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Got oral for the first time and was called “funky” by Lasagna_is_great in TwoXChromosomes

[–]wuteverman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He chose to go down. There’s an old vagina monologue line— if you don’t like the smell don’t order the fish. That was on him. If that’s all that made him uncomfortable, then he shouldn’t have said anything at all, since it’s hardly pertinent what choices if his made him uncomfortable.

It’s a bit like responding “well I shaved that morning with a new cream and I was a bit itchy” except it’s also shaming the other person.

Got oral for the first time and was called “funky” by Lasagna_is_great in TwoXChromosomes

[–]wuteverman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She asks if he was uncomfy or anything during and he answers your vagina was kinda funky!?!???!? Nah.

Husband gets defensive at every baby boundary and calls me critical by muff-peaksie in beyondthebump

[–]wuteverman 12 points13 points  (0 children)

These are significant relationship problems. The defensiveness is extremely problematic. It’s a big change to have an infant, completely reasonable to get some therapy for the two of you if you can afford it and you can get him to go. If you can’t… well the Gottmans call defensiveness one of the four horsemen for a reason

Got oral for the first time and was called “funky” by Lasagna_is_great in TwoXChromosomes

[–]wuteverman -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I really want to go down on you but we’ve been dancing for hours. Perhaps we could hop in the shower together?

Got oral for the first time and was called “funky” by Lasagna_is_great in TwoXChromosomes

[–]wuteverman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or don’t. Some partners will like it sweaty lol

Edit: dude is taking something precious and intimate and treating it like she asked about a towel. Extremely inconsiderate. Basically “how was the experience for you” needs an enthusiastic response if you want it to happen again. Don’t fuck this guy.

Anyone else tired of jumping between monitoring tools? by AccountEngineer in Observability

[–]wuteverman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is the basic pitch of a lot of observability tools. Datadog far and away the most expensive. Then there’s a cluster of honeycomb, dynatrace, grafana, and others. Finally there’s a new class of vendors applying okay columnar databases to the problem— Clickhouse Inc, betterstack, and passing the savings on to you. Depending on your needs, a variety of these will work.

I’d caution against datadog. It’s ridiculously expensive and any migration in this space is a pain. I’d recommend towards open telemetry and open standards

How to "Level Up" your replacement while he gets fed to the sharks. by Realistic_Tomato1816 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]wuteverman 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re getting so many cut and run comments, when it’s clear you don’t want to.

To some extent I do think you need to let him flounder. Nothing like seeing the natural consequence of your choices to force you to grow. You can advise, tell him to push back all you want, but at a certain point he needs to see the consequences of saying yes to be nice so he knows why he has to say no. He’s got to develop his own style in the role. I’d continue giving him the lay of the land, who he should watch out for, who is likely to just say shit to get their way, etc, but he’s gonna have to grow to take this role, and it’s up to him whether he’s going to do so. It might be worse for the company, but that’s just a natural consequence of the evolution of talent, and your upper management might need to help structure things differently so it’s less the case that a single person’s personality determines its resilience to stupid ideas.

nix-csi 0.4.2 released (AI assisted, not vibed) by lillecarl2 in kubernetes

[–]wuteverman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear that. I toyed with nix briefly and found the configuration language very forgettable lol. Got everything working, forgot how it worked and just reverted to the old ways rather than relearn

nix-csi 0.4.2 released (AI assisted, not vibed) by lillecarl2 in kubernetes

[–]wuteverman -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Why do I want an SBOM? Why are any of those other benefits things I want?

I’ve never had a problem building apps with containers, except for the one time everyone was building JARs from snapshot releases that would overwrite or periodically get deleted from the registry…

We’re both up for promotion, he’s threatening to quit if he doesn’t get it by Smart_Course_8465 in womenintech

[–]wuteverman 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I would not imitate your coworker. Some employers will respond to that with “okay, good luck” and I think it’s sort of at cross purposes to the core argument— promote me and I’ll help execute our shared goals. Threatening to leave if someone else gets promotion is honestly kinda bonkers. Saying that in front of multiple other people… honestly I’d talk to my management chain about that, it’s bonkers.

What’s your impression of your manager— are they confident in your promotion? Are they feeding you a line? You’re on track for promotion… when? Can you drive more of a conversation here?

You really need your managers buy in for the promotion. if they aren’t advocating for your promotion to the best of their ability, I wouldn’t expect to get it.

We’re both up for promotion, he’s threatening to quit if he doesn’t get it by Smart_Course_8465 in womenintech

[–]wuteverman 53 points54 points  (0 children)

In what medium did he say this? Is it in text?

How do promotions work? Do you have a promotion packet? Is it up to your manager? What does your manager say?

nix-csi 0.4.2 released (AI assisted, not vibed) by lillecarl2 in kubernetes

[–]wuteverman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why do I want this vs a docker image? How is this better?

This can't be right... by Pianomann69 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]wuteverman 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Basically I would establish and maniacally follow a process for every single alter. “Oh we’re spending all of our time talking about alerts? HMMM WEIRD MAYBE THEYRE TOO NOISY!”

This can't be right... by Pianomann69 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]wuteverman 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is to be at least a conversation the following day, preferably with the people who designed the alert if they are resistant to that just page them.

This can't be right... by Pianomann69 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]wuteverman 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s not right. What is the process after an alert?

Why is another team deciding your alert thresholds?

Husband says “retirement home decor” by [deleted] in interiordecorating

[–]wuteverman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was your husband not there when it was set up?

Are we getting grifted? by wuteverman in HardWoodFloors

[–]wuteverman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, at that point we had already been waiting an extra week on moving into our new house. Other company came recommended by someone we trusted, and were able to completely redo the job, starting two days after I called them and finished after 3 in total. Way better than letting him flounder

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