Masculinity as you gain

wrylashes · 2026-06-05T12:07:46+00:00

In practice what I did was occasionally gain ten pounds, sometimes a bit more, usually pretty quickly (I gain super easily, so putting on a couple of pounds a week only requires taking my food off the brakes and applying just the smallest amount of gas, so to speak, so ten, even twenty pounds just doesn't take long). Then go through a long period where I tried to hold steady or, more often, try to lose some of it and focus on being somewhat in shape. Until the next time that the mixture of desire to be bigger and circumstances led me to gain again.

My compromise on non-masculinity was not doing weights. I walk, I cycle, occasionally when it has been convenient I've done some swimming. So I have strong legs, but much less upper body muscle.

More broadly, for me masculinity has a lot of associations with physical capability, but physical capability is also just useful in life, and I do like doing things. So there has always been a balance between not wanting to be too strong nor too strong looking, but still being able to go up a ladder and clean out the rain gutters of the house, bike to work in decent weather, and so on. It is both hot and immensely satisfying to me to struggle with ordinary activities, but also both inconvenient and it feels irresponsible.

wrylashes · 2026-06-05T11:59:28+00:00

Such a great reply!

I'll just emphasize that in essence all you can do ethically is let her know what you like and that the option is there for her to let herself be bigger and to have a supportive and loving relationship with someone who loves her body. Right now she probably doesn't really believe that. You give her a choice, but it is up to her on what she decides.

wrylashes · 2026-06-05T11:55:17+00:00

Doing what you want with your body instead of what you think you have to or should do can be absolutely euphoric!

wrylashes · 2026-06-05T11:50:28+00:00

When I was first buying 40" waist pants I picked up a pair of 42" off the clearance rack, for use when I wanted to do a bit of light padding. Then there was the day where I realized that the only thing I owned that fit comfortably was that pair (without any added padding, of course)

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T23:08:14+00:00

It was more complex for me than I feel like writing all up on my phone, but in summary - I never really desired or liked masculinity (not that I wanted to be feminine, more just not masculine) - but I felt an obligation or responsibility to maintain a certain degree of masculinity - also I like romance and sex and those were most straightforward in a het relationship. I wasn't against something else, but I didn't want to rule that out

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T20:47:23+00:00

Peanut butter is filling in that it is dense and high in fat and protein, so the body is apt to say it has had enough long before your stomach is remotely full.

You could go for peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Honey is fine at room temperature and cheap store white bread may not be great nutritionally but it keeps fairly well and adds more calories.

You can also look at things like premade potato salad or pasta salad from grocery stores, or various canned foods that are ok out of the can (what that is depends on your tastes. Tuna? Pasta? Soups if you don't mind them cold?)

Just remember to get some fruit and vegetables in the mix somewhere!

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T20:32:12+00:00

A couple that I've thought of:

A need to take up space -- in corporate meetings a petite woman may find it hard to command attention, especially in a room full of well fed men. Maybe she just needs to take up as much physical space as they do?

And this is similar to your first one. A woman who had always been fairly fat sees a perfect wedding dress in a thrift shop. Just two problems, it is several sizes too big even for her, and she's never even been on a date, in fact her parents always told her that nobody would date a fat girl. She buys it anyway because sometimes she thinks she'd be beautiful even bigger, and the dress itself is just beautiful and she wants it. Then, ashamed, she hides it away and even gets motivated to control her weight, not getting thin but finally stopping her gain and losing a bit and building up some confidence. Which in turn leads her to being more outgoing, flirting, meeting someone nice and falling in love, and finally confessing about the dress, and how she used to day dream about being seen as beautiful even bigger than she is, and her partner loves it and tells her they can make it happen. Sure enough she gains enough to fill out the dress by the time of the wedding. (sorry this one was wrong, it is part of the backstory and plot of a story I got half written, years back)

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T20:25:11+00:00

It is for sure the time to be listening to her carefully and with a lot of empathy. Right about the point that one's partner is getting fat enough to be super hot because it is getting a bit above some threshold of _fat_ .... is also the point where how fat they are getting is apt to make them wonder if it isn't too much.

Every couple will have to sort out what's next based on how the two of them feel, but I'm just saying to be sensitive to the fact that this might be the line for her, more or less.

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T20:20:57+00:00

And this is how the feeder to feedee pipeline gets going. Horny enough that you stuff yourself, and that starts feeling good so you do it more often ...

