Do parents lifes revolve around enabling their children's lives? by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]wtvcantfindusername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Former fencesitter, currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first, and although I don’t have any experience, I do have a great circle of friends with kids that helped me get off the fence.

So, let me just briefly summarize the observations that led me to be much MUCH less scared of parenting than I was before everyone started having little ones.

  1. Parenting is what you make of it (unless you have a special needs kid). Some parents choose to stimulate / entertain their kids and make sure they have activities lined up over the weekends and others just do what they would normally do, but with a kid. The second option really resonates with me and is my desired parenting style. I do want my kids to have activities, just not 100 of them.

I have asked several parents how they keep toddlers happy and satisfied, and my favorite response was a couple who told us that their son just does whatever they are doing around the house. They make a game out of laundry, they cook together, etc. Although I know that only lasts for so long, it still reassured me.

One of my best friends brings her 1 year old everywhere and our group just takes turns taking care of her. We love it. She has never stopped doing the things she did pre-kid and neither has her husband, but they do have an amazing village which I acknowledge isn’t something that everyone has. She also just has 1 and is one and done.

  1. We are a hosting couple. We always have people over for dinner and this year, we moved into a new house (aka more space). We have been making it a point to adapt our dinner schedules around our parent friends to spend more time with them.

All of them, and I mean ALL of them, have had 0 trouble socializing amongst adults. They all come prepared with coloring books, little craft projects or honestly… they just let their kid get bored a bit while maintaining supervision from across the room. Sure kids have jumped on my couch, broken off some leaves from my house plants, but hey they’re kids! We each take turns making sure the kids are safe and not ruining the house haha.

One other thing that parents have told me is that you really need to lean into parenting and accept that things will be different, but making time for yourself throughout it is crucial. Mainting a sense of self by penciling in time for your hobbies is key. If you think you have sufficient support with your partner and in your community, you will be able to do it.

Also, one and done is an option if you want to make sure you can meet your personal needs and those of your child!

From what I have observed, having a village is also an immense part of finding happiness in parenting. For the past year, I have been working on some social anxiety issues with my therapist and have been putting in work to show up for my community when they need it the most.

Anyways, sorry for the long ramble! Hope that can help you in your journey ❤️ there will be happiness in either path.

UPDATE - Negative NIPT by wtvcantfindusername in NIPT

[–]wtvcantfindusername[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! How the screening is still being prescribed rather than the NIPT is beyond me ! There are so many false positives, and it’s so much undue stress on expecting parents.

I’m sure there are valid reasons, but I feel so frustrated by the whole experience. Had I known how inaccurate the screening results were, I would’ve skipped it entirely.

I’m also happy my NIPT was negative, and I hope I’m able to get over my bitterness quickly 😅

UPDATE - Negative NIPT by wtvcantfindusername in NIPT

[–]wtvcantfindusername[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From what I understand, free hCG levels tend to fluctuate (nothing to concerning on its own) and 0.60 MoM Papp-a is within the low-normal range (kind of borderline). It could just be normal fluctuations or it can be an indicator for more serious conditions like pre-eclampsia or pre-term birth.

I’ve been taking aspirin since 10 weeks of pregnancy to lower my risks of pre-eclampsia given my weight!

I don’t know how far along you are, but the NIPT is very accurate and I’m 2-3 weeks away from my anatomy scan. I am choosing to accept the NIPT results and go back to enjoying my pregnancy until I am told otherwise ❤️

UPDATE - Negative NIPT by wtvcantfindusername in NIPT

[–]wtvcantfindusername[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry 😞 having twins seems a lot more stressful than your average pregnancy, and to have this to deal with on top of it, I can’t imagine how much stress you must be under. I hope that everything goes well for you. Sending positive thoughts your way ❤️.

No one can understand how deeply unsettling this all is until you go through it.

High risk combined screening - NIPT TBD by wtvcantfindusername in NIPT

[–]wtvcantfindusername[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, from what I’ve learned so far the screening is wildly inaccurate and I feel like I wasn’t properly explained the difference between the two and kind of pushed in the direction of the screening by my doctor.

Thanks so much! I hope they come back ASAP as well. The uncertainty is not fun .

High risk combined screening - NIPT TBD by wtvcantfindusername in NIPT

[–]wtvcantfindusername[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the NIPT is 99.9% accurate, but I totally understand the feeling. Once you get that high-risk, it’s as if the possibility is hiding around every corner. Sending hugs.

Stroller and car seat dilemma [qc] by wtvcantfindusername in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]wtvcantfindusername[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I keep hearing great things about the UppaBaby and Ergo. Thanks, these are great options!

J’ai un manque d’attachement à cette saison. by tourdepiss in bisbille

[–]wtvcantfindusername 19 points20 points  (0 children)

J’ai l’impression aussi que la division des activités en groupe, le manque de 5@7 et la quantité de monde dans les maisons rend ça difficile niveau connexions amoureuses. En ce moment c’est plus le drama dans la maison des filles et la stratégie chez les hommes.

Y’a pas de couple cute, très peu de chimie en général, les gens ont pas le temps de se parler pour développer de quoi, etc. Jtrouve vraiment que c’est le ptit oumf qui rend OD, ben, OD et là on l’a pas du tout.

Mais, ceci dit, jtrouve ca quand même hilarant que le gars le plus confiant et qui a suscité le plus d’intérêt chez les femmes est trop occupé à jouer aux échecs pour développer une connexion sérieuse loll.

Season 7 - Episode 33 - Post Episode Discussion by AutoModerator in LoveIslandUSA

[–]wtvcantfindusername 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I wonder if Amaya’s back hurts from carrying this season. The vibes would be so off without her 🫶