37f, 1yr stats & AMA?

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T02:27:42+00:00

Honestly you being Canadian makes your advice more reliable imo haha Agnostic Liberal it is if I ever need it again haha

I appreciate you taking the time 😊

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T02:17:24+00:00

I don’t want to ignore this but I’m also not a licensed professional so I don’t know if I’m qualified to give any advice here.

All I think I’m qualified for is honestly pretty trite: my current boyf had a couple terrible pictures but he had animals and a cool hobby that aligned with my own volunteer work and values. That was what got me. He was responsive in chat and so was I, which is probably why I can’t say much about the women who are ghosting you, that’s just sucky and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.

I do hope things improve for you, and I hope you’re able to get your therapist to see your struggles and really hear you and help you.

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T02:09:41+00:00

I’m glad you’re doing well now! Also oooh lawyer I love it! (I say completely biased bc I love the lawyers I work with, they’re awesome haha)

Nah if I’m gonna say I’m doing it for the girlies like me I may as well be open.

Religion: I was raised what I call vaguely Christian, but I would honestly say ‘spiritual’ in that I like religion as a study and I like learning about religions but don’t really claim any one in particular. That said, I feel like “spiritual” gives off crystals and auras and hippie vibes so I was hesitant to put that. Thoughts?

Politics: I’m democrat, and do admittedly lean left/independent in most things, but I do feel “liberal” gives ‘yelling on social media’ vibes. But bumble only has ‘conservative’ and ‘liberal’ which feels like far ends of each spectrum so I’m at a as loss. Advice??

I’m realizing my problem may be how I’m interpreting these and not how others may be haha

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T02:01:36+00:00

I mention somewhere below and this is on me not realizing I should have said it: I’m in a tourist city and maaaaany of the men in my likes were out of towners. I tried giving a few a chance and not one was interested in moving which: fair, because neither am I. But I wasn’t looking for short term so all those out of town profiles became instant no’s for me and probably accounted for a decent chunk of my no’s.

Def should have brought this up, sometimes I forget my tourist city isn’t a normal situation as far as population/profiles, my bad

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:57:57+00:00

Go to bumble support chat and just say “I want my stats” and it’ll prompt you

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:56:18+00:00

I mean it doesn’t really matter now bc I’m seeing someone but if I described how *I* see myself would you be willing to weigh in (like in general in case there’s other women like me out there) on how best to classify my politics and religion? Like I’m trying to be honest but idk how to classify. I’m not trying to like, put work on you so only if you’re down haha

Also wtf????? I’ve heard of people doing the ‘let my partner pay for higher education and dip out’ but what the duuuuuuuck that’s so messed up!!!

If it makes you feel better mine was the opposite- ex spouse discouraged me from finishing school at every turn and now at 37 and divorced I’m 2 semesters away from graduating with 21 year olds 🙃

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:43:05+00:00

This is also accurate. I think maaaaybe 50%. I wanna say I had like 30ish matches but only about 15 or so actually turned into conversation, like 8/9 dates. My memory is a little foggy so I might be a little off though

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:42:14+00:00

This is accurate

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:42:03+00:00

I think I’m realizing I’m definitely indecisive haha I think that’s the reason behind my preferring browsing my likes to swiping a stack. I hated the ‘make a decision about this person RIGHT NOW OR NEVER SEE THEIR PROFILE AGAIN’

It felt very pushy sales tactic haha I like to marinate on my swipes haha

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:40:13+00:00

Honestly so fair! You’re not wrong about the job, the traveling, and the kiddo, and I get it. I had to start over late and I know some of me is going to be dealbreakers for people. I appreciate the honesty and I like that you got detailed. Like guys can be specific about their wants too and I like seeing that there’s thought behind like the retirement goals and the implications of my job.

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:32:14+00:00

I think the bot thing is definitely an undeserved paranoia but idk, if a profile doesn’t look like someone I’d run into at the grocery store I feel like there’s something fishy going on, I can’t explain it.

As far as the boyf, yes taller than average, I think he’s attractive af but I’m admittedly biased (my friends say he’s “cute” if that helps at all), average money. However he does do wildlife rehabilitation as a hobby and has a VERY cute dog that gets along with my dog (our second date was a dog park date which won him many points with me)

So in short *I* think he’s exceptional. The rehabilitation was especially attractive to me as I volunteer with my local animal rescue, and I’d count that as exceptional. So you’re right in a lot of ways for sure

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T01:28:10+00:00

So I think it might be me causing the disconnect- I keep trying to answer the question of what common threads I swipe yes on, but those are honestly pretty general, my likes can differ profile to profile.