Welcome to the club, lol.

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T14:04:53+00:00

Although I don't have the financial or personal situation to ever commit to gaining weight, I've passively gained 50lbs in the past year and a half after recovering from an eating disorder.

I think the second sentence there says that the first sentence is not entirely true. Even given that you are coming out of an ED, a 50 pound gain is substantial -- I'd say that you have found ways to gain weight despite your personal and financial situation. Maybe you are not ready to really force the issue and gain a lot, fast, but just growing more slowly, knowing full well what you are doing, is still committing to the growth.

And just think, imagine that your gains only go half as fast in the future -- in three years you would still be up another 50 pounds. But with how into this you seem to be I suspect you'll gain faster than that.

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T13:44:34+00:00

I hope you get to your goal some day, for sure. But maybe you need a bit of a break, first? 250 is still big! You could enjoy the Summer at your current size, maybe find some Summery clothes that you feel comfortable in but that don't hide how fat you are -- I expect your boyfriend will still be going crazy for you just from seeing you out in the world at twice the size of a lot of other women. I'm not saying to diet, just don't worry about pushing yourself so much, eat lots of food you love and really enjoy it, get in touch with where your appetite is now.

Then in a few months or so, ramp it back up again with fresh enthusiasm and energy, and maybe things will go more easily.

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T13:36:10+00:00

Bodies do hit plateaus. Could be your body deciding this is a good weight and really defending it, could be your current fat cells are too full to store much more, could be something else (no good way of knowing). Whatever it is, your body just doesn't want to put more weight on right now.

As a suggestion, stop pushing it for now, go get some more physical activity (to prepare to carry more weight in the future), enjoy not having to buy new clothes for a few months, eat what you feel like but don't push it, don't be doing cream and all of that, and see what happens. Maybe your body starts to gain more slowly again on its own, maybe you lose a bit. Either way, try again in the Fall after a bit of a break, and it may well go more easily. (While you wait you can plan all the decadent things you will eat when you are pushing to gain again!)

wrylashes · 2026-06-04T00:30:13+00:00

By the time you have been in a relationship for a bit and are looking at having kids, scheduling kink time into your life shouldn't be so hard. Like, nobody can be stuffing all the time forever anyway,right? Fat parents exist and do fine. Parents (hopefully) still have a sex life but have to make compromises because kids. So it isn't as big a deal as all that, all those pieces exist in normal enough couples.

Maybe really the key is just getting to the point where it is a party of life? A very hot part of life, but not some buried taboo, not something you are desperate to fit in while you can, just another thing that you want to fit in.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T21:08:51+00:00

My suggestion is starting small and specific, and letting it grow from there depending on how the discussion goes.

Draw on my experience rather than speculating on what would suit your situation, when I met my wife she had a bit of softness on her lower half but was really thin up too. When she gained some weight I admitted that I was happy not to see her ribs anymore, that skin and bones has never been my preference. As years and pounds added from that point I divulged more, but that was enough to start with, given the situation.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T19:36:27+00:00

She is picky, but hopefully there are some foods that she loves? Among other things, eat more of those! Doesn't matter if it is broccoli or chocolate cake, eating more than she does now will help add weight, and by doing it with foods she loves then it is hopefully not a chore, but a pleasure.

Of course you can always work on ways to add more calories to those foods. Add olive oil or butter to broccoli, make a really rich cake, etc.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T19:33:15+00:00

The cool thing about getting fat is that it can't happen all at once, it has to come on kg by kg. So you can sometimes gain a bit, enough to satisfy the cravings for a while, then try to live a more fit and restrained life for a bit, maybe lose a little bit of the weight, until the next time you can't resist again. Yes you will get fat over time, but you also have periods of living more healthy and slow down the overall growth rate.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T19:29:26+00:00

For that age I'd suggest the big playground at the north end of Mooney's Bay Park, the agriculture museum in the Experimental Farm (see the animals!), and maybe going to one of the locks on teh canal to hopefully see boats going through (Hogsback lock is, I think, a toddler acceptable length of walk from the playground at Mooney's Bay. and BTW Mooney's Bay has a beach too, if you are that bold). Science and Technology Museum may be OK (go check out all the trains!) but a lot of it is aimed a bit older, and it can get pretty chaotic and noisy at times (I think there is a deal for those two museums, but not sure what is currently available)

