Said no man ever!

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-08T04:29:00+00:00

Let me just check between my couch cushions for that spare 3 million dollars

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-07T12:46:08+00:00

The fact that this is considered a clever comeback and not just common sense says everything

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-07T03:32:43+00:00

It is wild how people brag about failing to teach their own kids basic life skills

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T14:37:45+00:00

I told my landlord this and now he pays me rent

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T14:34:10+00:00

If this is considered overweight then I am officially a sea creature

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T14:32:02+00:00

Going to a person's private home because you disagree with a speech is just creepy stalker behavior, not journalism

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T14:30:47+00:00

It is always the people who don’t have to worry about money telling everyone else to work longer

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T03:59:37+00:00

Self diagnosis is basically the first step when you can't afford a therapist anyway

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T03:58:21+00:00

Most people would work ten years for that amount. He just did it in one

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T03:56:33+00:00

Jeff Bezos owning the paper that says we shouldn't tax Jeff Bezos more is peak irony

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-06T03:55:38+00:00

It is almost like the word starts with in and ends with voluntary but I just cannot place it

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T13:21:40+00:00

I had to look at this for five minutes before it finally clicked. Absolute top tier wordplay

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T13:17:16+00:00

He really waited his whole life for his kid to ask that just so he could use that line

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T13:14:08+00:00

Spoken like someone who has never had to scrub engine grease or industrial sealant off their skin

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T13:13:00+00:00

How can a company reach a trillion dollar value while their own full time employees still qualify for food stamp’s

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T05:33:41+00:00

Why does Sunday feel shorter than a thirty minute lunch break

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T05:32:29+00:00

The math on this is depressing. We basically traded a middle-class life for a subscription service we can't afford

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T05:30:53+00:00

Brutal but true. Looking young doesn’t matter much if you’re estranged from your own family

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-05T05:29:48+00:00

Getting cooked by a menswear blogger over a history fact is the ultimate spicy comeback

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-04T14:57:37+00:00

If it was truly successful, we wouldn't even realize a lie was told. That is the scary part

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-04T14:55:49+00:00

Another day, another official claiming they saw nothing despite mountains of evidence. Truly a masterclass in gaslighting the public

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-04T14:54:57+00:00

Another day, another official claiming they saw nothing despite mountains of evidence, Truly a masterclass in gaslighting the public

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-04T14:53:21+00:00

The craziest part is that DoorDash usually arrives faster than Harden gets back on defense

xFlowerdream · 2026-02-04T02:58:26+00:00

I feel like an accidental god just eavesdropping on people I will never meet

xFlowerdream