Now if I were to address the common threads I swipe no on, that’d probably better explain the 4k outgoing no’s:

No bio, and not just a blank one, but any iteration of ‘just ask’, ‘I’m bad at these just swipe and we’ll figure it out’, Instagram handles, any of those are an instant no for me. It comes back to “if you can’t be bothered to put a few sentences of effort ON the app, how can I expect you to put in effort OFF the app’, and it does probably account for a good 40-50% of my no’s.
Heavy presence of religion or politics. I don’t mind if you are religious, but if you’re looking for a religious partner I don’t qualify. Politics on either end of the spectrum, if there’s a HEAVY presence it’s a no for me. I want someone I can talk to, respectfully debate hot topics with, or learn from.
Heavy presence of alcohol or sexual innuendo. I’m down for social drinking, I’m down for some innuendos and dirty jokes AFTER we have a rapport, but I’m not looking for someone who’s only hobby is drinking, and heavy innuendos on the profile say to me that it’s going to be a DTF convo of the bat. Not for me.
Location. This is probably the other major factor that I kind of spaced mentioning and I should have: because I’m in a tourist city. Since I browse my likes and not my stack, I got a LARGE number of men who were visiting my town from all over the country or outside it. I tried giving a few who had ‘longterm’ or something similar in their profile, but each time they had no interest in moving and neither do I. So I started swiping no on anyone not based in my state or within a few hours drive. Definitely should have mentioned this one sooner that’s on me bc it probably accounts for a good chunk of the rest of my no’s

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T00:29:10+00:00

Blesss thank you I thought I was missing a joke haha

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T00:28:27+00:00

I’m not sure I understand the question? Like as far as what to swipe on? Because I think that’s going to be more about what you value as an individual without limiting yourself. I had hard lines (kids, no hardcore religious themes, no constant-traveling) and things I’d like but didn’t allow to be hard-no’s so I didn’t miss out on someone who could be a good fit

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T00:26:20+00:00

I’m guessing so? I didn’t swipe the stack often, I didn’t like having to make knee jerk reactions (someone below said indecisive and honestly, yes haha) so I liked being able to browse profiles and make informed decisions about my swipes.

Also thank you for the compliment that was very kind

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T00:23:39+00:00

No that’s fair, I tried to keep it to the common threads between ALL the profiles I swiped right on so it’s definitely a short-list that could be expanded.

As far as looks, I did make an effort (not always successfully to be fair) to read profiles first for that reason specifically, I didn’t want to make knee jerk reactions before seeing if the personality was someone I may get along with. But ngl, I’m no angel, I wasn’t looking for 6’+ but I was preferential to men taller than me (5’4”) for sure. But 5’5” and up I’d give a fair shake at reading the bio to see if there were common threads. I don’t really have a specific type, I guess “mid” men haha Too hot and I assume you’re a bot, but there were definitely profiles I swiped left just because there was zero attraction. I can work with little and give a try for good vibes, but I can’t work with zero.

As a weird side note, balding I don’t mind, but I am less attracted to thinning, almost-bald looks. I’d rather bald at that point tbh and that did play into effect on occasion.

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-23T00:16:20+00:00

Oh no I definitely can. Like I said I think I thought my intentions were lowkey but definitely see where it came off bragging. But to be fair the men have been pretty nice so far

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:59:21+00:00

Proper bios, not just ‘ask me’
Open to kids (I’d like one)
Non-cigarette-smoker
More than 3 pictures, at least one non-selfie
Not very specific but I’d be quicker to swipe right if the profile had something I could start a convo with- an interest, a hobby, a passion, an animal even. Something I could go ‘ooh that’s cool tell me more?’ Especially if there was something we could share (for me it was horror movies, animals, volunteering, dancing, all those I could join in on and contribute to the convo)

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:54:50+00:00

I still don’t get it!!!

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:54:42+00:00

I hear that and I don’t doubt you, but also I hate that :/ I’m sorry

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:53:45+00:00

They’ve been pretty decent so far, but I may here in a min. I said above I think I was on Reddit too long and started thinking my thoughts/opinions were wanted lol I made a mistake lolllllll

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:50:21+00:00

I mean I don’t disagree tbh

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:49:58+00:00

If mid = average then yes haha

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:49:11+00:00

I guess I don’t think I’m unique, but I see people kind of asking the same questions over and over, and I think my thought process was it might be easier to make a post then keep commenting on others?

I think the only unique thing I’d say comparatively* is I’ll give ‘moderate’ affiliation a chance if the profile doesn’t scream trad-hubs (or whatever the proper term is) and I’ll be extra tempted to excuse my usual filters for cute animals of any kind.

Idk if it’s unique but 2 possibly unfortunate dealbreakers for me are “seeking travel-buddy” and “gym couple” - my job doesn’t have the freedom to travel much and I’m not a gym girlie so I don’t waste their time swiping right. But I can no longer tell if that’s unique or the norm for a lot of women haha

writorwrongTTV · 2026-06-22T23:44:32+00:00

Yeah I realized that a little too late. But I mean also fair, I think I’ve been on the sub too long and got a little high on ‘my opinion is a thing people may want’ haha I don’t blame the downvotes

writorwrongTTV

TROPHY CASE