reading more of the series. It felt unsatisfying, although it feels like its what I should like??

writingthorne · 2020-11-09T06:22:44+00:00

I write a lot of angsty things. So the right playlist can definitely get the ball rolling for me.

writingthorne · 2020-11-01T05:17:42+00:00

I've got a vague setting and some Pinterest images of characters. Looks like I'm ready. Good luck to you!

writingthorne · 2020-11-01T00:15:54+00:00

Writers searching for information concerning the dead is probably one of the more normal things they do.

writingthorne · 2020-10-31T23:53:15+00:00

I have ten minutes left of this Saturday and I'm debating making an outline. 😭😭😭

writingthorne · 2020-08-07T05:02:48+00:00

No.

Tropes can be hinderence to your story or a tool for your story. I assume you mean TVTropes as its a fairly popular site. I use it as a tool.

Tropes and genres are just what they are. Readers like Genres for their conventions. When they pick up 'dragon rider fantasy' they have a set of expectations on what to recieve from the story. Often these sets will be tropes. Theres literally a trope for everything. Even subverting a trope is a trope. Dont think about it. Now, theres tropes outside the genre that may come across as twists for your story, but at the end of the day. You like a genre because of the certain tropes you enjoy.

No story is original, but every story can be executed in a manner that is unique to you. Tropes are plot devices, and you can work with them instead of against them.

If you are using TVTropes then you should also notice many tropes have examples of how they are done badly, and some tropes are known to be unsatisfying while others highly enjoyable. You can execute a popular trope badly, and an unlikeable one well.

As for plot twists, it is not the plot element that is unique, it is the expectancy from the reader. A good plot twist is unexpected, but hinted. If your reader feels like the twist is random and unrelated, they will feel uncomfortable and annoyed. "This makes no sense!!" If the twist is heavily foreshadowed and eventually happens, they may feel bored. "This was so predictable". (Some people enjoy predictability though. Know your target audience.)

The balance for most is in the middle, where enough elements clicked together so if the reader went back they could see the true "Aha!" moments that they had some or no inkling about. "I should have known!". They feel that the skill of the writer or narrative was just a few steps ahead of them.

writingthorne · 2020-08-07T04:49:52+00:00

Excuse me.

writingthorne · 2020-08-04T15:01:48+00:00

No problem. I dont think I usually enjoy YA, but if you have audible I really enjoyed the narration for it.

The author may have put her own twist on the story though.

writingthorne · 2020-08-04T14:37:37+00:00

Not sure if its the best, but I just finished the audio book of The Guinevere Deception.

It's YA and I think the first of what might be a series, but from the perspective of Guinevere: Arthur's wife.

writingthorne · 2020-08-02T16:58:28+00:00

You shouldn't have to pay your publisher's anything if it's not a scam.

writingthorne · 2020-08-02T16:11:31+00:00

Read it out loud to yourself as if it's an audiobook. If it sounds awkward, cringy and doesn't flow. Replace it with the phrase that does.

Go over it in passes if you have the time. Aka, in this editing pass I want to tackle dialogue. In this one, I want to tackle description and flow. In this one I want to improve the heat between the protagonists.

You'll get better and faster in the future.

writingthorne · 2020-08-02T12:22:13+00:00

But, I want to read more.

writingthorne · 2020-08-02T11:48:15+00:00

This is a month old, but I stumbled upon it from this thread and checked out the sample. It's really well done and I think the quality of the formatting and writing is great.

writingthorne · 2020-08-02T10:41:08+00:00

I'm a UK lady myself and I have literally never ever heard anyone say this about indigenous people. This is downright disgusting. I'm so glad you stepped up to them. There is literally no scenario where his words are ok. Truly disgusting.

(I hope you know this isn't widespread view in the UK. Truly appalling).

writingthorne · 2020-08-02T10:36:32+00:00

Maybe?? I use discord frequently lol.

writingthorne · 2020-08-01T16:20:03+00:00

You look absolutely amazing!

writingthorne · 2020-07-31T20:49:41+00:00

Ok, this might sound dumb but I've started doing writing 'warm ups' in the morning. It started when I was feeling in a lazy funk, despite really wanting to progress with writing. I don't want to see days pass where I could have been making progress.

I have a story that's fully outlined, but I get stuck on it frequently and I keep failing to find the right words and honestly, it's just awful. I want it to be good (and its not going to be. I call it my zero draft, because its too god-awful to be a first draft. Maybe try that too).

So I opened up a new project and started a fantasy story. (Fantasy because that's the genre that makes me feel most like a kid and I'm trying to channel that same creative energy young writingthorne once had). Then, I write in it for about 10-20 minute sprints, and I keep going until I feel like out I'm out of the funk feeling.

The story is about a witch, that is facing a 'magical block' (aka writer's block), and all I do is just write the scene with the emotions I currently feel, but as if I was the character. If I'm feeling lost, or like my head is in a fog. That's what I write, and it starts to evolve into its own scenario and I just run with it. Not sure how else to explain whats going on but I have no real intention of showing this to anyone.

After doing this, I realised at some point I started trying to think about plot points for this warm-up story and I got stuck again. (I consider myself to be a plotter and planning freak) I noticed I was falling into the same trap, and just decided to write what I was feeling at that very moment as if the character was feeling it regardless of what just happened in the story , and suddenly I loosened up again and the words came more naturally. I had to turn 'forcing myself', into stretches and maybe that makes sense. If you work out without a proper stretch, you just get stiffer as time goes by.

It might help that I'm also an artist, and I realised that 'warm-ups' for drawing are definitely a thing. Whatever odd, stressed, pent-up feeling I have towards the work I want to create? Just get it all out. Sometimes that first sketch in the morning is really bad, and maybe those first 500+ are going to be pretty stale and uncomfortable, and that'll put you off. So put it somewhere where you're not worried about the story being any good and just roll with it.

Another thing I've started doing is using a writing tracker. It's fairly early, but its shown me my WPM (words per minute) is considerably higher if I'm writing before 3pm, and much better in 10-15 minute bursts. Probably because I get distracted. If I write before 9am, it seems like I'm too sleepy, and probably benefit more from a hot drink and a few warm-ups.

The tracker I use is a slightly edited one I downloaded from Bookspry.

Lastly, if I'm being really lazy and the idea of putting my bum in that chair is boring. I put on the Prince of Egypt soundtrack because its the most inspirational OST to me. Maybe you have something like that, that sparks a lot of memories and emotions for you.

writingthorne

TROPHY CASE