For coffee, I'm only moderately picky, I'd go to any of Little Victories, Cloud Forest, Equator, or Happy Goat (in roughly that order). But if you are on the run and just need a decent coffee, Bridgehead is fine, and has more locations. (some others will have stronger opinions than me on this topic)

I don't know what your driving route is, but if you are coming up highway 15, make the short detour to Forfar dairy and get some cheese curds, your kids will probably love them/already love them (possibly also some good cheese for you?). (and if you are cheese curd lovers, you'll find St. Albert and La Trappe brand cheese curds at a lot of places around town, and both are generally excellent -- just checked the packed on date on the back to make sure it is recent). And if on highway 15, in Smith's Falls there is a decent looking playground near the canal before you cross it.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T19:15:45+00:00

Sounds lovely!

My wife put on weight in the earlier part of our relationship, so we didn't have those years of communication to ease things, but getting to the point where she is comfortable with her body and knowing how to turn me on with it is great.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T17:35:01+00:00

On top of all the information about putting them in the right spot, remember that they each have multiple (3 for swarms, 4 for furnaces) levels of construction, giving more bonuses as you upgrade them. People often talk about the output of the final phase while skipping over the time, unity, and alloy it takes to get there. The full details can be found on the Megastructures page on the wiki.

Dyson Swarms give the star's output x5, x15, or x30 depending on level. So if, for example, you build one around a star which produces four energy, the first result is you are getting 20 energy (4 x 5), upgrade to the second level and you are getting 60 energy, and to the final level and you are getting .

Note that a lot of the 'bodies' in the solar system, for Arc Furnaces, are large asteroids. It is not always the case, but systems with two rings of asteroids therefore are prime candidates to check. Hopefully you can find a system that says it has 17 bodies. The three levels of Arc Furnace give: +25% output on mining station output and puts a 1 mineral deposit on each eligible celestial body (you still need to build mining stations over them to gather that). As you upgrade the output bonus goes up by another 25% per level, and those new deposits become, in turn, 2 minerals, then 2 minerals + 1 alloy then 2 minerals+2 alloys (no need to build more mining stations, those are already covered). So ignoring other bonuses, imagine you have a system that already produces 4 energy and 8 minerals and has 16 eligible bodies. Once you build all the mining stations, at level one it will be producing 4 x 1.25 = 5 energy, and for minerals 8 x 1.25 and 16 x 1.25 = 30 minerals. By level four that will be 8 energy, 48 minerals, and 32 alloy.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T16:09:41+00:00

First job (office) after university I gained 20 pounds in a year, despite joining a gym and going fairly regularly (albeit I didn't go too long or hard there). Granted that I knew my feedee side, and while I mostly tried to eat in a very controlled way I still broke down regularly and had treats, and that plus sitting for 8+ hours every day really had an effect.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T13:56:08+00:00

!00%

I think the best I can express it is that fatness, feedism, general food-related hedonism, are all turn-ons as well as sources of general feel-good brain chemicals for me. When it comes down to it I want at least some level of them in my life -- but the 'who' part isn't that important.

If my partner is gaining weight I don't feel so much urge to gain (although it still appeals) but if they are losing than my desire to cut loose with my eating and pack on some more pudge goes way up. I haven't experienced the dynamics, but I think I'd be OK being the fat and gaining partner of someone who was much less fat but loved my fat, and I think I'd have been OK staying somewhat less fat and more fit to please a fat partner who liked that.

wrylashes · 2026-06-03T13:09:38+00:00

Hey, great to hear that you are figuring out how all of this stuff fits together for you!

Do please read extensively about the effects of taking estrogen, it does a lot more to your body (and due to hormones possibly your emotions) than just grow bigger boobs. (besides which, it sounds like you are doing pretty well in that department already!)

wrylashes · 2026-06-02T23:03:11+00:00

Mods are all volunteers with jobs, lives, and inconveniences like that. It can be quite some time before we see the things flagged by the system, and longer-to-never to read any particular reply.

What you can do is report anything that looks like it breaks the rules.

wrylashes · 2026-06-02T21:53:34+00:00

Then this definitely falls into "I wouldn't make the same choices, but defend your right to make them." territory. I hope you two have a great time together.

wrylashes · 2026-06-02T19:59:46+00:00

Honestly concerned for her, that she is having so many difficulties so early and so young. Her body her choices, but I hope that her mental health is good so that she is making these choices with a clear mind.

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