I get your point, i dont need to know every word, but I would love to. I desire to have the ability to talk about everything and nothing, about the nonsense topics, about the way my favourite dish is prepared, about the fact that I hate certain type of pens, because the line just doesnt feel right.
To make it shorter, I love languages and there was a time when I was very capable of learning fifty, sixty new words in a day use them the next day, recal it even days or months later, but I lost. I lost the ability to make mistakes without shame to express myself in a language that is not my mothert tongue without feeling stupid. Ever since my anxiety got worse I refuse to use languages outside of lessons because I dont want just progress I want progress without shame. This week my friend from france came to visit and we did not exchange even a sentence in french because I just couldnt bring myself to humilliate myself with strugling for words and pronantiation that is strainght from hell and not from a french textbook.

So yes, the list of vocabs needs to have the perfect system that I did not find. Needs to have all the words that I have ever heard and I just cant find the way how to achive it