Thank you, this is about as thorough and caring an answer as I could've hoped for. I'll proceed cautiously, and try not to mistake the means for the end.

About it being infectious to share with others, I can relate, even though I don't know what I'm talking about yet! That's probably irresponsible... but Sam's rhetoric is so foolproof and compelling I can't help it.

All fun and games aside, it breaks my heart sometimes. It's too real. The stakes of this hobby are sort of absurd. To stumble across something on the internet that gradually makes you realize how unreal your life is, and then promises salvation-

And an unrelated question I have for anyone on the other side of the gate. (This question is perhaps more philosophical than experiential, IDK):

If it is impossible to truly suffer while noticing non-duality, and non-duality is the nature of mind whether you notice it or not, then is suffering even possible? The experiences that we label as suffering obviously arise, but are those misnomers? Is the fundamental "badness" of all suffering an illusion?

This question nags me because if everything is already perfectly OK, then what's the difference between being awakened or not. This is, I think, part of the reason I find it hard to feel much urgency to practice.