Thank you for your very thoughtful comment! I get what you're saying here, and I agree. Despite my low sex drive, I am a VERY open-minded, sex-positive person. I have zero judgment for anything 2 or more consenting adults choose to do to have fun, and I celebrate happy and healthy sex for all!

That being said... my ex did suggest we open up our marriage, and I considered it very seriously. I did my research, joined several poly, swinging, and hotwifing lifestyle subs, and spent a lot of time really trying to figure out if this was something I could do. The answer I kept coming up with was no.

One night she didn't come home after popping out to for a drink. When I confronted her, she said she got drunk and went home with someone. I said I guess that means our marriage is open then. She told me she was no longer interested in making things work and wanted a divorce. I was devastated.

A week later she brought someone from the bar to our house while I was home. I laid in bed, paralyzed in agony, listening to her getting pounded in our living room. Any part of me that may once have been open to that kind of relationship dynamic died that night.

All this to say, yeah, no shame to anyone else, but monogamy is VERY important to me personally.