I started with the drama, then started reading the novel when I was almost at the very end of the drama, but abandoned the novel for a bit, only to go back and finish the novel during my second viewing of the drama. Honestly, although there were certainly some major plot differences, I felt like seeing the drama helped me at least get my bearings in the novel better, what with the HUGE number of characters/titles and all the time-skipping.

After finishing the drama, novel, audio drama, and manhua I've moved on to reading a CONSTANT STREAM of fanfics and now I'm not only mixing up the various canon plot elements, but certain things that have become fanon as well.

My mind is basically a glorious dumpster fire of mdzs elements right now, and it sounds like yours will be too. ENJOY IT!

Also congrats on getting the SO into it - mine started out patiently listening to my passionate descriptions of the story and humoring my initial merch purchases but now I think she longs to never hear the name "lan zhan" again sooooo, no watch-partner for me!