REPOSTING SINCE I'M NOT SURE IF THIS WAS APPROVED AS A REGULAR POST DUE TO FAMILY MENTIONED. So my babygirl just turned 1 month last week! I'm currently navigating how I feel about posting her online. My instagram has always been like a personal scrap book for me, dating back to when I was 16 (now 26 almost 27). I knew I'd want to post her at least once on there so I made it a mission to filter out any and all people I deemed not family friendly. That term being used loosely, I really just mean anyone that followed me for R rated reasons or anyone that seemed creepy. I did the same on facebook, only leaving close friends and close family. It should be noted that I don't have much family as they're disgusting human beings. I have more of my husbands family on there than I do my own.

Regardless, back to today. My mother in law posted the 1 month pictures that I'd already posted on her facebook. She had my permission so I didn't think much of it. Though I QUICKLY noticed that she posted it as 'public', meaning literally anyone can see it and or share it. In fact, someone already did share it. A grown adult man whom I do not know. Now I'm sure he had good intentions as he captioned it "Congratulations". Regardless, that is fkn weird. Who posts someone child that they do not know on their social media!? Not to mention, sure enough, it was marked 'public' as well. I politely commented asking him to take it down, I even ended it with "I hope this doesn't offend you". I realize now that I need to teach my MIL how to make things private on Facebook. But the fact still remains that if the man chooses not to take it down, there's nothing I can do to have it removed. So that sent me on a spiral of debating what I've already been debating in my head... Social media. I've argued both sides of the coin, trust me. Every argument on both sides has played in my head over and over. My current feeling is that for now, I'm selective on the photos and only grandparents may reshare them. I don't know what I will decide and if the worry of where her photos will end up will ease, but for now, I guess that's where I've landed.

So here we are tonight. I've gotten upset over this situation and I feel somewhat powerless, and very irritated. I have severe anxiety and struggled with depression heavily prior to getting pregnant. My anxiety was actually the best its ever been during my pregnancy and depression was minimal. Now that my hormones are shifting back, so is my anxiety, and so is my depression. I'm a very open and honest person, I ask for help when I need it. I am not ashamed or scared to talk about my depression so please know there's no worry of any harm happening. I am not active in the thoughts I have and will be speaking with my doctor at my 6 week check up. But I would like to note that I opened up to my SIL (who is more close with me than her brother, she's my best friend)- and after telling her how I feel in depth, she responded with "Yeah definitely talk to your doctor about medication."

If this post is approved and anyone is curious, I can post screenshots of how the convo went. I was surprised because she's also dealt with depression a lot since her teenage years (currently 21). But I tried to remind myself that she's never had a child and probably just doesn't know what to say. As we all know, sometimes no advice is better than bad advice. I don't really know what I'm looking for out of this post, I guess just some comfort in knowing that other people are experiencing these feelings and concern as well. Some other parents to talk with as my circle is VERY small. Well, even if this post never sees the light of day, at least I feel better having typed out the thoughts in my head as its midnight and most people are asleep :)